Concerns. . .

[mgdzkm433]

I have some concerns. I've noticed a lot of talk about rush and recruitment. Most are very 'excited' prospectives, which is good. My concern is reasoning why people are rushing. All the talk is going in the direction of 'what to wear' and 'who to rush' and 'will I fit in'. These are all questions that bother me. To me all these questions are useless and frankly, the wrong questions to be asking. Am I the only one that feels this way? I know that sororities/fraternities have been viewed as parties, parties, and more parties. But I'm worried that in this day, more people are not joining for philanthropy, networking, etc etc. I'm concerned that people are joining just to be in the 'in' crowd. I've noticed lots of sisters that are even suggesting to prospectives to 'look the part' for rush, to me this adds to the fake image of sorority/fraternity life. Am I the only one who thinks this? Anyway, I've noticed less veterans posting on the 'RUSH' board and I think that we as alumni should be concerned. What I'm saying is, I think that we should be on that board pushing the right reasons to join a sorority/fraternity. WE KNOW the hard work that it takes to keep up a sorority/fraternity. What do you all think?

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Mikki
Delta Zeta Alum
Kappa Mu Chapter
Sigma Alpha Iota Alum
Eta Tau Chapter

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

--Lao Tzu

[33girl]

Hey Mikki!

I quasi-responded to some of your concerns in the "advice to rushees" thread.

I think one of the things to remember is that in the thread you commented on, it was written by SOUTHERN theta. Rush at southern & big midwestern schools is a whole different animal then at a smaller northern or western school.

Your school/Greek life sounds a lot like mine was. During rush, cocktail dresses never appeared, and the one time we got a reccommendation the collective response was "Duh?"

Remember also...a lot of these prospectives are just out of high school, and some of them have not even had a college class yet. How you could have any idea what to expect or do in rush, I haven't the faintest...but expounding on that is a topic for another day. (condescending generalization ahead) At that age, I would have been aksing the "what to wear" questions too.

One way of rush isn't "good" and one isn't "bad"...they're just different.

[SoCalGirl]

I too have been concerned with the amount of some of the questions lately. But it's completely natural to be nervous, and knowing the answers to "what to wear" can allow a girl to relax and be herself.

I mean if the dress is casual and she shows up in jeans while everyone else is in khakis or sundresses; she'll probably stress about it and the members won't be able to get to know her. If she knew that jeans were too casual she could make a better informed decision about what to wear. If she still wants to wear them, great. If not, that's fine too.

When someone asks "who to rush" or "who's the coolest" I take this as they are young, and they are normal. Society teaches us that we should at the very least WANT to be the best.
But these girls (and guys) need to realize that even houses that seem to be on top can have major drama. You could think that you're joining the best house only to discover that all the members are unhappy. I've seen major chunks of chapters leave over a lot of house politics.

I agree that members should join for the philanthropy & sisterhood, not the parties and guys. But if that isn't why a girl is joining; a chapter should be able to see that. That's why I keep suggestions about what the answers to questions should be at a minimum and very general. I just don't want a girl regurgitating everything we say about service and sisterhood so that she can fool the girls.

But I do think it's okay to warn her about what questions to expect. It's tough being put on the spot in a room filled with 100 other nervous girls. Anything I can do to make them feel comfortable so that they can BE THEMSELVES, I'll do it.

Also as a board we should start showing that its not all about socials and rush. Academics, fundraising and commnity service have the least posts. What does this say to prospectives?

[mgdzkm433]

I realize that rush is different in different areas. For one, when I joined, I went through informal rush. I knew who I wanted to join, so I didn't even attend the other sororities rush parties. However, some people might disagree that I should have attended all the rush parties, I was more interested in Delta Zeta because of their national philanthropy. I was a music major, and Delta Zeta's national philanthropy is to aid the hearing impaired--opposites? Not really, how wonderful would it be to work with someone who is deaf and see that brightness when they realized that what they had encountered was music? God what a great feeling! Maybe because I was so caught up in the 'high' feeling I got from doing something good, I want ALL the prospetive girls to be. So far, I haven't felt that at all.

[DGMomofZeta]

As a person who went through rush and pledged in the early 70's and has a daughter who pledged two weeks ago, I would like to comment. We all know that a big part of sorority membership is service, grades and all the other stuff that is enduring. When I went through rush on both ends I always hated the superficial aspect. It was as hard to choose new sisters as to pick a group for yourself. But when you do not have deferred rush and a chance to get to know people ahead of time, face it, unfortunately our human nature is to go on first impressions. Appearance is a big part of that.Like a few mentioned, for teenage girls going to college for the first time, they want to wear the right thing and make the right impression. Even though my daughter is extremely confident and had a great rush experience, got no cuts at all, I know she was nervous. She went to Texas from California and her clothes and appearance were a little different. Luckily, she used that as an asset, and also both her prefs have pretty good GPA's on campus and good philanthropies.
Anyway, I agree that inner qualities should be considered more than outer ones. I don't think anyone would dispute that. But, as in the job market, or other social situations, it is a fact that first impressions count.
I would also add that I have done extensive alumni advising over the years and alums during rush do stress the "big picture" when it comes to choosing sisters.

[Q-T Pie]

Originally posted by mgdzkm433:
I realize that rush is different in different areas. For one, when I joined, I went through informal rush. I knew who I wanted to join, so I didn't even attend the other sororities rush parties. However, some people might disagree that I should have attended all the rush parties, I was more interested in Delta Zeta because of their national philanthropy.

I'm really glad you posted this. I know it's late for this, but I will be going through informal rush this spring, & pretty much know which sorority I am interested in. I will say that the continual flow of superficial questions made me wonder about those my age. I have thought about these things as well, but not to that great of an extent As Barbara can tell you, I e-mailed her all of stress about the spring. My biggest issue was that I was first interested in the philanthropy & later found out that it just happened to be the "top" sorority on campus. I was scared to death that I wouldn't fit in or that I'd be accepted only to find out that it wasn't right for me.

I just want to thank ya'll for posting all of this & to let ya'll know that one prospective rushee is a little more at ease about the spring & not worried about what to wear!

Allison


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A mistake at least proves that somebody stopped talking long enough to do something.
~ Anonymous