[honeychile]

This has to be one of the most difficult situations in sorority life. We once rushed a girl who half the chapter loved, the other hated. We pledged her. BIG MISTAKE!!! By the time she depledged, she had caused so much havoc (and tried to get the rest of the pledge class to leave with her), it ripped us apart. In one pledge period, we went from being the second or third largest sorority on campus to about 20 actives. There is NO pnm who is worth that much stress and aggravation!! (and I get to say that because I liked her - originally!). When I think of the amount of trouble it took us to claw our way back up...!!!!

As for the rush problem, there comes a time for that hard combination of tact & honesty: "Rhoda Rushee, we'd like to see you rush ALL the houses before you decide you'd like to join us." usually gets the point across. If you're cornered - she knows there's a COB event - you may want to tell her that you've extended "your" invitation (as if you only get one), or that you won't be there yourself. It depends on what you feel comfortable saying.

And if that doesn't work, well, that's where your wicked alumnae come into play. They can gently say, "Rhoda, we've enjoyed your company, but I'm afraid that, for reasons I cannot reveal, I don't want to see you waiting for a bid from us." And if she asks why, simply continue to repeat, "for reasons I cannot reveal" - as many times as it takes.