Quote:
Quote:
That being said, I don't see how her experience would give you reason to completely disagree with APhiAnna's entire post (or assume that she doesn't have children). As has been said (to other parents/friends of PNMs), you weren't there with your daughter during recruitment, so you really don't know the reasons why she was cut. Maybe it was because she fell under one of the bulleted points that APhiAnna mentioned, or maybe she just slipped through the cracks. But APhiAnna's post simply said that to blame a poor recruitment outcome on the sororities is the wrong thing to do. The system may be flawed in some ways, but that's not the fault of the individual sororities. |
gee I hope her attitude does not prevent my daughter from getting into the Country Club of her choice :)
|
Quote:
Also it sounds like you're either a huge B or oblivious to the fact that your daughter is. |
Quote:
I wonder if maybe your daughter was coming off as too snobby or something...whether or not she is, all those legacies and scholarships and blah blah blah honestly can be a huge turn off to people. Yeah, I know its counter-intuitive, but still... those are things you want to see on paper, but when you meet the girl, it can be disastrous if they go about it the wrong way. I know you said she didnt talk about her accomplishments, but this still makes me wonder. If she came through and I met her, I would be wary of a girl touting all that, sometimes it comes off as "Well I am better than you and I know I am getting a bid" Honestly, I dont have daughters. I am still a Collegiate member of a sorority, I'm not there yet lol. But, I will say, it doesnt matter how many legacies you are, or how "put together" you look, or how good you are at pretending to be interested in an org, a major part of recruitment is luck and chemistry. You have to make a connection with the girls that are in the room at that moment, it really doesnt matter if youre a legacy, it matters if the girls can see your daughter as a new sister. Every four years, I feel like a sorority can be completely different because of the individual members. If you daughter doesnt click, it might just be because she just didnt get a chance to make a connection. I know when my daughters go through, I will want really badly for her to get into the sorority of her choice (and I will secretly pray it will be mine ;) ) but I will also try to be understanding and ready for the fact that she might not make it in her first try, or at all. If she doesnt click with the sorority women on her campus, then it just wont be the right thing for her, and it may be hard for me, but its about her college experience. I am sorry about that kind of heartbreak, its hard to get over, but encourage her to try COB, I am sure if she gets a different method of meeting women, it will be easier. We all (do/and will) build our daughters up, mothers know their daughters better than anyone, but in the end, we just dont know how they really acted that day under all that pressure....sometimes its better for women to do COB because its a different environment. Best of luck. And remember, its not about "playing a game", its about making friends, life long friends, and they may or may not be in a sorority for your daughter. Letters mean absolutely nothing if you don't sincerely love to be with your sisters. |
Quote:
If she's at a Big 10 school and got cut out, I'd suggest she look at COB, and accept that she's going into a lower tier house. If she's all that, she'll be able to make an impact on the chapter immediately. |
I have two daughters - does my opinion get to count?
I agree that there is something missing - getting cut from ALL the houses (getting cut; not deciding that some houses simply weren't "worthy" of her attention) is rare. Unless you were in the room at recruitment, you have only your daughter's word as to how she acted. She knows her perceptions - but not those of the chapters. Yes, she should COB. It may be that she is simply one of those girls who does not do well during formal recruitment. |
I hope her daughter can work it out. I think the Greek systems are suffering a bit in the Big 10, so it would be a shame to lose a quality candidate because she didn't fully understand the process or her "tone." But I still think I'd press the daughter to admit she wasn't actually cut from every single chapter and there ARE chapters who might be willing to accept her. Even small houses on these campuses have a lot to offer, and for the umpteenth time, 1 new member class changes the membership by approximately 25%. Join that small house and get your friends to join too. You can be a top tier house within 4 years.
|
I will find out in 12 days whether I'm going to have a daughter or a son... not sure if I'm "qualified" to make a statement or not.
