Retro Rush Story: My sorority membership changed my life

[mittens]

Great story!!! I would have to say among PNMs my sorority isn't considered "top-tier" but I found exactly what you have found in your sorority! Thanks for sharing!

[kchaptergphib]

changedmylife, I PM'd ya, but if you usually post under a different name, send me a note. I HAVE to know what school this is!

Also, that's kinda an interesting way for them to run informal recruitment. At least they make sure to tell the PNM's ("rushees" at that time?) that they may be offered a bid from more than one org! We had issues with that a couple of years back at Northwestern.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Hi kchaptergphib -

I received your PM. No, it wasn't Minnesota. It was Michigan State. But we Big Ten girls definitely have to stick together around here!

Since I already outed myself on the Auburn thread, I thought I might as well just respond here that this was my story.

I don't know how informal recruitment is done now. As I mentioned on another thread about MSU, almost all of the chapters now do informal recruitment in the winter which was absolutely, positively unthinkable while I was there. But times have apparently changed.

Originally Posted by kchaptergphib

changedmylife, I PM'd ya, but if you usually post under a different name, send me a note. I HAVE to know what school this is!

Also, that's kinda an interesting way for them to run informal recruitment. At least they make sure to tell the PNM's ("rushees" at that time?) that they may be offered a bid from more than one org! We had issues with that a couple of years back at Northwestern.

[Benzgirl]

I also thought it was Minnesota because of the tea cups.

[kchaptergphib]

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

I also thought it was Minnesota because of the tea cups.

I know, right?! I yelled aloud because I was like, "That's my chapter!" And then felt a little bad that Sallie had a sub-par experience there.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

I wanted to look at the web site of the chapter that gave you such a terrific experience...and of course, both AXiD and DDD are gone from MSU. What a shame. Now I know what you mean about the challenges of being a lower-tier group.

Um, this gets a "stay in your lane" stamp.

If Sallie's chapter had been different to the point that it was still there, it might not have been her chapter and done all that it did for her.

Unless you're Greek it's hard to understand this.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by 33girl

If Sallie's chapter had been different to the point that it was still there, it might not have been her chapter and done all that it did for her.

Unless you're Greek it's hard to understand this.

Ok, I'm Greek and I don't understand it.

No, seriously. I'm not sure I understand what you were saying.

Unless you mean that it did what it did for me because it was a lower tier chapter and therefore gave me more opportunities. If that is what you are saying, then I would say this is probably true to some degree.

In some ways the whole tier thing is so crazy because your sorority membership is what you make of it no matter which tier you are in. Unless someone is on a campus where the top tier Greeks have a stranglehold level of control over everything that happens on campus (and I imagine they exist) then there are just too many opportunities for women to not excel and do great things if they truly desire to do so.

For example, while I was there one of my sisters was Panhel president. (Although the "top tier" houses nominated another woman who was much less qualified to run against her because, well, you can't have a Panhel president from a "lower tier" house. But we did and she did a great job.) Another sister was Greek Pledge of the Year. (Yes, the pledge of the year came from a "lower tier" house.) Another one was on homecoming court which was no small feat on a campus the size of MSU with 16 sororities. There were a lot of outstanding women in our chapter who did great things on campus.

So when I hear that women would rather drop out of recruitment and not be Greek than join a "lesser house" it really frustrates me because I know how much they are potentially giving up both during college and for the rest of their lives.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

Unless you mean that it did what it did for me because it was a lower tier chapter and therefore gave me more opportunities. If that is what you are saying, then I would say this is probably true to some degree.

In some ways the whole tier thing is so crazy because your sorority membership is what you make of it no matter which tier you are in.

Well, yes. That's part of it.

If the women before you had not chosen you, and if you had not chosen the women after you, it wouldn't have been the same chapter that you gained so much from. For whatever reason, these women weren't what the campus deemed an "upper tier" chapter. And the women were what made the chapter for you.

I'm also from a closed chapter, and as much as it sucks that we're closed, as much as it sucks that I go back on campus and don't see our letters, I think it would have sucked MORE to see that chapter, with that chapter designation that means something very special, change into something unrecognizable (either through national intervention or just through time). I know some of my friends in other sororities have dealt with this - coming back and looking at the chapter as it is now and realizing that if they'd been going through rush today, they'd NEVER get a bid. That kind of hurts, even if the chapter is "more successful" than it was when you were there.

I know that kind of thing lessens as you get older but I honestly think that we all have a bond from that struggle and it covers a huge age group, much more than I see in some of the stronger groups. The mixers we didn't have back then kind of pale next to the love for each other we have now.

That's why I got kind of annoyed at the "oh no, your chapters closed, how life must suck for you" attidude in the post I quoted.

[Drolefille]

Fuck people who talk about low-tier chapters.

There, I said it. Y'all have about a week before I give in again, give or take a few based on the number of SEC threads I end up reading.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

Where do you get "how life must suck for you" from what I said? I think it is unfortunate that the chapters are gone. If going through a struggle offers such tremendous gifts, then it's a shame that the struggle has ended. Other MSU students aren't able to get the great experience that TDS got. Maybe that's better than the chapter turning into some plastic Barbie dream house, but those aren't the only two possibilities. Plenty of low-tier chapters continue to operate in the low tier for decades. It's too bad that that wasn't the case here.

