How Moms Should Treat Their Legacy Daughters

[exlurker]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

I guess I'm lucky - my youngest will be going through recruitment in a year, but at a campus which doesn't have my sorority. It doesn't have her paternal grandmother's (Pi Phi), but it does have Chi Omega, her step-grandmother's. I really, really just want her to pledge any of the fine groups on the campus. My only inclination towards Chi Omega is because I would love for my mother-in-law's beautiful 70 year old badge to be worn! Honestly, I am so active in my alumnae panhellenic that I will welcome the opportunity to share sorority membership with her with ANY group.

SWTXBelle, you have a great outlook, I think. As you most likely know, though, Chi Omega doesn't consider the grandmother - granddaughter relationship as being a "legacy" situation. (Chi O isn't alone in this; it's my understanding that at least one other NPC group now says that legacies are daughters or sisters -- not granddaughters or great-granddaughters, etc.)

[lyrelyre]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I'm so lucky my mom was sane and mature and even though I was the one to rank her chapter lower than Sigma Kappa, she never would have THOUGHT about taking it out on me, my happiness, my new chapter or the collegiate chapter of her sorority.

It seems that (with many alumnae) it's often acceptable for their daughter to release the chapter, but not for the chapter to release their daughter.

Originally Posted by Happy Mom

I would have loved for her to pledge any of the Sororities.

Did she withdraw from recruitment?

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by exlurker

SWTXBelle, you have a great outlook, I think. As you most likely know, though, Chi Omega doesn't consider the grandmother - granddaughter relationship as being a "legacy" situation. (Chi O isn't alone in this; it's my understanding that at least one other NPC group now says that legacies are daughters or sisters -- not granddaughters or great-granddaughters, etc.)

Oh, I know. And since her grandmother is deceased, it's rather a moot point in terms of recs (although I do expect to get a good Chi O rec from the Chi O daughter of my mil's best friend and Chi O sister!) It would simply be special for the badge to continue on in the family.

[atrianglepi]

On the topic of legacy status, my daughter is a member of a facebook group for girls interested in recruitment at her school. She is out of town(no computer access) and ask me to check to see if anything new has been posted regarding recruitment. Girls questions are answered by 2 collegians who are in charge of recruitment. Anyway, there was a question today regarding how far you get in the recruitment process if you are a legacy. The girl asking the question was under the impression you got asked back to the 2nd or 3rd party if you were a legacy. I can't wait to see what the response from the collegian is! BTW these girls are being told RECs are not necessary. (this is an SEC school)

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by atrianglepi

BTW these girls are being told RECs are not necessary. (this is an SEC school)

Eeeeeeeek.

That is so sad.

I seriously wonder why the girls don't just message the PNMs or something and tell them "the official policy says no, but trust me, you need them?"

Yes, it's against policy, but I'd rather PNMs know the truth (even if they have to get it in a FB msg.)

[exlurker]

Originally Posted by atrianglepi

On the topic of legacy status, my daughter is a member of a facebook group for girls interested in recruitment at her school. She is out of town(no computer access) and ask me to check to see if anything new has been posted regarding recruitment. Girls questions are answered by 2 collegians who are in charge of recruitment. Anyway, there was a question today regarding how far you get in the recruitment process if you are a legacy. The girl asking the question was under the impression you got asked back to the 2nd or 3rd party if you were a legacy. I can't wait to see what the response from the collegian is! BTW these girls are being told RECs are not necessary. (this is an SEC school)

Oh lordy lord.

[KSUViolet06]

I don't know how often this happens down south but I've seen it happen in my region a few times:

Moms will call and be SO mad that a chapter cut their daugher, and yet the chapter NEVER received a REC from her (we do not have a separate legacy form) or anything noting that she was a legacy, and there was NO MENTION of it in her recruitment app.

How were the girls supposed to know she was a legacy? They don't read minds.

And how are you involved enough to chew someone out, but not enough to send in the form so folks knew she was coming?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by atrianglepi

On the topic of legacy status, my daughter is a member of a facebook group for girls interested in recruitment at her school. She is out of town(no computer access) and ask me to check to see if anything new has been posted regarding recruitment. Girls questions are answered by 2 collegians who are in charge of recruitment. Anyway, there was a question today regarding how far you get in the recruitment process if you are a legacy. The girl asking the question was under the impression you got asked back to the 2nd or 3rd party if you were a legacy. I can't wait to see what the response from the collegian is! BTW these girls are being told RECs are not necessary. (this is an SEC school)

Please tell me the name of this group and I will go to FB NOW and tell them GET RECS ASAP.

See, isht like that makes me think they are trying to keep out the Northerners and first generation Greeks who don't know any better and of course the quintuple legacies from Desirable Southern City know better and will have multiple recs in order. It's one thing to not put it on a website - but on a FB group??

[Katmandu]

I hate the fact that competitive schools in which Recs are absolutely necessary, publish in their official recruitment booklet that Recs are NOT necessary, and that if a rec is needed, it is the responsibility of the chapter to obtain it. My God daughter is attending such a school, and we are definitely trying to get recs from all of the groups. Her mom and I have also told her that her legacy status (to her mom's sorority) will probably not factor into recruitment, that the legacy chapter will decide on invites based on her own "fit" into the chapter. I simply don't understand Greek Life offices not being up front with the girls and their moms about recs.

[Gusteau]

Originally Posted by 33girl

See, isht like that makes me think they are trying to keep out the Northerners and first generation Greeks who don't know any better and of course the quintuple legacies from Desirable Southern City know better and will have multiple recs in order. It's one thing to not put it on a website - but on a FB group??

What's worse is that most of it comes from an effort to be more "inclusive." They want it to be more "Don't worry clueless yankee, YOU TOO can be Greek, forget about recs - you don't even know what they are, and that's OK, because it is the sororities' responsibility to get them for you!" But it really turns into the fastest way to sabotage a recruitment. They would achieve the inclusiveness they were looking for if they were realistic and up front about the issue.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Please tell me the name of this group and I will go to FB NOW and tell them GET RECS ASAP.

If you did, the sorority members would probably just deny it (or say you don't know what you're talking) about because they know it's against policy to say it's true.

[33girl]

As much as I hate to bring up this site, does anyone know if College C0nf!dential is debunking this bunk?

It might be beneficial to have the straight dope on Fwap Fwap Central. Then again, I'm betting there are some moms there who are of the mind to do exactly the thing that I cited in my previous post.

[Happy Mom]

Originally Posted by lyrelyre

Did she withdraw from recruitment?

No she was "released" the morning of Pref Day. She was asked back to several houses and kept her options open but was cut.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by Gusteau

What's worse is that most of it comes from an effort to be more "inclusive." They want it to be more "Don't worry clueless yankee, YOU TOO can be Greek, forget about recs - you don't even know what they are, and that's OK, because it is the sororities' responsibility to get them for you!" But it really turns into the fastest way to sabotage a recruitment. They would achieve the inclusiveness they were looking for if they were realistic and up front about the issue.

It's not that sinister! It's more like nobody (in Panhellenic) has actually read the material in several years. Or has authority to correct it.

[Gusteau]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

It's not that sinister! It's more like nobody (in Panhellenic) has actually read the material in several years. Or has authority to correct it.

Well I don't thinks it's sinister, but rather a misguided attempt to equalize the playing field.