[aephi alum]

I was in just this situation in my very first rush from the other side. I think I've posted this story in the "Rushee from Hell" thread (or whatever it was called) from a while back.

A PNM came through rush (let's call her Susie) and really clicked with one of the sisters she talked to during first round. This girl felt Susie was a bit shy and quiet but otherwise would make a good sister, and encouraged us all to try to draw her out and rush her hard. OK so far.

During second round I was one of the "lucky" sisters who got to rush Susie. Within five minutes I realized she was not just shy, she was massively insecure, and she wanted the security of a guaranteed group of friends, and the popularity, especially with the guys, that she thought Greek letters on a shirt would bring her. She wanted the support of sisters, but didn't seem to want to be supportive in turn.

She was not invited to pref by any sorority.

A few weeks later, we held a COB rush, and every sister was asked to invite at least one PNM. The sister that Susie clicked with during first round, invited her. Susie showed up with the attitude that she was guaranteed a bid, "when do I get my first letters, when is initiation, etc" ... well, she was wrong.

I truly believe - especially having observed her over the next few years that we were in school together - that, had she pledged, she would have done considerably more harm than good.

If someone I wouldn't want as a sister approached me about a rec, or I learned she was going to a school where AEPhi has a chapter, I'd send off a no-rec. If someone I wouldn't want as a sister were to approach me about alum initiation, I have an easy out in that AEPhi doesn't do alum initiation... but if that changes (as I hope it will) I would simply tell them the proper procedure to follow, then alert the national office and local alum chapters to look out. But, it would take a LOT for me to take that sort of action... I trust my sisters to know who wouldn't make a good sister.