Should I try again?

MelissaS · #1 04-03-2002, 10:18 PM

Hey everyone! I am really interested in pledging a sorority, but I need some advice!

Last semester I went through most of formal rush. I didn't really know anything about sororities and I was really shy and nervous. I didn't know what to say or how to act. After round 1 I was invited back to 5 of the 9 houses at my school, and after round 2 I was invited back to 3 of those 5. I really wasn't interested in 2 of the 3 houses (they were the only houses I hadn't liked), so I dropped out of rush. I still really wanted to be in a sorority though, so I decided to wait until spring.

This semester, there were a few houses (not all) holding informal rush, but unfortunately they were all going on at the same time and the parties conflicted with each other. So I ended up rushing only one house, and I didn't get in.

So needless to say I am a little discouraged, but this is still something I really want to do!! Do any of you think I should try again this fall when they have formal rush again? If so, do you have any tips for me?

ThetaLove · #2 04-03-2002, 11:01 PM

Hi Melissa,
Yes, if this is something that you want to do, I say go for it! However, my advice would be to keep and open mind. I don't know what your reasons were for disliking two of the houses that invited you back, but maybe you should try to a least get to know them a little better. Speaking from my own rush experience, I told myself that if I didn't get invited back to Theta, I was dropping out. If I wouldn't have gotten them back, and had dropped out, I would have been missing out on meeting and getting to know so many girls in other sororites (some of which my best friends pledged) My last bit of advice would be to ask yourself why you want to be in a sorority and see what all of the sororities have to offer. You can learn a lot about the sororites during the rush parties by asking the girls questions about their philanthropy and about stuff that you know that they do around your campus. You probably have an advantage because I'm sure you already know about most of the sororites. Sorry so long, but just ask if you have any more questions.
Good Luck!
Shelly

mmcat · #3 04-04-2002, 07:25 AM

if this indeed is what you truly want...
but keep you options and your eyes open...
good luck
mmcat

LeslieAGD · #4 04-04-2002, 07:38 AM

As I always say...Go for it!

Peaches-n-Cream · #5 04-04-2002, 05:17 PM

Try again!

GiantsChic · #6 04-04-2002, 06:40 PM

Hi there, I am in almost the *exact* same position you are in... I went through formal fall rush last semester... we have 9 sororities on campus, and by the time it came to pref nite, i was only invited back to 3, 2 of which I did not feel like i belonged there... They just weren't for me, but I went to pref nite anyways, and I suicided the one house that I did like... I didn't get a bid from them, and was really sad... but i decided to go through informal spring rush, and the same thing happened... I suicided again and didn't receive a bid... now i know what most people say about suiciding and how I should have an open mind, but I did go into it w/ an open mind... and to this day I don't regret my choice because I know completely that I don't belong w/ those 2 other houses... Now I'm trying to decide whether or not to go through rush again in the fall... I feel kinda bad cuz I don't wanna "set myself up" for rejection, but I really do wanna be in a sorority... I just don't know what to do... if anybody has any advice, it would really be appreciated... and Melissa, p/n or e-mail me anytime if you wanna talk

gamma_25 · #7 04-04-2002, 06:56 PM

Hey there well i feel that u should keep trying...it's doesn't hurt to try again...but if u don't get in it's not the end of the world...go back when u can and go for it...or maybe it wasn't mean to be.....but that should mean that u shouldn't try next semester or the one after that....maybe they'll consider u once they see how much dedication u have into pledging them...= ) good luck mija....

MelissaS · #8 04-04-2002, 07:14 PM

Hey! Thanks for the replies. I think I am going to try rushing again. I think I have a pretty good chance of getting into a house I like. I won't be as nervous this time because I'll know what to expect much more than I did the last time, and hopefully that will help me be more confident and less shy.
Some of you were wondering why I didn't like those two houses. It was because I didn't feel I really fit in well there. Nothing against them at all, but I did go to 2 rush parties at each house and I just wasn't as impressed by them as I was by the other 7 houses.
Well anyways, I know fall rush is still pretty far away. But when it does come time for it I will be sure to keep you all posted!! And if anyone has any more advice I would appreciate it. Thanks again!!
~Melissa

Dionysus · #9 04-04-2002, 08:38 PM

Take this extra time to study/observe the sorority you want to get into. Every organization/group, greek and non-greek, has it's distinct values and what they want specifically from their members. Figure out what it is, and use it!

MelissaS · #10 04-05-2002, 03:15 PM

I've been looking a lot through the old threads in this forum. Great tips! I'm really glad I came across this site because it's answered a lot of questions I had about what to do and what not to do as a rushee. And everyone here seems so wonderful and supportive! Up until now I thought that I was cut from those houses because the sisters didn't like me. Now I think it was probably because I was really clueless about what to do and didn't make nearly as good of an impression as I could have!

