..

So you're running around campus crying about how you were "screwed over"? I think you pretty much blew any future chances during recruitment. How disrespectful and tactless.

OP take that entitlement attitude elsewhere.

With RFM, if you ranked ABC first and you were on their first list, then you would have been an ABC. Point blank that's how it works. There was no screw up. I believe that your friends are being your friends and telling you what you want to hear. But it just isn't true. In a large, chapter they are just two votes, If you attended pref at ABC, then yes, they wanted you. However you may have been on the second or third list. Therefore once ABC fills its first list, you will be matched with your second choice unless their first list is filled. Then you will be matched with your third choice. That's how it works. I am sorry you are disappointed, but you need to pull it together and move on in a direction that will make you happy.

No. You did NOT get screwed over. Sorry. That's the fact, Jack.

If your campus is using RFM, there is NO WAY that you would have ended up with your "third choice" if your first OR second choice had you high enough on their bid list.

Reality check: you were not high enough on either of the first two sororities' bid lists to be extended a bid by either one. They were full before they came to your name on their list. Sorry Charlie. You can believe whatever you want to, but you were NOT present at membership selection or when the bid lists were filled out and turned in.

I do not think there is a conspiracy against you, so don't even go there.

ETA: IndianaSigKap - jinx! buy me a coke!

Sorry to tell you, but Bid Day went technically perfectly. Now please remember that if you were invited to pref round, then all three of those houses would have gladly welcomed you as a member. But they pref way more girls than they can offer bids to. Each house formulates a ranked list. Some girls automatically get a top spot--legacies, sister is in the house, daughter of high ranking alumni, those couple of girls that every chapter wants, etc.. Beyond that, the names get placed. I know that in my daughter's chapter there is a A list and a B list. Some of the favorite girls end up on the B list because the A list fills up quickly. Its not that the A list are the only names they want! No, lots of favorites are on the B list! Long story short, you may have been ranked higher up on the chapter that offered you a bid. It doesn't mean that your fave house didn't want you. They did, and Im sure many members were crushed when they didn't hear your name read aloud when the bid list was revealed. It happens all the time. Please be happy and grateful for the bid that you received. By the way, the general membership usually has NO IDEA how specific people are ranked or who dropped who!! What that active member told you was very inappropriate.

Good luck! Hey, you got into a sorority ! Be happy! Read the 'It gets Better" link!!

This is incorrect. It would make no difference where she ranked on #3's list IF she ranked #1 first and #1 had her ANYWHERE on their first list. She would be a #1 if she were anywhere on their first list and she had ranked them highest.

Of course, that doesn't change that the OP is completely incorrect that she "got screwed." Some #1 members either lied to save her feelings/their own discomfort or they didn't have accurate information.

My friends are in the PLEDGE class for that sorority. I have 5 friends that all pledged for that sorority and to this day each one of them tells me how they really wanted me and how girls they just met (who are already in that sorority) know who I am and always ask what happened to her? or oh "she dropped us" so actually, no, they're not saying it to "cheer me up"

So what exactly is it that you want strangers on the Internet to help you with?

Does your school offer COB during spring?

Hey, don't say "pledge FOR a sorority", just "pledge a sorority".

Sorry. This doesn't change things.

Your friends are New Members. They know zip about Membership Selection. Do you really think your friends are going to tell you anything different?

okay, im just going to forget about last years rush and go for it again and rush as a sophomore in the fall and hope for the best.

You said you transferred in last fall. A little confused - how will you still be a sophomore? And if you are at either UA or ASU, you need to know going in as a re-rusher that your chances of getting a bid are very very small. You weren't high enough on either the first list or second list for your top two choices this past fall. You'll be another year older. That generally does NOT improve the odds.

Think of it this way-if your top two choices didn't have you high enough on their bid list to get you this year, why on earth will they want you next year? Especially when you're rolling around trash-talking the sorority you got a bid from this year to any sister who will listen. You've dug yourself a very deep hole here.

So I take it that the OP depledged? Did she mention that somewhere and I missed it? If she did not, then surely she must be initiated by now, in which case, she MAY NOT join another NPC sorority.

I'm guessing this is deferred recruitment, in which case initiation probably isn't until March-ish

Well her post (which has been deleted - but was qfp'ed) said that she rushed in the fall after transferring. Her location says Arizona and all three public universities in Arizona have formal recruitment in the fall. The fourth is Embry-Riddle with only 2 chapters, so doesn't remotely fit the profile.

