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well, this happened to me when i was a collegiate. there was a girl that i was friendly with who really really really wanted to be in my chapter. she had rushed the same time that i did and was not given a bid. the following year, she went through formal rush again. during each voting session, whether or not she should be invited back was the hot topic. she ended up being invited to every party. everyone knew her....everyone had seen things she had done (ie. lie to people, make up stories, etc. etc. etc) but some people were still friends with her. we did end up cutting her and i did feel badly, even tho i was one of the sisters who felt the strongest that she shouldn't be a sister. she never asked me or my roommate what happened. i know that she was devastated. but at the same time, i know that it was what was best for the chapter. she did cry to us, but all we said was that we were sorry that things worked out that way. afterwards, she would wear pink on our letter days. and she would say how she was a phi mu at heart even if she didn't get to pledge with us. it was kind of psycho, but it did let sisters know that we made the right decision.
one of my friends is an advisor. she told those women to "trust your sister." if a sister feels so strongly that someone should not be a memeber, then go with them! i guess this is my best advice. hopefully, you won't need to explain yourself! if you do know the person, i would have someone else break the news.
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