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I forgot who said it here, but a PNM should picture herself "during finals week, with messy hair, living in sweats, and in need of a shower." and I took that to heart. I don't blame 18 year olds in thinking "oh I'm hot stuff ABC is a low even when they invited me back over DEF who is the one others kill to get into." since I was there once. It takes maturity in knowing where you fit conversation/vibe wise, but with many going through fall recruitment and having that be their first campus exposer, it's sadly normal.
I do remember that during virtual recruitment, a lot of this was thrown out the window with there being zero tent talk between PNMs, so not only a lot of girls were going with their gut rather than appearance, but many "low" chapters were making quota. |
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During this same virtual recruitment time frame, both strong and weak NPC chapters were experiencing closures and membership attrition due to members desiring wild, radical changes from the orgs they'd managed to join but failed to completely and legitimately understand. So despite low groups achieving quota during virtuals, some still had to close. And going back to carnation's twenty-year-old OP: is the NPC thinking of returning to pre-RFM days for the sake of interested young women who ONLY want to join a PARTICULAR sorority? Is there a hope by The Most Wanted Sororities to satisfy the needs of many discriminating PNM students to join Only The Best Groups by allowing all Most Favorite Groups to pledge as many women as they want and/or who want them? Would the NPC then lose member groups whose membership size, degree of love from rushees and finances may be smaller than those of the Favorite Groups? |
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bump for fall 2023!
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This is such a great post! The "everyone ends up where they're supposed to!!!" narrative is not true, and I wish people would stop saying it to PNMs.
IMO, they need to be more honest with PNMs about the fact that recruitment (especially in the early rounds) is largely a numbers game, and because there simply isn't enough time for chapters to get to know everyone as well as they would like to, a lot of great girls will be dropped from houses where they would have fit in, and where the girls really liked them but knew other PNMs better and didn't have spots for everyone. It doesn't mean that they're an outcast who didn't fit in anywhere, but that's what these heartbroken PNMs hear when they've been heavily cut or dropped completely and are told, "everyone ends up where they are supposed to." |
Somethings just aren't meant to be
I know several women who participated in rush/recruitment at different colleges and universities but for some reason choose to withdraw from rush, turned a down a bid or were released early in recruitment process. No woman regretted her final decision nor did any woman regret participating in rush/recruitment
All of the women were grateful for the opportunity to get a peek into sorority life and for the opportunity to see if sorority life was right for them. Several of the women said that they made lasting friendships with the women they met in their rush groups and/or in the dorms during the recruitment process. More than one of the women married men who were fraternity members. A couple of women were wistful, saying that maybe at a another campus or at another time, they might have pledged a sorority. All of the women said that they had positive college experiences. As one friend said "There is life after college -- careers, family etc." |
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When talking to any PNM who has been released or whose only remaining invitations were to struggling houses that are widely mocked and ridiculed (and regardless of our feelings on this, it's a reality on most campuses)... I think it's important to try to look at it through the perspective of a teenage girl who is likely experiencing the first major rejection of her life and feels completely unwanted and alone; not that of an adult with years of life experience to draw from. When you're decades removed from it or have never been through it, it's so easy to be dismissive of the emotional devastation that a disappointing recruitment can leave in its wake.
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Yes!!!^^^
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Bumping this with the greatest response of all…truly meant to be for this sister!
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I am so glad that this post was bumped because it was the perfect response and I loved the ending. :) |
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