Things you like/dislike about pref night?? help!

GoGammaPhi · #1 05-13-2008, 01:43 AM

So I am trying to reconfigure my chapter's preference ceremony it has become a bit long and boring. I did not go through formal recruitment so I have no idea what other houses do for pref night. If you could let me know some things that you remember or your chapter does it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!!

PhiGam · #2 05-13-2008, 02:48 AM

Hazing... a lot of hazing.

KSUViolet06 · #3 05-13-2008, 03:13 AM

I did a search for 'pref night ideas' and found:

Threads about pref ceremonies in general:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ght=pref+night

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ght=pref+ideas

Pref Dresses:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ght=pref+night

Pref food and decoriations:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ght=pref+night

Also, all 26 NPC sororities have their own individual forums on this site, if you post your question there, you might get better feedback.

honeychile · #4 05-27-2008, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeta13Girl

A good idea would be to talk to your sisters who went through formal this past year. Ask them what they liked and didn't like about the pref ceremony. You can also ask them what they liked about some of the other prefs they went to as well. This will definitely be a help because unlike us they have been through your ceremony and you don't want to take something out that the PNMs liked.

Very good advice!

There is a VERY thin line at Pref Parties - you want to pull on the PNMs' heartstrings, but in a way they'll understand. If you have a few sisters tell of sisterhood moments, they can't be private jokes, or too morbid. If it's too emotional, you'll lose the ones who can't handle a lot of crying. If nobody cries at all, you lost them. Maybe somebody else can explain that even better.

PeppyGPhiB · #5 05-28-2008, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeychile

Very good advice!

There is a VERY thin line at Pref Parties - you want to pull on the PNMs' heartstrings, but in a way they'll understand. If you have a few sisters tell of sisterhood moments, they can't be private jokes, or too morbid. If it's too emotional, you'll lose the ones who can't handle a lot of crying. If nobody cries at all, you lost them. Maybe somebody else can explain that even better.

Yes. Tell your sisters to hold it together. A teardrop down the cheek or a crack of the voice is OK here and there, but do not let them SOB! That is sooooo uncomfortable to people who don't know you, and whom haven't even spent a day in the chapter yet. Not to mention it ruins their makeup ;-)

gee_ess · #6 05-28-2008, 10:32 PM

As an advisor and an active, I have seen pref ceremonies turn into a "senior memory" event and it is (imo) a disaster. The PNM's have no idea what it feels like to be in a sorority, so actives crying over the great memories or wonderful relationships is a totally foreign concept to them. And, these very emotional seniors (who recruitment chairs keep putting in key positions for this night) are not the person these PNM's can relate to at this juncture in their collegiate experience.

It is important to get into the head of the PNM -not the other girls of your chapter.
Most often, the PNM has been on a roller coaster of emotion from getting cut, watching others be cut, making difficult choices, getting invited back to her first choice and feeling excited then panicky because she might still get cut, etc. She is tired and emotional as well as happy and excited.

So, I think the same general rule applies to pref that applies to the other rounds - make this young woman feel this is a place that she can feel comfortable, can relate to, etc. You will appeal to her emotionally if you appeal to the variety of very real emotions she is more than likely experiencing on this night, and make her realize that they are normal.

So my advice is: Stay away from the party pic/philathropy/sisterhood video - they have no idea what this really entails and it is not going to have the emotional pull for them that it does for all of the senior members of your chapter who will be quietly sobbing during the ceremony.

AGDee · #7 05-28-2008, 10:38 PM

What really got me during pref, when I was a PNM, was that during the ceremony and during one very special song, one of the members kept making eye contact with me and smiling at me. It made me feel like she was thinking of ME as they were saying these special words in the ceremony and the song. I was clearly her rush crush and she was mine, so she really sealed the deal by making that connection with me. If all the sisters are looking down or looking at each other, they seem disinterested in the PNMs. It seems small, but it was HUGE to me.

AlphaXi_Husky · #8 05-28-2008, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gee_ess

As an advisor and an active, I have seen pref ceremonies turn into a "senior memory" event and it is (imo) a disaster. The PNM's have no idea what it feels like to be in a sorority, so actives crying over the great memories or wonderful relationships is a totally foreign concept to them. And, these very emotional seniors (who recruitment chairs keep putting in key positions for this night) are not the person these PNM's can relate to at this juncture in their collegiate experience.

It is important to get into the head of the PNM -not the other girls of your chapter.

I have to 100% agree w/ this. While it's a very emotional time for the members (especially the seniors), the pref ceremony is not the time for people to blubber on about how much they're miss the sisterhood and how things are important to them. That makes it all about the sisters and not about the PNM. It's definitely important to connect with the PNMs - with eye contact, warm smiles and thoughtful conversation.

Personal story - when I was Recruitment chair for my chapter (quite a while ago) during the last preference party one of the seniors added a little something extra to her part of the ceremony - something along the lines of "I just have to say the seniors have put in a lot of time and energy and this is their last preference party and we've earned it!" It totally ruined things - I could have strangled her.

KSUViolet06 · #9 05-28-2008, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gee_ess

As an advisor and an active, I have seen pref ceremonies turn into a "senior memory" event and it is (imo) a disaster. And, these very emotional seniors (who recruitment chairs keep putting in key positions for this night) are not the person these PNM's can relate to at this juncture in their collegiate experience.

I agree with this. One of my friends from another sorority told me about something like this that happened when she went through recruitment. She was at XYZ, and two seniors (who were real sisters as well) had parts in the perf ceremony. One sister was reading, and she started to tear up. The other sister was supposed to read the part that came after hers. They were reading from these notes they'd written, but the other sister was so overwhelmed with emotion that she threw down her paper, reaches over and hugs her sister and they start hugging and bawling for what my friend described as at least 5 minutes.

My friend isn't a cryer, so she was just kind of weirded out. When it came time for conversation, the sister who preffed her was one of the "crying sisters." So she was talking to the sister, and things were going better, until the other sister happens to walk by. THey burst into hugging, tears, and omg I love you, right in front of my frend the PNM. They didn't talk to her until it was almost time for the party to be over.

My friend decided that XYZ cried WAY too much and ended up ranking them LAST out of 3 parties on her final card because she was weirded out by the 2 crying seniors.

So yes, do take it easy on the sobbing and hugging. It can make your party seem like one big "insider sob fest" because the PNMs cannot relate to the things you're crying about. This makes the PNMs feel like an awkward outside observer, rather than an invited guest.

Deepher4Life · #10 06-07-2008, 12:19 PM

For one of the pref nights that i went to, the sister conducting the ceremony called my name and asked me to come forward. Then a sister who i had really connected with came up next to me and said why she thought i would be a good addition to that sorority. they did that with every girl who attended the party. i reallly liked it, but i already had my mind set...

LAblondeGPhi · #11 06-13-2008, 02:45 PM

I love some of these suggestions, especially about the connecting to the members. That's so important.

I second, third, fourth, whatever on the cry-fest notes. Keep the info touching and make sure that PNMs can relate to what is being said.. for example, maybe women who all COBed or joined in an untraditional way wouldn't be your best examples for a Formal Recruitment Pref.

Personalizing is great, which leades me to prepare! If the ceremony is well-planned and practiced, the chapter can focus on the PNMs more than what to do/say next. If the members have done their research on their PNMs, they will connect better and personalize better. If the house is decorated tastefully and with class, the mood will be set. Have the choir practice, have the members practice, and brainstorm ideas with anyone in your chapter who went through formal recruitment.

Good luck!