How have you changed?

[three2tango]

I remember when I went through rush as a freshman I HAD to be an XYZ. I went shopping before rush began and bought a new outfit for every party. I think I spent $150 for my pref night dress (which might have been okay if I had worn it more than that one night). I spent the entire week stressed out over how I was going to get in XYZ. They were the prissy girls and I wanted to be a part of them. I didn't know who I was but I thought they were who I wanted to become. Luckily one of their sisters said something that turned me off and I wrote my second choice down first on my pref card.
No one tells you how much you are going to change from your first to second year in college. During my first time on the rusher side I looked at how cute the girls were and how much fun I thought they would be. I let all that surface fluff influence my vote on pref night. The girls who weren't as cute were put on my B list. I had the attitude, you have to prove to me you are good enough to be here.(How Pretentious is that?)

Now I think/hope I have grown enough to look deeper and I get so ANGRY when we are voting on a girl and she is really great but the younger sisters will say something negative just so that they can be justified in voting her out of the next night.
I don't say anything to them because I know that it is just something they will have to learn on their own. It is kind of like all of the people on here who are consumed with trying to get into the "best" house. You can tell them that they shouldn't go into rush only wanting one house a thousand times but they won't ever understand until they are on the other side.
I feel sorry for the the rushee, every move she makes is watched and judged.
It is strange to think back to who I was.