That says it all. Which means they have NO idea what went on during the recruitment process on the "active" side. Your friends may tell you the actives know you, they my even think you "dropped" them, but the truth is they know nothing. With RFM, they had to have filled their quota before your number came up. If they wanted you sooooo bad you would have been on the top of their bid list which would have placed you in their house. I think you need to pull your head out of your butt and realize you were not screwed. You were just not their first choice. Does it suck? Yes, but you have no choice but to get over it. You were another house's first choice and in my mind you screwed them over by not even giving them a choice. So now two houses didn't want you, one did but you told them to take a hike so you will go into your next recruitment down three house. Good luck with that.

Ding ding ding!

This x 1,000

For the love of pete, my 8 year old sounds more mature when she pitches a fit about something.

lillyluv, you sound like an entitled child. Your friends who are in the most recent pledge class from this past fall know diddly squat about what was discussed during recruitment.

#1 and #2 might have really liked you. They just liked a lot of other girls MORE. And all those girls liked them MORE than their other options too. That's why you didn't get a bid. And very few members REALLY know what was discussed and why you were so low on their lists. If you were dead set against #3, you shouldn't have put them on your pref card at all.

By all means, go through it again in the fall. Get your grades and recs in order. But don't expect a better outcome. You'll be at a huge disadvantage, so if you really want a chance at sisterhood, be willing and happy to accept a bid anywhere. If you're not, then don't sign a pref card.

Oh my gosh. 1. The OP is clearly not accepting the facts and moving on 2. I'm going to get some popcorn. Can't wait to see how it turns out during next recruitment for the OP.

Btw I'm glad someone QFP'd

Whoops, that's what I get for skimming. I'll keep my mouth shut and enjoy the show.

If she is at U of A she can only pref 2 houses, not 3. So many whine about "top" when ALL of the houses are huge and have much diversity. Each house is a home.
So many girls received bids to houses and didn't show up to bid day. My daughter was appalled at many girls behavior.
Active go through a lot of work. They have feelings too. Many were hurt by the rejection (immature whiners) of the PMN's.
This one needs to reconsider what a sorority is for. She hurt feelings by not showing up for bid day and giving a try. Shame on her!

Beyond her friends being NM's...in many chapters, the final bid list is only seen by a very small number of people. I don't want to get into MS, obviously, but as an example, the active members are unlikely to all see every PNM's GPA or see how that factors into bid list preparation. So many of the women in the chapter could have thought the OP was really a sure thing, but none of them really know where she was. The bottom line is that she wasn't high enough on 1 or 2's list to get a bid.

Maybe someone behind the scenes "accidentally" erased her from the Bid List. Of course, that never really happens, but maybe she should have her friends ask what went on during MS, just to be sure.

I try not to be mean, but sometimes....

Under the OP''s version, she would have had to have been erased from two chapters. Not likely at all.

YES!!

OP - the first thing you need to know about the recruitment process is that it is complicated and that 99% of ACTIVE members do not understand the inner workings of the RFM process.

Plus, with highly selective chapters, they will probably have whole pref parties full of women whom they ADORE. I don't doubt that actives in your dream chapter really did love you and lobby for you and assumed that you chose to go elsewhere when they didn't see you in their pledge class.

While the membership selection process is private and secret to each individual chapter, I feel confident in saying (from years of seeing the same things being said by actives of all chapters) that most active members never know the detailed order of bid lists of their own chapters - they simply DO NOT KNOW where you were on the bid lists. They only know that they really loved you and wanted you.

Last thing, which I've said in other forums before. The difference between carried to the next round and released, or pledged and not pledged, can be razor thin between PNMs. There is an arbitrary cut-off that is assigned by Panhellenic (not by the chapter), and that often means that there is no statistical difference between how much a chapter liked the last woman invited and the first woman released.

I'm sorry you're so upset by the whole process, but you need to put your big girl underwear on now and learn to deal with disappointment in a mature way. This is life, girl.

If that were the case, it's highly unlikely that the average active would have any idea about it.

**IF*** anything happened, it most likely would have been a computer input error, and only an advisor or Panhellenic would be able to go back and double-check.

That being said, I'd bet money that this wasn't the case.

