[PJS]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

I do know many women like you who still hurt from the disappointment of their sororities not giving their daughters a fair chance. And 10 or 20 years later, those raw feelings claw their way to the surface and the moms relive the hurt. Hugs to you PJS. I hope you and your daughters are doing well. It is good to see you back.

Originally Posted by owlsandkeys

You are definitely not alone. It is very normal to feel hurt (devastated, even) when something like this happens and for it to color how you see the organization as a whole and your loyalty to it moving forward.

I really didn't write intending to look for sympathy, but thank you to everyone that added an empathetic note to the responses they shared. They warmed my heart, and I realized I do probably still care more than I care to admit.

Originally Posted by carnation

Our organizations used to honor legacies with policies that at least gave our daughters one more shot to be noticed during rush. If they made it all the way through to preferential parties, they were put on the bid list. I don't know if any groups have legacy preferences now.

Our organizations have many legacy songs and some have special pins that legacies can wear. Mothers and sisters can come to initiation.

Many of our organizations have changed. From being a group of like-minded women, they have devolved into political organizations. (Look up the Kappa Kappa Gamma suit at the University of Wyoming.) Because of this, the NPCs have lost incredible amounts of money and some alum clubs have folded in protest. There are many of us who will resign if our groups remove God and Christ from the rituals (some groups are trying).

I have heard of numerous cases in which committees were stacked to get the voting results that various sororities wanted. Major decisions were made at the council level in which members had no say and then the council would express fake surprise at the members' anger. Some sororities are putting on a show of pretending to backtrack and consult the membership but no one believes them anymore.

Though none of my daughters were rejected from my sorority (my group never had a chapter where they rushed), I am definitely down on my group. I have cut off all contributions. I have 5 granddaughters with the oldest now in high school, and I don't care if they rush. Several times a month, I hear something revolting that an NPC group has pulled on their members without consulting them and who wants people they love to be subjectd to that?

Yes, you are describing my organization, carnation. Over the last 3 years, Fraternity Council has declared legacy status persona non grata, pressured active members to pledge a biological male (they just countersued the 7 U of W members, arguing in a legal filing that the term “woman” has evolved since our founding 150 years ago,) and felt compelled to criticize the Supreme Court and voice support for abortion with an official "Statement." Let's just say those decisions didn't reflect the views of all members or alumni, and I fail to see how pushing a political agenda will strengthen or improve our group. I feel like I don't even recognize my sorority anymore. From what I have observed online, these decisions have only caused anger and division and weakened alumni support.