Most Important Words of Advice
 

I'm psyching myself up to write a bunch of recs and so I'm thinking about recruitment. We may not need this as a separate thread since we've got so many others, but I was thinking it might be fun to compose a list of each of our top piece of advice that we'd have PNMs follow, even if we know it's practically impossible.

Mine would be:

Try your best to like all of the chapters as much as you can.

Let's see...don't pay attention to the other PNMs, who may appear gorgeous and self-assured. You could end up with a bid and they may not. You never, ever know.

Don't make rash decisions (i.e. dropping out) when your emotions are running amok. See the process through, no matter what. Give the chapters who invited you back a chance to show you what they are about. Scores of people have had their minds changed by groups later on in the week. You don't have to sign the card following pref, so nothing is lost by completing the process.

Recruitment is a lot like dating. Sometimes the flashy charming guy who makes a great first impression and all the girls love isn't the right one for a long term relationship.

YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT
 

No matter what you think that you will know will happen, YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT.

SORRY, SISTA YOUR CRYSTAL BALL AND EVERYONE ELSE'S IS BROKE.
I don't care what people have told you and how much you have read, even on GREEKCHAT...YOU CAN'T PREDICT THE FUTURE.

This why I encourage women to stick it out at all phases.

That wicked ass bitch, you know the one who is nice once every 28 days?
She could end up being your being your best friend.
You just DON'T KNOW.
That one moment when you are at your lowest, when you least expect it, she will clean off your puke-ridden comforter, take care of you and get you to bed with the towels that she found in your closet.
She will console a broken heart, shattered dreams; encouraging to you put your big girl panties, hold your chin high and show the world that you can and will kick ass!

Or maybe she won't. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW.

^^^ awesome

1. keep your mind open. Not all chapters excel during formal recruitment.

2. remember that you are only meeting a small % of the sisters, if the chapter is huge, YOU WILL find someone you mesh with.

3. ignore the recruitment gossip. I know easier said than done but why would you base a life decision on what other 18 year old girls are saying?

4. complete the recruitment process. dropping out because you think you didn't get a "top" house is selfish. Think of all the girls who were completely dropped from recruitment, they would KILL to be in your spot!

5. don't come onto greekchat asking us "what are my chances". we can't tell you that. we don't even know you. plus, we cannot share our membership selection practices.

My most important piece of advice is call or text your mother daily, especially right after you get a bid.

^^^ Like! Like! Like!

See the process through until the end.

1. If you do not connect with one girl in the Chapter she is just that, 1 girl. There are probably 50 more you will connect with.

2. A lot of stuff you hear during recruitment about Chapters is JUST NOT TRUE! I even hear stuff about my own Chapter that is just false.

3. If you don't like a group please do not be rude or unkind. Mind your manners.

4. Take the process all the way until the end. If you don't like the Chapters your preferencing go through the process you might change your mind and you might not. You really have nothing to loose.

5. If you get to the end of the process and you can not see yourself in any of the Chapters you have left DO NOT SIGN YOUR BID CARD. If you get to the end of the process and you only want one chapter ONLY PUT THAT CHAPTER DOWN.

Don't panic and carry a towel.

On that note? I met a girl on my freshman hall that I absolutely hated. And, she hated me. I rushed and pledged first semester that year, and she rushed the spring semester. She saw me at a rush event and almost didn't stop by, simply because of me. Yadda yadda, she became my little. I still, about 15 years later, consider her one of my best friends, even though we see each other only once every 2 years or so. :)

That's really funny. You never know!

If you don't fall in love with the chapter that gives you a bid, "find your home", or know deep in your heart that you ended up in the place you were meant to be at the end of the week, don't give up. Formal recruitment is a very superficial and artificial week. You haven't really gotten to know the sisters in your new sorority. Give it some time and real effort. You won't regret it, but you probably will if you quit without even giving it a shot.

Go in with the attitude of not caring who invites you back after the first two rounds. Even if you have favorites after round one (which you really shouldn't), tell yourself you don't care if they drop you. Just be grateful for any invites you get back!

Try try try to live in the moment. We have all gotten so used to having a conversation while texting while watching TV while eating dinner that it can be hard to do just one thing at a time, but this is the time to get rid of everything in the world except that one girl you are talking to right at this moment.

For every negative you come up with (or hear) try to find a positive. Each house has something great to offer.

And this is your recrutiment, no one else's (not your moms, your sisters, your bff, your roomates or your brother's girlfriend's cousin's half sisters). Listening to your instincts is the most important.

Take stock in who you are. It's ok not to be or be comfortable with the perfectly polished girl in the "top tier" that "everyone" else wants.

Trust your Recruitment Counselor, especially if you aren't familiar with the recruitment process.

Sigh. I wish this were good advice, but SO MANY RC's get SO MUCH wrong.

Something I learned first-hand: don't judge the other girls in your Gamma Chi/Rho Chi group by their covers. For all you know, one or more of them could be your sister(s) by the end of the week. And also some of the most amazing people ever.

One girl in my group who I knew tangentially through others not only ended up joining the same sorority as me, but also eventually ended up in the same pledge family! My first impressions of her were definitely wrong and I am so happy to call her my sister and close friend today.

Yep, it appears common enough on GC that recruitment counselors either give out incorrect advice or that the PNMs don't understand what they are told.

Mine was extremely helpful. But that was back in the day...

Perhaps all incoming freshman women should be told, "We've done away with RCs, they never know what they're doing anyway. Go read Greekchat, those people are awesome and knowledgeable. You'll do fine." ;)

Can you imagine what that would lead to? :eek:

My RC was very helpful too. Most probably are.

But if the people posting here are accurately reporting what they were told, there are a bunch of campuses not following NPC guidelines and/or a significant number of RCs who give people wrong advice about how bid matching works, the consequences of ISP (is it Intentional Single Preference or Single Intentional Preference SIP for "suiciding" these days?) or the conditions under which you're eligible for COB or snap bids.

Fortunately, I think a relatively small percentage of PNMs are ever affected negatively. But you would have no way of knowing if you were one of them until after you listed a chapter you didn't want on your bid card because you'd been told that maximizing your options gave you a better shot at your top group. Ugh.

Treat every girl you meet very nicely-- the girls in your Gamma Chi group, your Gamma Chi(s), every active you meet, and anybody else for that matter! You have no idea where you or anybody else will end up.

Do not speak poorly of houses or treat houses poorly.

Be open to all houses. Every chapter has something amazing to offer.

When in doubt, don't drop out. I know a lot of girls who were shell-shocked after big cuts or became surly after losing their early favorites who regretted making a rash decision.

Relax. Enjoy the opportunity to meet so many exceptional women.

Start fresh at each round.

On pref night, tell the house you like, that you like them. this is not the time to play hard to get.

We want you to go Greek, no matter what the letters.

It will enrich your college years and give you wonderful mentors in the years to come. You will grow in so many ways...whether you are the "superstar PNM" who wins Homecoming Queen thanks to the campaigning of her sisters or the shy smart girl who needed the quiet support of her sisters to have the confidance to take the MCAT or LSAT.

And, stay involved beyond your college days... whether it is by paying national alumnae dues, working with your Alumnae Panhellenic Chapter, or being a chapter adviser or national officer. Some (most) of my best friends are women that I have met through my alumna experience.

Quit listening to all those people who say "look around at the girls at pref, those are the girls who will be in your pledge class and who will be your closest sisters!"

Your sorority is NOT just the girls in your pledge class, unless you choose to be very lazy and make it so. This is especially true of smaller chapters. In a chapter under 80 or so, your pledge class doesn't mean squat in the long run, after your pledgeship is over. Look at them, yes, but don't let either awesome or sucky rushees standing next to you at pref make your decision for you.

I think this bad advice is what makes people come on here all freaked out that they aren't bonding with their class.

Hahahaha! LOLOL! Oh my gosh, we are rolling on the floor over here.

In the words of Mick Jagger -

"You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes
well you might find
You get what you need "

My 2 cents...
 

Be nice to your Rho Gammas. Don't speak badly about any sorority towards them. It is okay to talk with them about having a tough time or being upset generally with your schedule, but don't say anything mean about any house. In a perfect world, you could be less filtered and say what you want. But it isn't a perfect world, and you never know how seriously they take disaffiliaton. So don't shoot yourself in the foot.

Also, leggings are not pants.

Hell, some of my closest friends from my chapter are not even women I was close with IN COLLEGE.

No doubt. I think that the advice "to trust your recruitment counselor" is still a little complicated since in some ways, we might as well say, trust what you believe that your RC has told you even though you completely misunderstood.

I do think that most RC are probably good, informed, caring folks, and a PNM would be better off with RC advice than that of a lot of other sources they'd be likely to consult.

The one thing I can say is DON'T QUIT! My top choice dropped me right before pref when I went through recruitment last year and I thank the Lord that they did. I know now that they are not the house for me and I ended up exactly where I was supposed to. It's true that when a door closes, a window opens.