University of Texas Bid Day
 

Hey, longhorns - a friend who has a daughter going through recruitment this year has heard that moms come to bid day - is that the case?

Yes...I know of several Moms who were there last year. Both legacy and non-legacy Moms. It was that way in the 80's too. Not sure if it varies from chapter to chapter, but I know several are there.

Some mothers come but they're in the minority and many are legacy moms. It definitely isn't like the places in the south where there's a big party with moms and other family members welcome and encouraged to come. The time spent at the house on bid day is minimal, with the chapters taking their new members elsewhere for fun. Moms are definitely not invited to those activities so if you're from far away it's a long trip for a short period of time. It can get a little awkward if your mom doesn't get it.

This is what my friend wrote:

"When we were at Orientation the other week a friend of mine was told that all the moms go to bid day to take pictures. And if you weren’t there your daughter would be the only one without her mom. I find this hard to believe but wanted to check with the pro’s to see if you knew anyone at UT and if this was true. I would not want (daughter) to be the ONLY one/"






Does it vary widely? I'm thinking the person saying this may have a daughter in one of the houses that is big on it - or maybe it's just a "take a picture" thing, and then they go?

Will she be the only one? Absolutely not.

Do lots of Moms from Dallas, Houston, SA, etc... come to some of the houses? Definitely yes. There were dads, aunts, sisters there too.

Do they have a big family-style dinner like some of the Alabama (or other big school) houses? Definitely No. (unless that's changed, but based on what LL said...no)

Does it vary widely by chapter? Probably. My personal experience is coming off of a few chapters, but it was definitely a majority in terms of parents vs. non. However, there is SO much going on that day, that it's not like the NM will be sitting in a corner pouting to herself! She'll be in the photos that the moms and actives (and photographer) are taking!

ETA: I can ask my friends who were there last year (for nieces and daughters of theirs) and find out for sure on the meal/party thing, but I'm going with what LL said on a big no for that one!

This sounds like maybe moms come "for their daughter" but when all the chapters leave the houses, the moms repair to the nearest alcoholic establishment together to say "thank God this is over" with a tequila shot or two.

As a UT sorority alumna, mom of a recent UT sorority grad and current advisor to my chapter at UT, I just wanted to confirm the answers above. I can't speak for all chapters at UT, but some moms and other family members attend (I did), along with local alumnae, to greet the new member class and take pictures. While our chapter welcomes family members on bid day, there is no formal meal or activities planned for them.

Hahaha! This is totally the case!

Hilarious! This is very, very true!!
My daughter went through recruitment 2 years ago and I went..mostly to be supportive to her if she needed me. Once bids are given out, the new members go to their respective houses and the moms or whomever go there too. We were given a house tour and refreshments and then left. I know that most of the chapters have bid day activites planned for the girls....this would be the time mom needs to head over to Ables and start drinking..lol

Don't know quite where this fits so I'll put it here. Word on the street is that UT is expecting between 1300 and 1400 going through recruitment this year. A MAJOR increase over the past few years. Hope it comes true! If indeed it is the case, there will be some big pledge classes. I know chapter total went up this year so it appears to me the Greek Life is on the move.

I have several friends whose daughters rushed UT last year and the year before, and all of them came up for the entire week. I presume they helped them get ready and then gave them a sounding block when they got home, calmed their nerves, made sure they were properly nourished, and enjoyed the mother/daughter bonding. Most said it was the most stressful week of their lives -haha. I also saw tons of moms' photos of bid day on facebook, so I would say, yes, not only do moms come for bid day, but for the entire rush week as well.

Seriously?

Sounds heli-mom ish. What happened to just calling at the end of the night? And I'm guessing an 18 year old knows how to feed herself. Showing up for bid day to take some pictures and congratulate is one thing, but staying the week sounds like overkill in my opinion.

It's in case they drop out or are released....need mama there.

Wow I can't imagine going and staying for the whole week of recruitment. Those are some really nice moms! I just hope to hear from my D during the week.

Interesting.

I think I'd trust the answers provided by the regulars here instead of the person who signed up to make one post about what their friends were supposedly doing.

I have heard of people staying the week in Baton Rouge for LSU rush and since UT sounds 10 times more competative, I can believe that some moms would do this.

I think I remember some recruitment stories from moms last year that were there all week.

They do in Auburn. I've known numerous moms that went there either for the whole week or once the big cuts happened after second parties.

I have a really good friend who went for the week when her daughter rushed at another Texas school. She was able to stay in her mother's hotel room each night and talk to her about what she thought about each chapter, instead of going back to the dorm and listening to what the other girls thought. She truly was able to keep an open mind throughout the week and followed her heart at the end. In this case, the mother had to be in that town for the week for something eles, so it worked out.
I have not heard of mother's staying for the week at UT, however, I'm sure it happens. I would say that there were approx 30% of the mom's there on Bid Day my daughter's year (2010). I'm wondering if the percentage of mom's going for Bid Day and beyond is growing since the numbers of PNM's going through recruitment is growing?

I do know that it is very common for the whole family to go for Bid Day at OU and OSU and there are alot of girls from Texas that go to Oklahoma schools. Maybe the Texas mom's are taking a cue from thier Oklahoma friends since they go through recruitment a full week before the Texas girls do.

I think you might have something there! I actually know a couple of parents that spent most of the week at OU last year. And all of my friends with girls at both schools attended bid days at OU and OSU last year. It is actually a big family event. I enjoyed seeing all the pictures of the happy faces last year!

I have two really good friends whose daughters rushed at OU and OSU the year my daughter did and they told me about all of the families that were there...that's how I knew that parents went to Bid Day..so I went at UT and I am sooo glad I did! It is not the family affair at UT like it is in Oklahoma, but it is really fun to see the houses and all of the (mostly) happy girls!

Edited to add that OSU's Bid Day was on Saturday that year so more families could go. UT's bid day is on a Tuesday which makes it more difficult for some parents to come due to work.

Yes, seriously. And you say "heli-mom" as if it's a bad thing? :D When you live in Houston, you'll use any excuse you can to come to Austin! Even in August! And I was kidding about keeping them nourished. :rolleyes:

Wow Greek or Geek, that was harsh. I didn't sign up to make one post. I signed up and then happened to stumble on this question. I didn't presume my friends came up for the entire week; they did - 6 of them (that I know of) because I live in Austin and met them downtown. I only presumed what they did with their daughters during that week. So I'll also presume that they went to lunch at Hula Hut, Abel's, Chuy's and drank beer-garitas at Cuatros. I'm not saying all moms do this, I'm just saying that's what some moms do.

Goodgrief...I can promise you that they NEEDED to drink at ALL of those locations to survive the week!! It's hell!:D

I love Austin too...in fact, Ill be there for much of the recruitment week working in the kitchen at my daughter's chapter..it's great fun! :)

I just can't fathom the thought of my mom being there during recruitment. College was my first taste of independence and the life lessons that come along with that, i.e. a stressful, draining situation (recruitment). Not to mention that my mom has a career; I wouldn't think of asking her to take a week off of work to be with me for something like recruitment.

(Not taking a dig at anyone personally, just my opinion).

I agree...and this was something that was common BEFORE the rise of the heli-parent. It's probably because (very broadly speaking) so much more of a girl's future hinges on what sorority she pledges at these schools, in this region...if that makes sense. It's not just your college life this is going to affect, it's your WHOLE life.

While I don't plan on being at D's College for recruitment this fall, I am sure I will be hitting up some local happy hours with other mom friends during the week :)

You are 100% correct 33girl..the difference is the level of competitiveness at UT or anywhere in the SEC. I'm sure it would be hard to imagine at certain schools, such as those where recs are not needed or unheard of...the two go hand in hand.