As others have already explained, there was no mistake. You were at pref for your favorite two chapters (that alone means they did like you and could see you as a potential sister,) so you WERE on their respective bid lists. The question is what ranked number you were on each list. If you were number one, five, ten, etc. you would have matched and gotten a bid. Unfortunately you were on the lower end for each chapter and other girls matched ahead of you. If your favorite chapters each have 40 new members, then each one of those girls matched ahead of you.

Will you have success if you rerush? No one here can tell you that. You can certainly try. In your favor, you now have more friends in each chapter. To your detriment, you will be another year older and will now have a track record of not accepting a bid from a chapter that was on your pref card. Improving your grades, clubs, activities, and volunteer work might help you out.

In the future, do NOT put a chapter on your pref card if you have no intention of joining it.

This. By putting the third chapter on her list, OP took a bid from another PNM who probably actually wanted that third chapter. And that is also another reason why it looks bad that you declined the bid.

Look forward to reading the thread from you next year, when you were totally screwed over by the whole Greek system because you didn't get another bid.

[QUOTE=LAblondeGPhi;2262435]YES!!

OP - the first thing you need to know about the recruitment process is that it is complicated and that 99% of ACTIVE members do not understand the inner workings of the RFM process.

Plus, with highly selective chapters, they will probably have whole pref parties full of women whom they ADORE. I don't doubt that actives in your dream chapter really did love you and lobby for you and assumed that you chose to go elsewhere when they didn't see you in their pledge class.

While the membership selection process is private and secret to each individual chapter, I feel confident in saying (from years of seeing the same things being said by actives of all chapters) that most active members never know the detailed order of bid lists of their own chapters - they simply DO NOT KNOW where you were on the bid lists. They only know that they really loved you and wanted you.

Last thing, which I've said in other forums before. The difference between carried to the next round and released, or pledged and not pledged, can be razor thin between PNMs. There is an arbitrary cut-off that is assigned by Panhellenic (not by the chapter), and that often means that there is no statistical difference between how much a chapter liked the last woman invited and the first woman released.

I'm sorry you're so upset by the whole process, but you need to put your big girl underwear on now and learn to deal with disappointment in a mature way. This is life, girl.
[QUOTE]

This is spot on information and written in a way any one can understand it. There are very few actives or alumna members who understand RFM.

But her roommate's best friend's lab partner told her that if she didn't list all 3 chapters that she preffed, the system would automatically kick her out!

it does happen!
 

Unfortunately that is EXACTLY what my niece was told just this weekend during recruitment at UT. And so she listed a 3rd choice that she really did not have an interest in. And got that choice and walked away. I am so upset with her for not giving this precious chapter a chance and so upset with the process that doesn't make this clear to the PNM. It sucked for everyone.

I wonder if the OP went/will be going through recruitment again this fall?

I say went/will be because UA finished recruitment already and ASU/NAU start pretty quick here. I think ASU started tonight or starts tomorrow night.

Everyone says "maximize your options and you'll get a bid to one of the organizations you preffed " BUT here's a question:

If you were only invited to one pref and attended it, but that org puts you low on the list, then what?
Do you get a bid because you DID maximize your options? Does the order of the list trump that? Does the system recognized that you only had 1 pref invite and match it automatically, even if you're low?

Yes, you will automatically get a bid from the one chapter you were invited to and listed. If you're too low on the list to match normally you'll be added as a quota addition. Obviously a PNM won't know where she falls on the list but the end result is she will get a bid.

Had your niece not listed this 3rd choice chapter, she would have gotten a phone call that she had been released from recruitment. The process worked for her. She got a bid. I saw a few girls outside of HOGG on Monday who I was down right embarrassed for. Girls who had cards in their hands and walked away. They will never experience bid day even if they change their mind and take their bid (which by the way your niece can still do) Girls who were with THEIR MOTHERS and still walked away. I guess closed mindedness is a taught skill. Really really sad.

It is so sad. Sometimes it is the mother that can't accept that their daughter did not get a sorority that the mother considers good enough. In the not so distant past, I witnessed a mother removing her daughter from bid day activities at UT, after the daughter was already wearing her bid day t-shirt. Can you imagine the pain that daughter felt? Disgusting behavior by a grown woman. Yet another example of the brutality of recruitment at Texas.

:eek: