Re-rushing, what do you think?

Maybe some of you can help me out on this, here is my situation:

I am a junior, and I decided to rush in the spring only to one house because they all had different dates and that was the only one that I knew off. I went there, met the girls, and I felt like I fit in perfectly. They said that they would be calling that same night to let us which got in and which didn't. I got a call later on in the night saying "sorry to inform you but i didn't make it because of my junior standing, and they didn't have enough spots, but she recommended that I rush in the fall because it's alot better and there are way more spots. Well, after a few months, I e-mailed the same girl who also happens to be the VP of recruitment asking her if she really thinks I have a better shot in the fall, she never replied. Now, I am debating if I should rush again in the fall, it's about 20 days away from fall rush, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to go through the same thing and not make it and be upset for days like I was last time, and I feel a little embarrased to go to the same house again, knowing that all the girls know that I am rerushing. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm so close to the end of college and I haven't enjoyed it and feel like a sorority might be the best thing for me. One of the girls who also rushed with me in the spring, who also happens to be a junior, was called a few days later after bid day saying " a spot opened" and she got in, me and her are no longer friends" has nothing to do with this" but also I don't want her to say something that will make that sorority not want to invite me back to the house. Any help??

thanks
F.S

[dgdramadawg]

Are there other sororities on your campus? Perhaps the girl who contacted you meant that there are more spots because more groups are participating in rush. If the house cut you because you were a junior, being a senior would probably not make it any easier to get a bid... especially if you have an ex-friend in the house who might be ready to dish out dirt on you (and you can't keep her from doing that, because if she has something against you she probably will).

If you want to rush again, go for it! But keep in mind that if they cut you for being a junior, they have no reason to take a senior, so you need to keep your mind open to that possibility. [Also, it should be noted that generally sororities do not release official reasons for cutting women, so just because you were told that your class standing was the reason does not mean that is the only factor. Then again, the member who called you may have just been breaking the rules. Who knows.]

If you think you can handle the possibility of disappointment, rush again.

If you don't think you can handle the possibility of disappointment, don't.

I don't know what else there is to say.

I agree, I am not naive and she possibly have told me that to cushion the blow, and yes there are 3 other major sororities that are on campus, and I'm still at a junior standing, I won't graduate until summer of 2008 or fall even because of my minor. So I really don't know, I sent her an e-mail asking if I'm at a disadvantage of being a junior and she hasn't replied yet, so who knows. I just don't really know, it's not as easy as if I can handle getting rejected then go for it and if not don't do it. This is something i've always wanted to do, and getting rejected as harder than most people think.

[Soliloquy]

Recs might help you out. If you, or anyone in your network, knows alumnae of the GLO's represented at your college try to secure a rec from them. They could point out your positive qualities and may even state something like you have ___ years left in school and you'd like to spend those years in greek life or something. Unfortunately in a lot of southern schools class standing really effects your recruitment results, so the advantage of being introduced through a rec may help! Please remember though that having a rec or two does not secure you a bid.

I know you don't have much time, but if you're willing to put in some leg work, you may be able to make this happen.

Good luck!

[dgdramadawg]

Yes, it is hard. That's why you need to think long and hard about whether you can handle coming away with (a) a bid from a house other than the one you want or (b) no bid at all.

[SoCalGirl]

Does your school have any special free quota or "free" spots for juniors or seniors during formal recruitment? If you don't know, you should contact the campus's Panhellenic VP Recruitment.

[adpiucf]

The girl you are no longer friends with could certainly stand in the way of you receiving a bid to her sorority.

If you absolutely can't handle being rejected, don't rush. You are going to be cut by sororities throughout the process, especially due to your being an upperclassman.

Also from your "location" being Houston, Texas, it is really late in the year to be securing recommendations... Please go to Houston's Alum Panhellenic Web site: http://houston-panhellenic.org/. There is some good information on their web site about recruitment. If you have any questions, please contact the AP Recruitment Chairman, Mary Anne. She's very nice and is good about getting back to people. (She has a new email addy; don't know if it has been updated on the site. If you have probs getting in touch with her, PM me).

A junior does not have as many opportunities to join a sorority as an underclassman, and this will account for cuts in the earlier rounds of recruitment. Be aware of this and don't freak out if you only have a few invitations back after the first round. It's not you; it's your class rank. And possibly, a low GPA.

At this point, if you go through formal recruitment, you should stick it out through the prefs round because this could be your last chance to join a sorority... and you should be very open to joining any of the chapters on your campus if you desire sorority membership this late in the game.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. There is going to be rejection in this process. But if you really want to try sorority membership, formal recruitment is a good place to start.

[Faith4Keep]

Hi!

I did formal rush as a junior at a semi-competitive school. Prior to recruitment, I knew that I didn't want certain chapters, and I knew that they wouldn't want me since I was a junior. But once I was there, talking to the girls, they had me convinced that I could be a part of their chapter. And then when I got cut- it hurt. It stung. It was very frustrating. But in the end I got a bid to an amazing group of girls-- it may not be considered "the best" on our campus, but I think they are the best!

I one time asked here on GC why chapters won't take juniors. One good response was that if you pledge fall of your junior year, you only get one go-round as an officer (spring of junior, fall of senior) and then you graduate. Your long-term contributions to the chapter are minimal. Also, I'm not sure the chapters on your campus have houses, but if you are a junior (or senior) you would not have the time to live in the house, which is a HUGE deal breaker for many chapters that need to fill rooms.

This is probably not a reason for being cut but... part of being in a sorority is that the chapter assists in "developing" you into a refined young woman. Once you hit your junior/senior year, you are pretty much set in your ways. For example, I was definitely not used to following my chapter's rules on drinking, partying, facebook, etc. I thought (and still do think sometimes) that it was really annoying to always have someone "watching over me" and making sure I do things the right way, the classy way, the XYZ way. However, when freshman and sophomores come in, that's just the way life is for them. It's more difficult to 'develop' someone who has already had 2-3 years on their own.

Consider these points before you enroll in rush. Will you take a leadership position? Will you live in the house (will you have time)? What can you contribute? Membership in a sorority is a give and take relationship. This commitment will be a lot, especially during your senior year. Have you tried joining other on campus organizations?

If you do decide to go through recruitment, have a prepared answer to the question "So, what did you do in high school?", because EVERYONE asks that. Like everyone has said, you will more than likely have huge cuts on the first day, just like I did. You must be ready for disappointment. I saw several juniors walk away without a bid on the third or fourth day of recruitment. You need to be open to ALL chapters, especially since you have this disadvantage of your class rank.

Feel free to PM me, I would love to hear what you decide.

[indygphib]

Originally Posted by Faith4Keep

Hi!

I did formal rush as a junior at a semi-competitive school. Prior to recruitment, I knew that I didn't want certain chapters, and I knew that they wouldn't want me since I was a junior. But once I was there, talking to the girls, they had me convinced that I could be a part of their chapter. And then when I got cut- it hurt. It stung. It was very frustrating. But in the end I got a bid to an amazing group of girls-- it may not be considered "the best" on our campus, but I think they are the best!

I one time asked here on GC why chapters won't take juniors. One good response was that if you pledge fall of your junior year, you only get one go-round as an officer (spring of junior, fall of senior) and then you graduate. Your long-term contributions to the chapter are minimal. Also, I'm not sure the chapters on your campus have houses, but if you are a junior (or senior) you would not have the time to live in the house, which is a HUGE deal breaker for many chapters that need to fill rooms.

This is probably not a reason for being cut but... part of being in a sorority is that the chapter assists in "developing" you into a refined young woman. Once you hit your junior/senior year, you are pretty much set in your ways. For example, I was definitely not used to following my chapter's rules on drinking, partying, facebook, etc. I thought (and still do think sometimes) that it was really annoying to always have someone "watching over me" and making sure I do things the right way, the classy way, the XYZ way. However, when freshman and sophomores come in, that's just the way life is for them. It's more difficult to 'develop' someone who has already had 2-3 years on their own.

Consider these points before you enroll in rush. Will you take a leadership position? Will you live in the house (will you have time)? What can you contribute? Membership in a sorority is a give and take relationship. This commitment will be a lot, especially during your senior year. Have you tried joining other on campus organizations?

If you do decide to go through recruitment, have a prepared answer to the question "So, what did you do in high school?", because EVERYONE asks that. Like everyone has said, you will more than likely have huge cuts on the first day, just like I did. You must be ready for disappointment. I saw several juniors walk away without a bid on the third or fourth day of recruitment. You need to be open to ALL chapters, especially since you have this disadvantage of your class rank.

Feel free to PM me, I would love to hear what you decide.

If you do decide to go through recruitment, please keep in mind that unless your campus has an upperclassman quota, you most likely will be cut heavily after the first round of parties. Even if your chapter does have an upperclassman quota, you're not guaranteed to be asked back to all of the chapters due to each chapter's membership selection process, which is a private matter. Most chapters are looking to take women who have the potential to contribute four (or more) years of their time to the chapter, and if your school is fairly competitive, chances are most chapters will take a freshman over a junior or senior any day because the freshman will (hopefully) be a contributing member to the chapter for the rest of her college years.

My recruitment experience was similar to Faith4Keep's. I knew that my junior status would be one of the main reasons why I'd be cut from most of the sororities. However, most of the chapters that cut me wouldn't have been a good fit for me anyway...I was only slightly disappointed about being cut from about three or so after the first round, but I was aware of the consequences of going through recruitment with my class standing. Fortunately for me, most of my top choices (and best fits) were always on my party list, and I ended up joining my #1 choice - woo hoo!

Faith4Keep also makes a good point about "developing" into a sorority woman. Are you willing to make some changes to your lifestyle so you can have a more smooth transition into sorority life? Adjusting to "the sorority way" was definitely an experience for me. I thought some of the rules on drinking, partying, etc. were excessive because they seemed like common sense to me. After all, I had been on campus for quite some time and was used to the social scene and knew how to "behave". But I realized that having a social protocol set by the chapter was a good thing...new members (myself included) needed to learn the chapter's expectations for leaving a positive impression on campus, and the existing members were expected to adhere to the same expectations.

I wish you the best of luck!

Thank you for everyone that has written in! Here's is what I think. I completely understand why sororities would pick a freshman instead of a junior, they do have more time to contribute, but I also think that it depends on the girl as well, I feel like I would be a great part in a sorority. And as far as the transition, I am not really understanding what you guys mean, here's the thing, yes, I'm in college, however, I do feel very grown up for my age, by no means do I go out and get sloppy drunk or do anything unapproperiate. I would love to give alot to a sorority, and help out in any way that I can. I love that fact that each sorority has a philanthropy that they work with. There is one sorority on campus who is probably my 2nd choice, and there philanthropy hits really close to home because I would be dealing with people who are going through some things I have been through. I'm not going to lie, my GPA isn't great, I've been trying to balance school and work with no social life, but I want to do better, and I feel like a sorority would help me out alot. There are only 4 houses on campus. And about the one who asked about the girl who might have something against me, here's the thing, I know girls can be that way, to make a long story short, she involved me in something I had nothing to do with, and decided that we shouldn't be friends, so I feel like she really doesn't have anything against me persay. I got an e-mail from the VP of recruitment to one of the chapters saying that it doesn't look bad to re-rush, and asking if I'm considering rushing in the fall, so I don't know, I will ask her about recs and the upperclass quota if they have one, I will keep everyone updated though! Thank you so much!

[adpiucf]

The Panhellenic Council at your school is another good resource to get information about quotas, juniors, etc.

Also, you may have a lot to offer, but your low grades and class rank will be a factor in being cut from some sororities after the first round. Same goes for anyone who may have an issue with you. Just be prepared for these things.

Good luck!

ETA: I think Faith4Keep was advising you that as an older student, you would be one of the oldest members in the chapter. And that chapter officers younger than you, possibly underclassmen, would be enforcing sorority rules -- and for you to be prepared for that. Or if you were to live in the sorority house, to know going in that the expectations to live in a sorority house aren't as lax as living off campus and even in the dorms. Sorority houses enforce the "no overnight male guests" and dry rules, and plenty of members don't like this, especially ones who are used to more freedom.

[PeppyGPhiB]

I would advise you to STOP contacting the chapter VPs of Recruitment. They are most likely not supposed to be talking with you now, and they may actually find it annoying that you're emailing them with these questions. I would also recommend that you NOT ask them about junior/senior quotas and recommendations, as it starts to get into the territory of member selection. It is best that you instead direct your questions to the greek affairs office, if you have one.

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

I would advise you to STOP contacting the chapter VPs of Recruitment. They are most likely not supposed to be talking with you now, and they may actually find it annoying that you're emailing them with these questions. I would also recommend that you NOT ask them about junior/senior quotas and recommendations, as it starts to get into the territory of member selection. It is best that you instead direct your questions to the greek affairs office, if you have one.

It's unclear to me if she was referring to the VP of Recruitment for Panhellenic or the VP of Recruitment for a specific chapter. If it is the former, well, it's kind of her job to answer questions from PNMs. If it's the latter, I agree, she should no longer be in contact and should forward all questions to Panhellenic/the Greek Life office.

[REE1993]

May I ask what your GPA is?

If all you do is school and work, and have no social life, I would think that your grades would be better?

Also, if you have no social life, what can you offer a "social" sorority?

How do you think a sorority can possibly help you out with your GPA? By your junior year, you should be engrossed in your Major's classes, and most would assume your GPA would be getting better.

Just wondering....

Originally Posted by fadyas

I'm not going to lie, my GPA isn't great, I've been trying to balance school and work with no social life, but I want to do better, and I feel like a sorority would help me out alot.