[violetpretty]

This is why I think it's important for the women to open their bids in front of the Rho Gammas in private. The Rho Gamma can help her get over any disappointment and help her see the big picture.

Last year when I was a Rho Gamma, there was a girl who went to my high school who got her second choice on bid day. It was tough for her because her Rho Gamma was in her first choice chapter (she knew for a while), and she and her Rho Gamma got along really well. I sat down with her and her Rho Gamma and we talked about it. She cried, she wanted to make sure it wasn't a mistake (no), she asked me if it would have been different if she had suicided (she would have been unmatched), she asked me if she could go through in the fall (no), she asked what her chances would be like next spring (not so good---she was a sophomore at the time, so she'd be a junior). She liked her second choice, but she just needed to get over the initial shock.

Because of her class standing, my answer to her was basically, it's this chapter or no sorority at all. You can walk away now, you can walk away tomorrow, you can walk away after a couple weeks, or you can walk away right before you are about to be initiated. I told her she might as well stick it out and see if she can be happy there. She ended up going to bid day with a good attitude and is very active and happy in her chapter.

ETA: While I understand the sentiments of "well if you didn't want the chapter then don't put them on your pref card" or "you should be happy to get any chapter", like gee_ess said, it seems like the end of the world of a NM at that moment they see the second or third choice in their hands. There are tons of women who are initially disappointed, not so much that they don't like their second choice, but because they didn't get their first choice. Sometimes they just need to talk about it and it can really change their attitude for the better.