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The scenario you are asking about DID happen to me. PNMs go to 2 parties on Pref night, and I only got invited by 2 sororities - one that I really wanted, and one that I would have rather not gone Greek than joined. In fact, I had cut them earlier in the week and didn't even go to the second round at that house. But unfortunately for them, their numbers are WAAAAAY down and they basically invite back everyone. So for the third round, they invited me back even though I had cut them. Well, that round, you go to 3 parties, and only 3 sororities invited me back, including them.
I do admit, I was pretty heartbroken about having to go to a Pref I didn't want to go to. So I ended up suiciding. It worked out well and I am in the organization I wanted, so I suppose in that case I was not penalized for suidiciding. If I had suicided and not gotten a bid from my desired sorority, the other one probably still would have tried to snap bid me, once again b/c their numbers are down and they snap bid every girl who does not get a bid through formal recruitment. (This organization is in danger of losing their charter if they don't get numbers up, so they are justified in their actions I guess.)
When I told my Rho Chi that I was going to suicide, she tried to convince me not to. She said I ran the risk of not getting a bid at all, and that sometimes it makes you look bad to the sorority you want to suicide. That I have found is not true, at least for my organization, b/c the only person who may know if a girl suicided is our recruitment chair and our general advisor.
My advice to any girl put in this similar situation to do what you feel would make you the happiest. But if you do go to a pref that you don't want to go to, at least hear those girls out, give them a chance, and above all be polite. I am now friends with several of the girls in the sorority I didn't want to join, but if I had been rude in any way, they may still hold a grudge to this day. (And ironically - I know this sounds bad - but the girl who took me through Pref there ended up supplying me with a fake ID a year and a half down the road.) I guess to sum up, suicide if you want, but try not to burn any bridges.
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