FYI Disappointed Moms - Page 3

KSUViolet06 · #1 08-26-2011, 08:28 PM

That's why I ended my post with a note saying that sending Suzy to camp the summer before senior year is not going to get her a bid. I knew I had to include that because I can FEEL a parent out there thinking that exact thought.

Or pushing Suzy to try out for dance as a junior because all the dance girls pledge ABC at college and she needs to get in with the senior girls NOW.

I just know someone is thinking it. lol.

Lightning Bug! · #2 08-26-2011, 09:40 PM

Not to derail the camp thing (since I brought it up), but the College Town visits are pretty significant also. From my recent rec writing for UGA girls, a LOT of those girls have spent time in Athens before Fall semester. Or at beach weekends with sorority members. Younger and older members of the same soccer team, or church group, or camp, or just same high school...whatever the situation. Or a senior in high school went to some fraternity ball with an older guy friend and met sisters there. I absolutely am not making dirty rushing accusations, because this is just friendship that goes back before anything that could be considered dirty rushing. And no, it doesn't happen with every PNM or sorority. But it happens a LOT more than I imagined it did - and I would have been in trouble if I had rushed at UGA in 2011, because my mama would NEVER have let me go off to Athens unchaperoned before my freshman year of college!

Anyway, probably this thread should be entitled "The Power of Networking," and yes, it would be great if helimoms read it, but as you all have pointed out, it is too late to do anything about networking if you are two weeks away from recruitment. I just hope that it gives moms some perspective, and they can prepare their daughters, for just what the playing field looks like. Again, this should NOT discourage anyone from rushing - it just helps explain the field better so daughters don't wonder what they did wrong. At some competitive schools, one time out of ten it is bad rushing game (shy, obnoxious, rude) or reputation, one time out of ten it is grades or non-freshman status, one time out of ten it is not maximizing their options, and seven times out of ten it is that there wasn't anyone in the house who already knew you and fought for you (or not enough people to fight for you). That's all. PNM likely didn't do anything wrong. She just didn't have the power of networking working for her.

Low C Sharp · #3 08-26-2011, 10:17 PM

Quote:

I've dealt with quite few smaller schools where I think the networking aspect is just as important.

This is how it works in the Ivy League, too. The eating clubs at Princeton, final clubs at Harvard, secret societies at Yale and Penn...people went to camp and prep school and Head of the Charles together their whole lives. Their dads brought them to football games and reunions and they met their dads' friends and their dads' friends' kids. Sure, some unknown people impress the members as freshmen and get invited to join, but a lot of club spots are effectively spoken for before anyone gets to college.

Lightning Bug! · #4 08-27-2011, 02:21 PM

^^^Yes, so...

Disappointed moms, if you suspect lack of networking was a big part of what worked against your daughter during recruitment, then encourage her to GET INVOLVED on campus and in College Town so she can start learning about the power of building connections through participation in various communities. It will serve her well for the rest of her life!

DubaiSis · #5 08-28-2011, 02:00 AM

I think we can shift the paradigm and think out of the box about how to network. HA!

I accept the term network, just like I use the phrase "working the room" as a description for what you do at a cocktail party or chamber of commerce function. I consider it shorthand for what you do, not a derogatory or predatory thing.

And I think the older you get (but maybe this is trending younger?) the more you seek friends with purpose. Probably because it's harder to make friends the older you get, but I don't ever remember saying as a kid, oooh, I could be friends with her, and working toward that goal. But as an adult (particularly having to start from scratch in a foreign country) it happens ALL THE TIME. So yes, I network for my friends.

