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  #1  
Old 02-11-2006, 07:37 PM
in_the_zone in_the_zone is offline
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in need of advice from a phi sig whose been there...

Hey ladies...

I'm struggling with my experience as a Phi Sig. The main issue is that as long as I am on campus, I'm a part of the group. Once I leave, it seems like no one really wants to hang out. I try to plan outings for us, but I get shot down most of the time. I realize that it takes persistance, but its almost as if we have a hard time relating period. A lot of the girls don't have the same interests as me and have made comments about shopping, traveling, or going out at night (all negative) that make me not want to keep trying. I could try to connect with them through my interests, dance for example, but I either don't get a response or I get the "no money" excuse.

I know I am a shy person so that will may be part of the issue, but I find building relationships almost impossible when the girls don't seem to want to relate to my interests.

I'm starting to feel like I don't belong in this group....any thoughts?

in_the_zone

Last edited by in_the_zone; 02-12-2006 at 08:43 AM.
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  #2  
Old 02-12-2006, 12:52 PM
phisigduchesscv phisigduchesscv is offline
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Re: in need of advice from a phi sig whose been there...

Quote:
Originally posted by in_the_zone
Hey ladies...

I'm struggling with my experience as a Phi Sig. The main issue is that as long as I am on campus, I'm a part of the group. Once I leave, it seems like no one really wants to hang out. I try to plan outings for us, but I get shot down most of the time. I realize that it takes persistance, but its almost as if we have a hard time relating period. A lot of the girls don't have the same interests as me and have made comments about shopping, traveling, or going out at night (all negative) that make me not want to keep trying. I could try to connect with them through my interests, dance for example, but I either don't get a response or I get the "no money" excuse.

I know I am a shy person so that will may be part of the issue, but I find building relationships almost impossible when the girls don't seem to want to relate to my interests.

I'm starting to feel like I don't belong in this group....any thoughts?

in_the_zone
I understand how you feel a bit. I joined Phi Sig as a graduate student and I'm glad I did even though I was older than many of the women in the chapter. We all would hang out at school down in the student union. When it came time to do things off campus there were really only 1 or 2 that I would hang out with because they were the ones who shared my interest. One of those women was my best friend who joined after I did.

The sisters would plan mixers, go to dances, and go to fraternity sponsored parties at other campuses. Or they would talk about going to Rosarito for Spring Break. They'd make a point to invite me. I'd think great and with them fun, but I never went. We were at different places in life and I don't feel the need to go do the partying thing. That was fine with me and with the chapter sisters.

There were 30 plus women in my chapter while I was active we all have different personlities and tempermants, but we all have the common bond of being Phi Sigma Sigma's and nothing will change that. I work on campus and see the new members wearing letters. For those that don't know me, if I'm wearing letters they will come up and say hi and introduce themselves. From then on if they see me on campus they make a point to say hi and come over to talk. We've got a connection that most people don't have and won't be able to understand unless they were Greek themselves.

There were times I'd wonder what I was doing as a 30 something active in collegiate chapter. But I made a lot of good friends no matter the age difference. Also, I remembered what drew me to the sorority and why I joined Phi Sigma Sigma.

Think back to how you felt at Initiation to help you remember. Most of all though, remember Phi Sigma Sigma is more than just the chapter you joined. It is all the Collegeiate and Alumnae members and chapters. It is Headquarters and the Foundation. Most of it all, it is thousands of sisters that you are connected with all over the world even if you don't know them personally.

Carolyn
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IG - CKA
Vice Archon - So. LA County Alumnae Chapter

Last edited by phisigduchesscv; 02-12-2006 at 12:57 PM.
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  #3  
Old 02-14-2006, 06:28 PM
MooseGirl MooseGirl is offline
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I agree with what Carolyn suggests.

Also, try starting by just asking one - your sapphire? - to one little thing. Maybe even a study date if $ is their excuse. Just work at getting one or 2 sisters to go out with you, and then work on the whole group later. So concentrate and focus your efforts on a couple sisters.

You say you have diff interests so see what they like and try something they like, and then maybe you'll be able to convince them to give your events a try.

Just don't give up!
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  #4  
Old 02-19-2006, 11:50 PM
phisigsparkle6 phisigsparkle6 is offline
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And also remember that this is the basis on which our sorority was founded on...diversity! Our ten founders came from different religious backgrounds and formed Phi Sigma Sigma as the first non-sectarian sorority. Instead of looking at all of our differences negatively, embrace our diversity and see what you can learn from it! Best of luck!

LITP
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  #5  
Old 08-11-2008, 01:33 PM
AimHigher AimHigher is offline
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Our chapter is having a similar problem but we've tried to do alot of smaller events that have grown to be bigger things.

A couple months ago I planned a pancake breakfast. I bought the pancake stuff (it was only about $10) and had sisters over. It was afforable for me to host and everyone had a great time. I think we might be having them more often once the semester starts.
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