Bumping for the season.
There's good advice in the entire thread for those who wind up being released from recruitment/not getting a bid, but the best advice is here: Quote:
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Bumping because I got a PM from a PNM looking for such a thread.
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I want to add something, because it seems like the worst cuts come after the second round. If you got most of your top choices after round 1, but then got dropped after round 2, it may be that you "misranked" the first night, and one of the chapters lower on your list may have been the best fit for you. I know it's not much consolation if you end up released, but you shouldn't think nobody wanted you. It's very possible that you were really wanted by one or more of the groups that you didn't go back to.
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Bumping, because while it doesn't happen all the time, it definitely still happens. And AXOhSnap's advice was great here.
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I think DBB's and ACHIOhSnap's comments should really be taken to heart by rushees this fall. You don't want to undervalue yourself, but really think critically about where you fit and make your choices accordingly. Or split the difference and keep 1 dream chapter and move 1 to your ranked list. Just like in the college search, keeping a couple "safeties" in your back pocket is a good idea. Not very many girls go through with an invite list that matches their ranks exactly and you don't want to be that girl who ranks herself right out of any choices. And it absolutely happens. I feel like if you rank them in order of best to least FIT and not best to least social status, you may have a better outcome.
Depending on how competitive the school and chapter are and how rigorous RFM, some may really only be doing grade cuts after round 1 (or close to it), then BOOM, they cut you after round 2 when they have to start being more critical to narrow down their lists. That's just an example scenario, but the point is you might be thinking you're having a much better rush after round 1 than you actually are, without any change in your behavior. Good luck to all. It's right around the corner! |
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I'm reading and trying to absorb everything you're all saying. I'm also trying not to panic. I feel like it's like college admissions - dream school which has a 1% chance of happening, reach schools, 50-50 schools, safety schools. I'm ok with that. I have a completely open mind right now because I don't know any better. I'm a little nervous and hope I'm able to quickly figure out what is what for me and rank like I did for college admissions.
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In another thread, someone mentioned having a "fallback" sorority when ranking. This can be hard for someone who isn't as savvy about the sorority tiers, but for a PNM who has done her homework, it sounds like it could be a strategy to keep from being completely released. As long as she honestly LIKES the fallback group and could see herself being happy there.
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It's old, but I'm replying anyway - with my own experience as well as a bit of advice.
I went through recruitment as an upperclassmen, as a transfer and as a nontradional student. I had taken three years to work after I started out a very expensive private school with a major that I had no idea how I could use it in real life. (3 strikes already in most cases.) I had a less than stellar GPA. I was confident in who I was, I was involved in other campus organizations, and I had friends in sororities. I had recs for every group on campus but one that I assumed I wouldn't want, and 3 for my favorite. Bottom line: I was not who they were looking for, but I was encouraged to try. I had been super involved in high school, but with an average GPA. I knew nothing about Greek life to the point that I pronounced Chi Omega wrong for 3 weeks before I went to school the first time and thought I wouldn't like Kappa Delta because one of their colors was green. I was the first in my family to go to a four year college, and if anyone I knew well was an an alumna of a sorority, they never mentioned it. I was cut in the round before pref parties, and yes, I was disappointed. There were a few tears. I was drawn then not to the college experience, but the experience I could have as an alumna; honestly, this was the part I mourned. My Rho Chi was in tears, and actually met me with her twin sister who was also a Rho Chi and in the same sorority. She told me that I was a phenomenal person, and that had she been there she would have fought for me. I stayed close to these two girls for the rest of the time we were in college, and became good friends with a few other girls that I had met that told me how disappointed they were that they didn't see me again during recruitment. No matter how much the girls in the sororities may have enjoyed my company, I was an illogical choice. They would have gotten two years out of me; being honest, I would likely not have enjoyed many mixers, etc. because I was simply in a different stage in my life. I do regret not going through recruitment MUCH sooner, and I regret not doing the research and preparation before I started my freshman year. I am still a bit wistful when friends talk about being involved in their alum chapters or helping out an active chapter, and if I have a daughter and it's something she wants to pursue I'll make sure she's more prepared than I was. Be realistic. Know yourself and whether or not you can handle being rejected, but also if you go through recruitment and you are rejected, make an effort to nurture the friendships with girls that you feel you truly "clicked" with. You may have some wistfulness over this particular area in your life, and that's ok, but don't focus on it to the point that you miss some truly great experiences because they didn't come with Greek letters. And PLEASE, PLEASE, if you join a service GLO, a local GLO, or another organization, go into it with a clean slate. They are different organizations with different purposes and structures. Love them for what they are and don't try to fit them into the mold of an NPC sorority. |
I pretty much went through almost the same sort of situation, so am offering my two cents.
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I think a lot of what you said is good advice.
You go on to talk about how you started out trying to make Beta more NPC like and how much trouble that caused you guys as newer members. I would highly suggest that any PNM who chooses to join a non-NPC after recruitment AVOID doing that. NPCs and orgs like Beta are apples to oranges. They are not similar. They both have Greek letters but that's kind of where the similarities end. It's important for PNMs to realize that you cannot substitute Beta, Alpha Phi Omega, etc. for an NPC experience. Should you choose to join one of those, it's important to DIVORCE yourself from the expectation that your experience in this org is going to be like Delta Gamma, Chi O, etc. It's not. If you spend all of your time trying to make Beta/APO/etc. like the orgs you didn't get a bid to, you're going to end up missing the point of your org entirely. You're also going to end up alienating women who don't WANT BSPhi/APO to be like XO and are okay with it being WHAT IT IS. Ex: If APO doesn't do Greek Week, and you join APO and constantly push for them to do Greek Week "like the sororities" you are going to start annoying people who REALLY DIDN'T JOIN APO FOR THAT. So just recognize that these orgs are not a bandaid for a failed recruitment. They have their own things going on and you need to alter your expectations in order to fully appreciate them. |
KSUViolet: Perfectly stated!
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