[irishpipes]

I went to the University of Illinois and rushed in the late 80s. It was the largest rushee group ever, with almost 2,000 rushees. Our rush groups were HUGE and I did not feel like I had a personal connection with the Rho Chis because they were very busy just doing the bare minimum with so many girls in the group. They all were very friendly, just too busy to cope with girls who needed individualized attention.

When I rushed, I preffed the maximum - 3 chapters. However, I suicided AOII. I remember being told that suiciding was not the best way to go, but this wasn't heavily stressed. I was a Greek idiot - first in my family - so I did not realize the disservice I had just done to myself. The Rho Chi didn't look at my pref sheet and tell me this was a bad idea. It was just -"ok, see you tomorrow at the Union!" In retrospect, I think it would have been better if she had asked why I suicided even though I went to 3 parties that day. If nothing else, if I were her I would be curious as to why. (You know, did something bad happen at the other parties, etc.) I suicided because I overheard some girls in my group who knew a lot about sororities talk about it. They had said all along that it was better to suicide and get the house you want than to let PH stick you in a "bad" sorority. I knew so little about Greek life, that this made more of an impression than the canned speech by the Rho Chis. I knew that my other 2 choices were very good chapters on campus. I would have been happy, but my best fit was AOII and I knew it. But, I would rather have been in choices 2 or 3 than not Greek at all. This is a school where Greek life is VERY big. I did not understand just how bad my chances were of getting in a sorority if I suicided. I knew nothing of quota, legacies, etc. (I didn't realize that all of the houses at U of I had enough legacies to fill half a pledge class so it was even more difficult to suicide and get a bid.)

Anyway, I got a phone call, yes, a phone call, by a Rho Chi telling me that I didn't need to go to the bid distribution because I didn't match. There was no discussion. I just said ok. I actually felt bad for the Rho Chi because I thought it was horrible to have her job. I was not going to make it worse by asking her to explain or by breaking down. To make it worse, my roommate was an active in AOII! She would be moving into our dorm room the next day since rush was over. So, I made sure to never let her see that I was devastated because it wasn't her fault and I didn't want her to feel responsible.

Then, about 3 days later, an adult from Panhel (I don't know what her role was) - maybe Greek Life adviser? - called me to tell me that there had been a mistake, and I was welcome to join AOII's pledge class. I asked her what kind of mistake could that be, and she just said it was a computer error and someone from AOII would be calling me. The AOII pledge trainer called soon after. I accepted the offer, never understanding what happened. As I learned more about Greek life, I decided that I had been a snap bid and I just hadn't heard the proper terminology. But, since being on GC, I have found that you aren't eligible for snap bidding if you suicide. So, I never have known what happened. I don't think about it much now, because I love where I ended up and the path that got me there isn't very important. However, it really affected my pledgeship because I always felt unworthy - like I was the pledge that didn't really get into the house on my own merit. If it was an "error" I wish they would have explained it more to me because it sounded fishy and I always felt odd. Plus, I missed my bid night, etc. All's well that ends well, but my very long-winded point is:
1. I should have been counseled STRONGLY before suiciding
2. I should not have been told over the phone that I wasn't matched
3. I should have been told clearly why I was added to the pledge class. If it was a panhel error, they should have explained it more clearly. If it was a snap bid by AOII they should have told me that.