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Okay, let me see if I can clear a few things up. First, my chapter would never "pre-judge" someone. If a girl comes through recruitment, formal or otherwise, and we choose not to extend her a bid, THERE IS A VERY GOOD REASON WHY!!! It's not, "Oh, I didn't like her in high school b/c she stole my best friends boyfriend" or "I didn't like her shoes", its "She says she is more interested in XYZ" or "her GPA is a 2.3 and our requirement to stay off probation is a 2.5".
So here's a little scenario for you...Suzie Q decides to go through Spring Rush. She is invited to one of our social events...we vote. (different process than formal, which is why I can talk about it). If her GPA is not high enough, if she had NO community service in HS or did nothing (ie...2.5 GPA but no activities to speak of), she doesn't get a bid. If we don't know if she really wants to be a member we generally meet with her in a smaller enviornment (ie...4 or 5 of us go out to dinner with her). If we decide not to extend her a bid, more often than not, we'll tell her why. We are not being "two-faced" and its not all sunshine and roses. However, if I haul off and tell her that I don't like the way she dresses or that she acted like a henious b!tch, she'll probably then spread nasty rumors about my chapter and WE will suffer in the end. Guess what...hate to break it to you but that's what happens. Maybe it is different for other organizations/fraternites but we've had this same type of situation happen, unfortunatly. Plus I'm not so sure I could live with myself if I hurt someone's feelings like that.
Blaire
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