At OSU, family members are asked to be on campus the morning of Bid Day. They actually find out which chapter will be offering their daughter a bid before the girls do. The family then walks to their daughter's new home away from home to meet the other parents and wait for the girls to arrive. The girls literally run from campus to Greek row screaming, chanting, and crying to greet their new sisters and families (check out "the running of the girls" on YouTube for an old, but funny look at this OSU tradition). Formal and informal pictures are taken, house tours are given, and a parents meeting is held. While parents are asked to assist and attend meetings on move-in day, no one was encouraged to stay in town for the week, in fact, the girls are so busy they often are not able to call until 11-12 at night, and are exhausted to boot. Panhellenic is great about keeping the parents informed throughout the week in daily emails as well.

WTF? Don't they just then text their daughters with the news?

Nope. If I remember right, they don't have their phones. Somewhat nerve wracking as a parent too, that morning you get up, drive from your home to Stillwater, having no idea if your daughter has been offered a bid until you get there, and check the lists. May be why some, especially those from out of state, may stay the week.

That's correct..the girls don't have thier phones so parents can't text or call them. In fact, Im pretty sure they don't have thier phones until later, after they have attended all of thier parties for the day. I remember this because my really good friend's daughter was the first out of all of my friends daughter's to rush and we were all on pins and needles everyday waiting to hear from her. OSU goes through recruitment a good week and a half before most of the Texas schools...so she was our trailblazer that year..lol..

UT on the other hand allows phones throughout the process and my daughter often called me in between parties if she had time...Im not sure which is worse...lol

What if the parents don't know the girl is going through rush?
What if the girl isn't on good terms with her parents?
I certainly hope providing your parents' contact info isn't a prerequisite to going through rush. This sounds extremely intrusive, not to mention infantilizing.

I agree with all of this.
It's the girl's rush, not her parents'. I have no idea how this practice came to be, but if it were ever suggested at a school where I was advising, I would do everything in my power to keep it from coming to fruition.

Begin heli-parenting and university response to heli-parenting rant...
I remember when universities considered themselves the stepping stone between being under a parent's thumb and being thrown to the wolves of the adult world. They allowed students to make mistakes and face consequences, they allowed students to find their own paths, they allowed students to decide whether to succeed or to fail. And now, in part (I think) due to the increase in heli-parenting, institutions have gotten soft. It's becoming a cycle that's hard to break. Early on in the heli-parenting years, it was relatively easy as a professor to say to a parent, "Your daughter is the one whose grade is on the line - I'd be happy to have this conversation with her. But I can't have it with you." Now, universities are too worried about not getting phone calls from irate parents to support their faculty in upholding FERPA. And now that parents are used to being overly-involved, it's only becoming more prevalent.

Let our kids grow up. Let them make their own decisions. For crying out loud, let our daughters be the first to find out which sorority has offered them membership. This just really baffles me.

Like.

I was horrified when my friend had to jump through hoops to get the administration at her freshman daughter's school to evict her roomate's mom from their dorm room. The mother had been sleeping on the floor for over three weeks to help her daughter adjust to college life. It's a small religious college and both my friend and her husband are notable alums, not some big bad faceless state school. They were continually told to be patient and it was only when they threatened to pull their daughter out of school and discontinue some major financial support that the administration finally forced mom out of the room.

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

(Repeat the above about a hundred times)

My question is...how on earth did this not make the daughter a complete pariah?? That's what I don't get, that other members of the child's peer group find this behavior acceptable rather than continually ragging on the kid, which is what would have happened in my generation.

I don't know what her peers' reactions were, but given the things I've seen done in the name of good parenting among the parents of the collegians I work with, it wouldn't surprise me if many didn't even blink an eye. I definitely agree that had this happened in my generation, the girl would have received a nickname that would have stuck through her entire college career.

I'm curious as to how a school entity can legally release information about an 18-year-old adult student to her parents? Do they sign some kind of waiver?

I can answer those questions for Auburn. I made my kids do all application paperwork and make all contact with their universities because it is their college, not mine. After my daughter's orientation, she said something about not knowing when the health form was due and asked me to call admissions. I restated my policy and told her they can't talk to me about her information (or grades or anything else) anyway because she is 18. She said, "Yes you can. They had us all sign permission forms at orientation." I was shocked. The pamphlets she received clearly said that if you are caught with alcohol and under the age of 21, your parents would be called. Whatever happened to them being adults?