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Originally posted by starang21
but if you don't accept her, why would she say anything good about it anyway? i'm pretty sure she'll resent you if you've already rejected her. you're already going to burn a bridge, might as well be truthful to yourself as well as to her. if you don't like her, don't prance around like you'll be her friend after you reject her. that's bogus. why would she tell her friends to join if you didnt' even accept her? and you didn't tell her what you didn't like about her, then why would she change for better? she doesn't know her faults. its pointless to roll your eyes and just pretend there isn't a problem, that doesn't solve anything, and it's 2 faced for that matter.
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It's common knowledge that if someone has a bad experience somewhere, that they will usually mention that experience to an average of 6 people. Knowing that, I would MUCH rather let a girl down easy by being polite and showing some couth than to look her dead in the eye and say, "Your reputation as a slut precedes you, and we don't want that in our organization." Saying that not only embarrasses her, but it also would make you look like a cold-hearted b*tch. At least by being polite, you don't provide the rushee with any nasty stories to spread around about how rude and snobby XYZ sorority members are -- and you don't make the girl herself feel like a second-class citizen whenever she runs into one of your sisters on campus.
Being polite does not equate to being "two-faced." I don't know how your organization works, but in mine there is silent voting -- which means that if a girl isn't extended a bid, then it's a strong possibility that many of the chapter members won't know why. Only the nominating committee really knows for sure, and they are not allowed to talk about any negative votes. So, it would not be two-faced for a sister to say that she doesn't know the reason for a rushee not getting a bid, and it would not be "bogus" for her to continue being polite to that rushee in the future. Not all rushees have the qualities that a sorority is looking for in a new member, but that doesn't mean that the girls can't be friendly to each other outside the chapter.
