[shadokat]

Do you keep in touch with your chapter brothers or sisters? Yes, there is a group of about 8 of us who talk regularly and on occasion have dinner, etc. We were in each other's weddings and all of those life events. A couple of years ago we went to see Hootie and the Blowfish, as we're all 90s college students, and it was AMAZING

Do you belong to an Alumnae Association? For a hot second, yes. But it was so disorganized with only a couple of people actually doing anything. I left after a couple of months.

Do you hold any offices? I volunteered with my organization for a very long time and held national offices. In the late 2000's and early 2010's, our organization moved to a model of being more staff run than volunteer driven, and this alienated A LOT of national volunteers, myself included. I remained as a chapter advisor and then assisted with and advised a new chapter that opened in my area around 2015. After being smacked in the hand by IHQ more than once for trying to help the new chapter be successful, I had enough and bowed out. I do not miss it at all, but I do miss the amazing people I met through volunteering that I no longer am in touch with.

Do you keep track of your National's policies? I do, but I don't agree with all of them. For the record, I like the legacy policy and I do not have children who would benefit from such a policy. I just think it's a special thing for a mother/daughter/grandmother/etc. to share.

The gender stuff has been something I struggle with. Part of it is just lack of understanding of so many different designations, etc. Part of it is that I feel like a lot of this is just a way to grab more members and money. I joined a sorority because I wanted to be a part of a group of like-minded women. What I identify as like-minded is different today than it was in 1993 when I was initiated. I also believe that a lot of these policies are in place as a "look how progressive we are" type of thing. But when you look at the sorority as a whole, it's just not that big of an issue. And sadly, the weaker-recruiting chapters are the ones who are taking these policies more seriously. For instance, you wouldn't dare see a chapter at Georgia or Alabama or Florida taking transgender women. But little 20-member chapter in New Hampshire might be a totally different story. It's all just sort of confusing to me.

Have you ever considered deactivating due to a change in any of these? I never considered resigning my membership over polices. I did consider resigning when so many of our volunteers were pushed out of the picture for a more staff-run organization. But at the end of the day, my sisters are why I joined this group and why I stay connected to DPhiE. Nothing the national organization does can take away those relationships.