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Move!
Seriously, you are in a pickle. Could you write a neutral rec and then call the chapter's membership advisor and tell her your conflict? I know in my capacity as membership advisor or general advisor that I have stepped in in similar cases and protected the anonymity of the alumna-even when I did not know them personally. But you are trusting someone you do not know. I will PM you.
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I live in Fantasyland and I have waterfront property.
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