Single ladies, how do you respond to "why aren't you married yet?"

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by twinkle555

My parents asked me this yesterday (actually they told me I was "getting old" and I had to hurry up...Im 23 btw).

I'm finishing my first year of grad school and am approaching 23...I'm "getting old" as well, so I'm right there with ya. I went to a theme park with a guy friend who lives in my apartment building last week. All my friends know I've liked him for months and were so excited that I'm "finally dating."

I told them that wasn't a date, it was a go-see. Definitely not marrying that one, he was such a punk.

[MTSUGURL]

The bonus to me not being married yet: My parents have had time to go to many tasteless or plain out tacky weddings. They also did quite a bit of stuff for my brother's wedding themselves. Their response to this? "Honey, when you get married we'll just pay for whatever you want."
It might me long coming but it'll be pretty...

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by MTSUGURL

The bonus to me not being married yet: My parents have had time to go to many tasteless or plain out tacky weddings. They also did quite a bit of stuff for my brother's wedding themselves. Their response to this? "Honey, when you get married we'll just pay for whatever you want."
It might me long coming but it'll be pretty...

Same here. My dad has said that my potential wedding will be "whatever I want." Of course probably not six figure budget "whatever I want" but enough for me to have something nice. I'd probably just do a small deal anyway (i.e. a Sandals destination wedding or something) and use the rest of the money for a down payment on a home.

[bluefish81]

Ugh, I got too many combinations of "Are you seeing anyone?" "When are you going to get married?'" at a cousin's wedding this weekend that I stopped counting when I hit the double digits. This is why family get-togethers make me ill. And I've got three cousins that are currently engaged - one who's my age, one who's 20 and one who's 21. Yay. I really wanted to be snotty and respond that unlike one of my younger cousins who's already on round two, I'm planning on only doing this once, but I didn't.

[maxdielr]

[FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']I have a lot of combination of "are you seeing anyone?" too”why you don’t have a boyfriend?" my best friend is in a mission of finding me a boyfriend and I hate it, she things I’m that despiser that she brought me a t-shirt that say “dude be my boyfriend” it is pretty funny, the thing is that at this moment of my life I don’t want a bf. I’m focus in school and having fun, I don’t need the jealousy, and the time consuming of relationship and I don’t want to get hurt again. I understand she want me to be happy and don’t feel out of the group, most of my friend are in relationships, but I think I’m capable of finding someone if that is what I wanted to do [/FONT]

[DivineDiva47]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

I'm finishing my first year of grad school and am approaching 23...I'm "getting old" as well, so I'm right there with ya. I went to a theme park with a guy friend who lives in my apartment building last week. All my friends know I've liked him for months and were so excited that I'm "finally dating."

I told them that wasn't a date, it was a go-see. Definitely not marrying that one, he was such a punk.

LOLOL...Yall are a mess how's 23 old? I will be 33 in Sept...now that's a number for ya! Don't even think about marriage until your 30! I promise there's little light that will go on and then your like...who's this woman..smile! Take your time-God will bring him to you just work on you and being the best YOU-you can be!

I Love the "go see" comment! I am gonna have to use that..LOL!

[trideltrockstar]

I do have a boyfriend (of a year) but luckily no one has been asking me when I'm going to get married. I'm 22 and have no plans to get married anytime soon. To me, an ideal time to be married is between 26-30...I want to be sure of myself and what I want in a marriage. Also I want to have experienced life on my own for a little while.

I didn't really meet any one in college that was just looking for their MRS. degree. That might be more of a Southern thing than a Northeast thing?? I don't really know.

[aephi alum]

I have to disagree with those of you who are saying there's a "right age" to get married... whether it's 23, 25, 30, etc. If and when you meet a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, grow old with, maybe raise children with... that's the right time.

[Elephant Walk]

Originally Posted by trideltrockstar

I didn't really meet any one in college that was just looking for their MRS. degree. That might be more of a Southern thing than a Northeast thing?? I don't really know.

Depends on which college, it's a Southern thing. Flagship Universities and really good private colleges are chockfull of these girls. SMU is the worst about this sort of thing in my opinion. Arkansas' got quite a bit ourselves.

[ADqtPiMel]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

I have to disagree with those of you who are saying there's a "right age" to get married... whether it's 23, 25, 30, etc. If and when you meet a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, grow old with, maybe raise children with... that's the right time.

