UF recruitment fears

gatorkelly · #1 12-30-2012, 03:08 PM

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Old_Row · #2 12-30-2012, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gatorkelly

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I think you should delete your thread because you are giving out too much information about yourself. It sounds like maybe you should see a counselor and work on your self esteem first.

gatorkelly · #3 12-30-2012, 03:56 PM

My self-esteem is perfectly fine in day-to-day life but after what I explained I would think you coud understand why I'm nervous in this situation, as recruitment puts me in a situation where I am very much the minority. I only put as much information as I did so that it might be easier for someone to give me some advice or pointers that would likely be much too vague to be very helpful, which isn't even that much, as you have no idea what my last name is or what I look like.

Old_Row · #4 12-30-2012, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gatorkelly

My self-esteem is perfectly fine in day-to-day life but after what I explained I would think you coud understand why I'm nervous in this situation, as recruitment puts me in a situation where I am very much the minority. I only put as much information as I did so that it might be easier for someone to give me some advice or pointers that would likely be much too vague to be very helpful, which isn't even that much, as you have no idea what my last name is or what I look like.

OK good luck to you then.

ADPiEE · #5 12-30-2012, 04:03 PM

I agree that you should delete this post. I also think you might be overgeneralizing the sororities. Sororities have all types of girls even though it may "seem" different. If you keep an open mind to all sororities on campus, you have a good chance of finding a home.

amIblue? · #6 12-30-2012, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ADPiEE

I agree that you should delete this post. I also think you might be overgeneralizing the sororities. Sororities have all types of girls even though it may "seem" different. If you keep an open mind to all sororities on campus, you have a good chance of finding a home.

This, and if you ask nicely enough, Old Row might delete her QFPs.

There is a home for almost everyone, and a friend who is a member has encouraged you to rush. If she thought you would be a failure, she likely wouldn't have encouraged you to participate.

gatorkelly · #7 12-30-2012, 04:15 PM

I'm still not clear as to why deleting this post is in my best intrest. Like am I really not allowed to express concern over something that is a really big deal to me to the only place where I might get someone who can help me?

Everything I've said is only based in what I've been exposed to. I'm not trying to over generalize, but the only experience I have is from the girls I've seen on campus and the pictures on all the sororities' facebooks and websites, which has been intimidating. I just want some help, and no one has been remotely helpful on this thread so far.

TriDeltaSallie · #8 12-30-2012, 04:21 PM

You told us your height which is relatively unusual. You told us your GPA. This is spring rush with a limited number of chapters and women rushing.

The chapters will know who you are as soon as you walk in the door.

PLEASE do yourself a HUGE favor and delete all of your identifying information. And then kindly ask that those who quoted you delete it as well.

Seriously. We want you to succeed and you have already given yourself one strike in giving out this much info in a public forum.

FSUZeta · #9 12-30-2012, 04:22 PM

It does not matter that you only know two sorority alumnae. You will need recommendations. Do you have any HS friends who are sorority members? They may be able to write a rec. for you, depending on the sorority. If not, they may be able to find an alumna in your area that would write you a rec. There are several "stickied' threads in the Recruitment forum concerning recommendations. You should read them.

As far as looks go, you have to work with what you have. Make yourself as attractive as you can-clean hair-neatly groomed, manicured nails (you don't have to go to a salon), and a cute, comfortable, appropriate outfit-natural looking makeup. Check out the UF Panhellenic website and see if the Fall Formal recruitment guide is still online. Ask any friends in sororities for outfit suggestions.

More important than looks will be the way you present yourself. Sororities are looking for confident, friendly, self assured women. Practice your conversation skills and formulate some questions that you can fall back on if conversation ever lags. Depending on who you are paired with at the sorority houses, you may have to take the lead in the conversation.

Think about what you bring to the table. Why should the sorority offer you a bid? What qualities do you have that would help make the sorority better?

UF Panhellenic usually has a recruitment presentation sometime in January. If you have not already done so, contact the Panhellenic office when you return to Gainesville and sign up for recruitment and find out the date for the recruitment presentation. The presentation is a group meeting where the party format/schedule is revealed and the process is explained. You will learn which sororities are able to participate in spring recruitment. Spring recruitment is really different from formal recruitment in the fall-a much more relaxed atmosphere.

Good Luck!

TriDeltaSallie · #10 12-30-2012, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gatorkelly

I'm still not clear as to why deleting this post is in my best intrest. Like am I really not allowed to express concern over something that is a really big deal to me to the only place where I might get someone who can help me?

It isn't that people don't want to help you. People here are incredibly helpful. But we also know that advertising that you are struggling with self-esteem issues as it relates to going through recruitment isn't going to help you if the chapters see it. You will be known as the tall girl who was afraid to go through recruitment.

