Quote:
Originally Posted by Zillini
This is probably going to come across as my being cold or heartless. Sure I'm sad for a PNM who doesn't get a bid at all or doesn't get her first choice. But you know what? Rejection is a part of life. I think maybe the bigger problem here is that society has gotten so concerned with protecting/promoting kids' self esteem that for many this is the first time they've ever faced failure or not gotten exactly what they wanted. If you don't learn that lesson at a young age, it's much harder to deal with when you are older. "Oh we don't keep score at our soccer games because everyone is a winner! Everyone gets a trophy just for showing up!"
Competition does not have to be an evil thing. Being rewarded for hard work or trying harder the next time or just not fitting in are things that all kids need to learn. Not getting what you want for whatever reason does not mean you are a bad person or that they are bad people for not wanting to give it to you. So if someone hasn't learned this lesson at age 18 or 19, maybe this is a good thing. How will they deal with rejection at age 22+ when they are 1 of 1,000 job applicants for only 10 entry level positions? Do employers need to provide counselors for the 990 who didn't get hired?
In the imortal words of the Rolling Stones: You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need.
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That's kind of how I felt about it as well. We explained to every woman in the general meeting that they weren't guaranteed a bid. If they had bad grades, there was next to no chance of getting one. And they might not get their first choice. If they can't handle the possibility of rejection they may want to try again at another time.
It's negative, yeah, but it's reality.
We're told not to encourage suiciding...personally I don't have a problem with it. I did it. But I did have a girl tell me after she got invited back to only two that she couldn't possibly take a bid from her second choice. I told her that yes, it was an option to put down only one sorority, but that she'd be dropped from recruitment if she didn't get matched up. She ended up deciding that she wanted to be in a sorority badly enough to think twice about her second choice...she got it and now loves it. And that's just the way it goes sometimes.