It just sounded rather condescending, the way you put it. YMMV. KTHXBYE.

[mittens]

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

Ok, I'm Greek and I don't understand it.

No, seriously. I'm not sure I understand what you were saying.

Unless you mean that it did what it did for me because it was a lower tier chapter and therefore gave me more opportunities. If that is what you are saying, then I would say this is probably true to some degree.

In some ways the whole tier thing is so crazy because your sorority membership is what you make of it no matter which tier you are in. Unless someone is on a campus where the top tier Greeks have a stranglehold level of control over everything that happens on campus (and I imagine they exist) then there are just too many opportunities for women to not excel and do great things if they truly desire to do so.

For example, while I was there one of my sisters was Panhel president. (Although the "top tier" houses nominated another woman who was much less qualified to run against her because, well, you can't have a Panhel president from a "lower tier" house. But we did and she did a great job.) Another sister was Greek Pledge of the Year. (Yes, the pledge of the year came from a "lower tier" house.) Another one was on homecoming court which was no small feat on a campus the size of MSU with 16 sororities. There were a lot of outstanding women in our chapter who did great things on campus.

So when I hear that women would rather drop out of recruitment and not be Greek than join a "lesser house" it really frustrates me because I know how much they are potentially giving up both during college and for the rest of their lives.

I completely agree with what you said in bold. Every sorority is that way. However, it's unfortunate that PNMs would rather not be greek than to have such an amazing experience as you did in your chapter. One thing that really made me stay in the sorority, which as I said above didn't seem as desirable to PNMs as other sororities on my campus, is that I could be the change in my sorority. I am so lucky that most of my pledge sisters stayed and also felt the same way as me. One of my sisters told me that her relative could not see her in my sorority. She decided to stay anyway because of the friends and memories she already made during her new member period.

During my rush, there was drop dead gorgeous ladies complimenting AOII and how they would fit in there, but would rather be in a "higher tier" chapter. Even though I can see this being heartbreaking to AOIIs if they heard this, it is also a compliment that these ladies acknowledged my chapter out of the other 7 on my campus. I don't know the reason why they would rather chose the higher tier chapter, maybe they made a connection, maybe it was a superficial reason.

Formal recruitment is coming up at my university and we are extremely excited to see our new pledge class and show them what it is really like to be an AOII. We want a pledge class like mine and the year before. I can see my sorority changing and recognized more. AND it's for the better Hopefully my little story can put a smile on your face at the end of the day knowing that there are PNMs/actives that do not mind being in a "lower-tier" "mid-tier" chapter. I don't give a **** about what people say about me or my chapter because I know how amazing my sisters are.

[DubaiSis]

[QUOTE=TriDeltaSallie;1969039]Hi kchaptergphib -

I received your PM. No, it wasn't Minnesota. It was Michigan State. But we Big Ten girls definitely have to stick together around here!

Funny. It sounded an awful lot like Iowa to me. The Big 10 must be more similar than we even thought!

It sounds like Michigan State is having recruitment issues like Iowa is. Numbers are way down, they're having trouble adjusting to RFM, and massive numbers are dropping out. (or so it appears to me... half way across the world I can't exactly participate daily) If you could only explain to the girls that if they'd consider pledging the small house, it would be LESS SMALL. And then the whole panhellenic there would benefit. I think this year is #3 of RFM, so hopefully some girls will come in more prepared to stick with it. My house, being one of the small ones, certainly hopes so! I hate to hear them struggling for numbers, especially after hearing about the crazy insane recruitment the SEC schools go through.

[AOEforme]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

Funny. It sounded an awful lot like Iowa to me. The Big 10 must be more similar than we even thought!

It is. I had a moment where I thought it was Sconnie.

One of our chapters does the China thing too. I think it's the sweetest tradition.

[NutBrnHair]

Loved the story and enjoyed everyone's comments.

[TriDeltaSallie]

33girl,

That's an interesting perspective I hadn't really considered. I always thought I would be so proud to go back to my chapter if it was thriving and know I played a tiny part in helping it do well. I don't think the not being someone who would get a bid now thing would bother me unless the women were just rude and full of themselves. If they were rude to me as an alumna of that chapter... THAT is what I would find truly offensive.

I think I'd rather have a chapter to return to if given the choice, but I hear what you are saying.

Originally Posted by 33girl

Well, yes. That's part of it.

If the women before you had not chosen you, and if you had not chosen the women after you, it wouldn't have been the same chapter that you gained so much from. For whatever reason, these women weren't what the campus deemed an "upper tier" chapter. And the women were what made the chapter for you.

I'm also from a closed chapter, and as much as it sucks that we're closed, as much as it sucks that I go back on campus and don't see our letters, I think it would have sucked MORE to see that chapter, with that chapter designation that means something very special, change into something unrecognizable (either through national intervention or just through time). I know some of my friends in other sororities have dealt with this - coming back and looking at the chapter as it is now and realizing that if they'd been going through rush today, they'd NEVER get a bid. That kind of hurts, even if the chapter is "more successful" than it was when you were there.

I know that kind of thing lessens as you get older but I honestly think that we all have a bond from that struggle and it covers a huge age group, much more than I see in some of the stronger groups. The mixers we didn't have back then kind of pale next to the love for each other we have now.

That's why I got kind of annoyed at the "oh no, your chapters closed, how life must suck for you" attidude in the post I quoted.