Although my situation was a bit different, I do understand to a certain extent what you are saying. It took me a year and a half to work up the courage to go through rush and it took some major hand-holding on the part of a co-worker. You can read my story in my signature.

But if you are bright, talkative, well-groomed, open-minded, and have a solid reputation, you should have a good shot at finding a sorority home. And any group that would hold your height against you isn't a group you would want to join anyways.

Old_Row · #11 12-30-2012, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gatorkelly

I'm still not clear as to why deleting this post is in my best intrest. Like am I really not allowed to express concern over something that is a really big deal to me to the only place where I might get someone who can help me?

Everything I've said is only based in what I've been exposed to. I'm not trying to over generalize, but the only experience I have is from the girls I've seen on campus and the pictures on all the sororities' facebooks and websites, which has been intimidating. I just want some help, and no one has been remotely helpful on this thread so far.

OK I'm going to spell it out to you.

Your user name probably contains your real name.

You told us your size, height and gpa, and if you are to be believed about the appearance of UF sorority members, you could be picked out of a crowd pretty easy especially in a smaller spring rush with lots fewer spots available.

You said some pretty generalized stereotypes about sororities at your school which looks a little negative. I could also start to think that you care too much about tiers and such because you sounded maybe too concerned about which houses are rushing and not keeping an open mind.

You talk about all the ways you think you won't fit in and it makes you sound like you have poor self esteem which isn't exactly something a sorority looks for in a PNM.

You got a little snippy when I tried to help and suggest a counselor to help you out beforehand. That makes you look like you might be unpleasant especially after the comment about how miserable you were first semester.

These things may not be true but this is on the internet and people making rush decisions may come to wrong conclusions.

We are only trying to help but you aren't exactly cooperating.

IndianaSigKap · #12 12-30-2012, 05:26 PM

Going to focus on positive advice...you said your friend in a sorority suggested that you sign up. I think that's a positive sign. If I didn't feel like someone I knew from class or the dorms was a good fit for Greek life then I did not suggest it to them.

As far as your size goes, a women can look good at any size as long as she knows how to dress for her shape. A close friend of mine was a 16-18 and always looked much bigger due to her clothing choices. She would choose longer tops thinking she was hiding problem areas, when in fact, she was making the problem worse. There are cute, flattering clothing styles for ALL body types, but knowing what to pick out can be difficult. Or picking the right colors or accessories can be tricky for some people. if you look good, it's natural to feel more confident in a social situation. Is there a friend with good taste you can take shopping with you? If not, some stores offer personal shopping services for either free or a small fee. Overall, try to focus on the positives: you have a strong GPA, friends in chapters, good reputation, etc. See if you can do some networking in your hometown to find recs. Ask teachers, friends' parents, church friends, etc. Best wishes to you!

WhiteRose1912 · #13 12-30-2012, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndianaSigKap

As far as your size goes, a women can look good at any size as long as she knows how to dress for her shape. A close friend of mine was a 16-18 and always looked much bigger due to her clothing choices. She would choose longer tops thinking she was hiding problem areas, when in fact, she was making the problem worse. There are cute, flattering clothing styles for ALL body types, but knowing what to pick out can be difficult. Or picking the right colors or accessories can be tricky for some people. if you look good, it's natural to feel more confident in a social situation. Is there a friend with good taste you can take shopping with you? If not, some stores offer personal shopping services for either free or a small fee.

It could also be helpful to look up What Not to Wear suggestions for women who look similar to you. After nine seasons, I'm sure they've offered "style rules" for just about all of the body types out there.

greekdee · #14 12-30-2012, 05:43 PM

Many girls are nervous about recruitment. It's understandable, especially when heading into these big , competitive recruitments like you see in the SEC. Most do find their home, though. Of those who don't, in the majority of cases it's because the girls voluntarily withdrew from the process.

Once you start visiting sororities, you will see that many different women make up the Greek system. Make the most of what you have, enhance your strengths, dress in clothes that flatter, be friendly and move with confidence.

You need to be working on getting recs, though! Spring recruitment at your school is coming up quickly.

The reason Greek Chat members cautioned you about your post is that sorority members are active on these boards as well. Some post and some only observe, but they are out here. While it is fine to ask questions and seek advice, it's best to reveal as little about yourself as possible, as something negative (even unintentional) can jeopardize your recruitment.

Titchou · #15 12-30-2012, 06:36 PM

Everyone is nervous during recruitment - worried about saying or doing the wrong thing or not saying or doing the right thing. And frankly, you are doing the same thing you think the sorority women are doing - judging solely on physique. You want them to see the confident, intelligent, well-rounded young lady that you are - then, do them a favor and view them in the same light. It will serve you well.

Call the PH office as soon as you return to school and get the information to sign up for events that may be open. In the meantime, be looking for recs. Network with peers and adults like you have never networked before. Any woman who attended any college is a potential contact.