You're not with your daughter 24-7. You weren't there at recruitment. Kids can act pretty damn different when not in front of their parents. Maybe she was a total biatch. Maybe she was making out with some other girl's boyfriend on top of the bar at XYZ fraternity the day before recruitment started. Or maybe even making out with another girl on top of the bar (yep, seen that one happen, too. What mom would believe her daughter would do that? Very few. But it happens). We don't know. But there could be a very good chance your daughter did something to make herself look bad during or right before recruitment. Or maybe she just didn't stand out at all (probably the more likely choice, but you never kow). |
KKGDGMom, I'm sorry your daughter is hurt and disappointed. I understand why you are feeling the same way for her.
Obviously I was not there but more importantly please keep in mind you were not there either. You do not know how well she did or didn't relate to the actives during the parties, nor do you know what happened during the membership selection meetings. Your daughter may be an amazing young woman, but maybe that didn't shine through. Some possible explanations: Quote:
Quote:
As for why the in house legacy Chapter released her, it happens. Even that is no guarantee. Perhaps your older daughter simply didn't have enough "pull" with the other actives? I'm also wondering if the older sister invited her to campus to visit last year? This would have given the actives a better chance to get to know her. If she did visit and knew the actives, then perhaps they didn't feel she would fit in. Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Keep in mind, the goal of every Chapter is for every PNM to leave thinking the Chapter loved them. Nobody wants a PNM to feel she is not liked or wanted. Besides as said before, perhaps those actives who recruited her did like her and want her, but there were other PNMs who were liked/wanted more by the whole Chapter. Granted I don't know the membership selection process any other GLO besides my own, but it is safe to say it is a democratic process in that it is a majority decision. Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
|
Quote:
hijack - we need updated pictures of DD. /hijack |
Quote:
Listen, if you are a real person, I get that you're disappointed. Coming on a website and bitching about it, however, is not the answer. In fact, there's absolutely nothing you can do. Welcome to parenting college students. IF she indeed was cut from all of the chapters, and is a legacy to so many orgs, I'm assuming right now that she knowingly sabotaged herself. |
I'm not a mom, so I'm just asking this question. Moms, Do you ever prepare DD for disappointment?
"DD, even though you are an Elite Model, have a 10.0 on a 4.0 scale and are as sweet as can be, there might be chpaters at University of Wherever that may cut you. I still want you to try your best, and its not always that they don't want you, but the bottom line is that they might want someone more. We don't know if all of the girls that XYZ took were legacies too and were next door neighbors of sitting members. It may not work out the way we planned it -- recommendations and interviews with the executive counsels -- but this is preparing you for life. You might also not get into Harvard Law School. You might not get that job you want. And, like Elle Woods, you might get dumped by your BF when you think he is proposing. DD, life is full of disappointments and nobody is exempt." On the issue of knowing how 18 year old girls behave, here is a general observation. I'm at Pref last night, and the PNMs are lined up outside and I look at a room full of our beautiful members wearing their finest dresses -- CHEWING GUM. Time out! "Get rid of your f-ing gum" And, as girls walked in, my guess was 1/3 were also chewing gum. I also observed many PNMs leaning back in their chairs when talking to the girl that wanted to be paired with them, completely unaware that they body language showed disinterest, even though they might be interested. Ok, they are 18 years old. Finally, during the crying ceremony, I looked at one PNM sitting in her chair with her elbows on her knees and chin in her hands, obviously completely bored. Note to self, she is 18. Bottom line, I agree that you haven't any idea what she is doing when she is out of your sight. In fact, you say that she says she doesn't drink. She says! |
I was wondering when we'd have a psycho mom come on here during recruitment season.
She's a little late into recruitment season, but I guess better late than never :p |
With regards to the young lady who was cut at the Big 10 school..... certainly, I feel bad for her, unless it was that "one thing" that got her cut. Or maybe it was the pantyhose with the rhinestones....
|
[QUOTE=texas*princess;1846417]I was wondering when we'd have a psycho mom come on here during recruitment season.
She's a little late into recruitment season, but I guess better late than never :p Oh no, Ole' Miss hasn't yet begun! Prepare for cover. Helimoms are out there lurking. |
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:42 PM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.