DeltaBetaBaby · #6 08-28-2011, 12:32 PM

Re: Networking

Networking is also making a positive impression on acquaintances. I'll use the summer camp example earlier in the thread. Let's say there are three cabins of girls your age. Maybe you are only "friends" with the girls in your own cabin, but if the girls in the other two cabins know your name and think you are nice, they are part of your network.

jazing · #7 09-25-2011, 03:49 PM

I think for sororities they also have to take into consideration just how large the recruiting class really is. At my college, there were about 500 hopefuls and only 5 sororities (Alpha Delta Pi, Theta Phi Alpha, etc.). Theta has a pledge class of over 60. If all 5 took that many, there would still be 200 not taken in.

psusue · #8 09-25-2011, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jazing

I think for sororities they also have to take into consideration just how large the recruiting class really is. At my college, there were about 500 hopefuls and only 5 sororities (Alpha Delta Pi, Theta Phi Alpha, etc.). Theta has a pledge class of over 60. If all 5 took that many, there would still be 200 not taken in.

If the school is using Release Figures Management (or RFM), which most schools are now, that is not an issue. Quota (or the number of women each chapter can take during formal recruitment) is the number of potential new members left by preference night divided by the number of sororities.

Therefore it would not matter if it were 1000 PNMs and 5 sororities, if all 1000 attended preference night and ranked all three choices on her MRABA card (also called pref card, bid card, etc), she will receive a bid to one of the three sororities listed. Thus, the new member classes would be 200 women each (in this example).

jazing · #9 09-25-2011, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psusue

If the school is using Release Figures Management (or RFM), which most schools are now, that is not an issue. Quota (or the number of women each chapter can take during formal recruitment) is the number of potential new members left by preference night divided by the number of sororities.

Therefore it would not matter if it were 1000 PNMs and 5 sororities, if all 1000 attended preference night and ranked all three choices on her MRABA card (also called pref card, bid card, etc), she will receive a bid to one of the three sororities listed. Thus, the new member classes would be 200 women each (in this example).

Thank you for dispelling that myth then.

Always AlphaGam · #10 09-25-2011, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jazing

Thank you for dispelling that myth then.

There are no "myths" involved. This is how SORORITY recruitment happens.

As stated earlier, you'd best stay in your lane.

amIblue? · #11 09-25-2011, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jazing

I think for sororities they also have to take into consideration just how large the recruiting class really is. At my college, there were about 500 hopefuls and only 5 sororities (Alpha Delta Pi, Theta Phi Alpha, etc.). Theta has a pledge class of over 60. If all 5 took that many, there would still be 200 not taken in.

No, that's not how NPC recruitment works at all. You're new here, and also new to Greek life. Stay in your lane, please.

KSUViolet06 · #12 09-25-2011, 07:38 PM

^^^That.

It bugs me when people (particularly sorority members who are probably just trying to make girls who didn't get bids or didn't get their top choice feel better) say things like "oh well you know recruitment was SO tough this year! There were like 600 girls going through and the sororities just couldn't take them all."

That's a myth. It doesn't matter how many girls there are in formal recruitment. The numbers are set to place as many women as possible.

carnation · #13 06-26-2013, 09:12 PM

I hope that a lot of 2013 moms and daughters are reading this!

seaquin · #14 05-25-2014, 10:23 PM

I'm glad this kind of nepotism and favoritism doesn't exist in my organization.

LAblondeGPhi · #15 05-26-2014, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seaquin

I'm glad this kind of nepotism and favoritism doesn't exist in my organization.

Please don't try to sound holier than thou on this one. When I was an undergrad, I may have had the same feelings you do now, but I've really changed my mind in the last few years. There's a reason they say "it's not what you know, it's who you know".

First of all, the power of pre-existing relationships and networking IS happening in your chapter - just on a different level. Calling it "nepotism and favoritism" is making an issue black and white that is far from it. You're also implying that women are being robbed of something, like a spot in a top chapter that they have the "stats" for. We've already gone over this- recruitment is not about some absolute list of good, better, best PNMs - it's about personality fit and so very many intangibles.

Additionally, why would you ever demean the importance of having someone be able to vouch for you? Even with something like a job interview or school admissions, there are far too many intangibles (like personality, determination, work ethic, etc) that are hard to completely vet in an application process. That's why so many jobs are filled by applicants who are recommended by an employee.

Networking is a powerful life skill and life tool. It has a legitimate place in most orgs.