Yeah. I got married at 23. We are very happy and I don't feel like I've ever had to compromise the freedom of my 20s...sometimes we go out together, and sometimes we go out with our individual friends. We travel widely (both together and separately - he's heading to Hong Kong this fall for a legal competition). We've both advanced quickly in our separate and time-consuming careers (journalism for me, law for him). We both have hobbies that the other supports but isn't involved in (triathlons and running for me, photography for him). I'm not sure why y'all seem to feel that you have to be single to do these things. Maybe I'm just lucky I didn't marry a control freak?

I never get the "When are you having kids?" question in DC, but I get it all the time from my dad's family. My dad has 9 brothers and sisters, and all of them except for him still live in the same rural Indiana town they grew up in. Most of them are farmers and married young and started having kids right away to ensure they would have enough farmhands. I am the oldest of 42 grandkids and the first (by one month) to get married, so of course they expected me to be the first to have kids and they were mostly incredulous when I said we were waiting until our 30s. It's just a difference in regional social norms.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

I have to disagree with those of you who are saying there's a "right age" to get married... whether it's 23, 25, 30, etc. If and when you meet a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, grow old with, maybe raise children with... that's the right time.

Maybe I'm not reading this thread correctly, but most of the people who mentioned a "right age" to get married were speaking more of a "right age" to get married for THEM, and not for the other 6.1 billion inhabitants of this planet. I don't see anyone criticizing people who marry early.


I know I'm shocked by the number of people in my HS class who married before 21 and are now divorced. I look at the MySpace pages of my classmates who are in that situation, and they're doing the same stupid stuff at 27 that I did in college and just after--they didn't have that experience when they were younger and it seems to have had a MAJOR impact on their adult lives than it did for me. Did these people get married too early? It's not for me to say. Did they get married before getting certain things out of their system? It appears that way, certainly.

A lot of the posters here who married right out of college or soon after got "those things" out of their system. Even something as simple as joining the Greek system, studying abroad, or just not going straight from Daddy's house to your husband's house can give you a ton of freedom and perspective. Again, the mid-20s divorcees I know did not have those experiences. Coincidence? I think not.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I know I'm shocked by the number of people in my HS class who married before 21 and are now divorced. I look at the MySpace pages of my classmates who are in that situation, and they're doing the same stupid stuff at 27 that I did in college and just after--they didn't have that experience when they were younger and it seems to have had a MAJOR impact on their adult lives than it did for me.

Oh my goodness, the mid 20's divorcees. I LOLed at this because I totally can relate. Quite a few girls from my HS got married before 21 and are now divorced and I agree that it "stunted" them a little bit in the life experiences department.

A girl I know married a Marine at age 20, moved to NC, and decided on being a stay at home mom after they had a little girl. So she didn't go to college. Last year she got a divorce. Her MySpace contains an album entitled "I <3 Jagerbombs and kissing random boys" next to an album of "I love my little girl." I'm pretty sure I had Jagerbombs and randoms out of my system about halfway through college, but she missed out on the part of life where that sort of thing is expected.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by DivineDiva47

LOLOL...Yall are a mess how's 23 old?

We're not, but the nosy family members think we are--that's the joke.

I've decided I'm not looking for anyone to date. If a man falls into my lap, then great, but I think I'd prefer not to date at all until I graduate and move. School takes up too much of my time to go looking for "The One." Besides, I've decided that God hasn't given him to me because he's not ready yet. God knows I deserve more than half-baked! I want him to be done with all his foolishness and ready for a life with me before I meet him. I can wait.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

We're not, but the nosy family members think we are--that's the joke.

I've decided I'm not looking for anyone to date and I'd . If a man falls into my lap, then great, but I think I'd prefer not to date at all until I graduate and move. School takes up too much of my time to go looking for "The One." Besides, I've decided that God hasn't given him to me because he's not ready yet. God knows I deserve more than half-baked! I want him to be done with all his foolishness and ready for a life with me before I meet him. I can wait.

It might just be that you're not ready yet. You have professional (i.e. school and career) and personal things to iron out.

Sure, the man might be getting ready for you, but he might be fully ready and God is having him wait while you get ready. Or you're both not ready.

You won't know until you know. Your post is very mature and patient, though.

[christiangirl]

At first I was , but heck what you said is true. Good perspective, Chaos.

It does make me feel a little better that he might be out there flustered and waiting on me, though. Let me hold onto that one.