As an alumnae chapter president that just helped my alumnae chapter struggle through reestablishing a good relationship with our collegians, I can offer some good advice (I hope!).
Elect or appoint a Collegiate Liason and ask the chapter to do elect or appoint an Alumnae Relations chairperson. Most fraternities have this position defined as part of either the executive or programming boards. Have these two members work together to open the lines of communication. Work with the collegian to schedule some activities with the alumnae chapter - I would say no more than one or two per semester. That way the alumnae and collegiate chapter still has plenty of time for their own events. Make sure to include the chapter on your mailings/announcements. Make them feel a part of your chapter and they will do the same.
Start doing little things for the chapter - the Alumnae Liaison can provide the alumnae with an event calendar. Send flowers or cookies to the chapter as 'good luck' gifts before a special event (dance competition, etc.). Plan annual events for graduating seniors, plan an annual fundraiser that actually does something nice for the college chapter. Make sure the chapter knows that you (the alumnae) want to be involved in their Founder's Day celebrations and would like to attend ritual. ASK the chapter what role they would like the alumnae to play and listen to them. Don't try and do too much too soon.
The advisors should be the only ones to chastise the chapter for not upholding proper decorum during ritual - it is their job to do so and the alumnae should have told the advisor of their displeasure and left it up to the advisor to handle the situation. The collegians probably do think that you want to run things..they are insecure as to your role. It is up to you to educate them on the role of the alumna - as a sister, as a strong supporter of the chapter and as a friend. Here are a few events that we hold annualy with our local collegiate chapter. In addition, we provide a full advisory board to the chapter (with their final vote of approval as per our bylaws). We have the Alumnae Liaison attend our planning events to schedule joint activities - one philanthropic and one social, each year. In addition, we celebrate Founder's day with them and the chapter hosts a Alumnae Appreciation dinner/Spring Initiation Banquet in the Spring.
Annual Events:
Pre-Rush Pool Party: held the Saturday before Rush begins. We provide lunch, desserts/snacks, a pool and music. It gives the chapter a break from Rush preparations and it shows our support for them.
Founder's Day: dinner and ritual at the chapter house
Goody Bag Fundraiser: At the beginning of each semester, we contact the parents of all members and offer to make a Finals Week Goody Bag for their daughters. We charge $15 and use the money as a donation to the ZTA Foundation. We deliver the bags to the chapter house the week before finals. The chapter knows we did the work for their parents and they LOVE it.
Senior Dinner: Held the last week before Finals, this event is for graduating seniors, advisors and the executive officers of the alumnae chapter. We have a wine & cheese hour followed by dinner. After dinner we perform our alumnae initiation service and present them with our graduation gifts. After dessert we usually sing or share stories of alumnae life.
Barbara
[This message has been edited by PnguinTrax (edited June 12, 2000).]
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