For one thing, I didn't know how important my appearance was. They told us to show up to round 1 in something comfortable, because we'd be walking around campus a lot. I wore jeans and a t-shirt 2 days out of the 3 for round 1! Usually I wear cuter clothes than that, but I was going for the whole comfort thing. Plus, on the first day we got caught in the rain walking between houses, so my hair was all puffy and my makeup ran a little. So I definitely wasn't as well-dressed and well-manicured as I should have been, and I'm sure that didn't help me any.

Also, I wasn't sure what to talk to the sisters about or what kinds of questions to ask them. I made small talk with the girls who rushed me, but when they asked if I had any questions I could never think of any. I didn't really even try because I didn't want to seem boring...I still don't quite know what my reasoning was behind that one!

But oh well. Now I know to show more interest in the different things that each chapter participates in, philanthropies, values, etc. Another thing that I think hurt me was that first round I didn't even know we had to be invited back to the houses. I thought we just picked which ones we wanted to go back to! So after I got cut from 4 houses (2 of which were at the top of my list at that point), I was incredibly nervous at round 2! There were 3 houses left that I really liked, and when I went to those parties I told the sisters rushing me how scared I was about not being invited back again. That couldn't have been a good idea! I was cut by 2 of those houses, which led me to drop out of rush.

I was still clueless this spring when I decided to rush one house again. This was one of the houses that had cut me after round 2 in the fall. I went the first day and it went well except for one thing. There was a girl in that house I'd known in high school. She was a year ahead of me and she'd never been nice to me, in fact I knew she didn't like me (not sure why). Everyone else I talked to was really sweet and fun, though, so I went back the second night (everyone was invited back). The second night didn't go as well. It was the same as round 3 (prefs) had been in the fall, but I hadn't been to that and I didn't know I was supposed to get dressed up! I'm sure nobody told me...I think the girl who rushed me the first night forgot. Nobody wore dresses that night, but everyone except me and 2 other girls out of maybe 25 were wearing nice, dressy pants and a nice top. My outfit wasn't bad...at least I didn't wear jeans!!...but it was definitely noticeable. I can see why I didn't get a bid from them.

Anyways, I'm sorry this post was so long! I am kind of embarassed to admit all these things because I feel really stupid about them. But at least now I can see things I did wrong before and I won't make those mistakes again!

dzrose93 · #11 04-05-2002, 03:22 PM

MelissaS,

I'm glad that you found some good Rush advice in the old threads. It sounds as if you may have been a little naive about Rush at first, which definitely could account for why you didn't receive a bid -- and I don't mean "naive" in a bad way, either! There are MANY girls just like you who would make wonderful additions to any sorority, but just need a little support and advice when it comes to showing the houses what good candidates they really are!

Now that you're armed with tons of Rush advice, my suggestion is to get out there and show your enthusiasm to the sisters! Good luck, and please keep us updated. We absolutely LOVE hearing Rush stories!!

Peaches-n-Cream · #12 04-05-2002, 03:29 PM

Don't be embarrassed. How would you know these things if no one told you. Now you know better so you will do a better job.

GaMbEtAPhIgIrL · #13 04-05-2002, 10:06 PM

I go to the University of Memphis and I had a terrible rush expierience I never want to even look at a social sorority girl there. I know that other schools are different, I wish I went to one! They have no manners. My Rho Chi leader disliked me for no reason and I got rejected by Alpha Delta Pi twice...I'm a direct legacy with them and I went to two informal spring rushes and neither called me...they carried rush parties, but they already picked the ones they would bid BEFOREHAND. Is other campus like this? Do you think I should rush again? I hope I don't sound rude nasty etc, but both me and my mom were treated badly by the ADPis.
Thanks for reading!

Dionysus · #14 04-05-2002, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GaMbEtAPhIgIrL
I go to the University of Memphis and I had a terrible rush expierience I never want to even look at a social sorority girl there. I know that other schools are different, I wish I went to one! They have no manners. My Rho Chi leader disliked me for no reason and I got rejected by Alpha Delta Pi twice...I'm a direct legacy with them and I went to two informal spring rushes and neither called me...they carried rush parties, but they already picked the ones they would bid BEFOREHAND. Is other campus like this? Do you think I should rush again? I hope I don't sound rude nasty etc, but both me and my mom were treated badly by the ADPis.
Thanks for reading!

I'm confused!

Why is your username GamBetaPhiGirl if you never joined a sorority? Are you in a professional or service org?

You definately should rush again, but not for ADPi. If they were disrespectful to you, then don't pay any attention to them. You deserve better.

maggieaxid · #15 04-06-2002, 12:15 PM

Melissa, what school do you go to and what are the organizations that are there?