Should I rush?

[beachbunny]

Hi everyone,

This upcoming year I will be a sophomore at a big southern university with a very competitive rush. I didn't even consider rushing my freshman year because I (stupidly!) assumed Greek life wasn't for me - but this past semester I met some girls in one of the sororities on campus and visited their house a few times. I really admired their sisterhood and pride in their sorority and now I'm thinking about rushing an NPC sorority myself.

The only problem is that my grandmother is struggling with cancer and so my family has planned a vacation for us all to go and visit her - for the exact same week as rush.

I'm really struggling with whether I should rush or not because I know that this is probably my last chance to see my grandmother and be together with the whole family, but I also would like to rush - and because rush at my school is so competitive, I feel like this might be my last chance to do that successfully as well. Many of the sororities on my campus don't participate in informal spring rush, and I've heard that it is very hard (if not impossible) to get a bid as a junior.

My family is really against Greek life in general (they haven't even given it a chance!), so I'm not a legacy of any organizations, and I'm from a small town in a different state from my school so we don't have an alum group. I'm not sure where I should turn to get references - I feel like it's something I should really try to do. I do have one letter from an alum who works with my dad and also one from a friend who is an active at another school's chapter (should I bother to send this in? I'm not sure if it will even be considered since she is an active and not an alum).

I'm also not exactly the most confident person in the world - I've been working on this but I'm still not sure I have anything special that would shine through during rush. Any suggestions for getting OVER THIS (cause I know I need to!)?

I'm sorry for being so whiny about this, but I just feel like there is nowhere else I can turn - my friends and family aren't really supportive of me in this. Thank you all in advance for any advice you can offer!

[PhoenixAzul]

is there any chance of COB/COR recruitment at your school?

[beachbunny]

I called the Greek life office and they said that while there is always a CHANCE, it doesn't happen very often.

[PenguinTrax]

If you ever want your family to be at all supportive of your decision to become involved in a GLO, you should visit your grandmother.

In the interim, work on your confidence/public speaking issues (take advantage of counseling services on campus) and then participate in COB/COR in either the Fall or Spring.

[Zillini]

Family is much more important than any GLO. If it was just a "regular" family vacation, I'd say go through Recruitment. But since it is to visit your ailing Grandmother and this may be the last chance you will ever have, go see her. If you don't you will regret it for the rest of your life.

I appreciate your desire to go through Recruitment, but sometimes we must make sacrifices for those things that are truly important in life. In this case that should be your Grandmother.

Who knows, maybe a house you are interested in will be able to COR in spring or you could try as a Junior, even though I understand your chances will be less likely. You could spend this next year becoming close with members of 1 or 2 houses and your chances will greatly improve. But even if joining a GLO isn't in the cards for you, don't get hung up on it. They are wonderful to be a part of, but the world won't come to an end if you aren't.

[BGKdLady]

Is it possible for you to go visit your grandmother before the family trip? I agree, family is way more important, but maybe your grandmother would appreciate a quiet more personal visit from just you even more??? Just a thought.

[33girl]

Originally posted by BGKdLady
Is it possible for you to go visit your grandmother before the family trip? I agree, family is way more important, but maybe your grandmother would appreciate a quiet more personal visit from just you even more??? Just a thought.

That's a REALLY good idea.

If your grandma is like most grandmas I know, she'd be beside herself if she knew you didn't do something you wanted to do because of her.

as far as recs, go to npcwomen.org and find the local alum panhel nearest to you - they can help you get started.

[sugar and spice]

This is a really tough situation.

I'm not going to blow sunshine up your butt -- at a competitive Southern school where COR is rare, this probably IS your last chance to join. And while family is important, if your grandma is anything like mine, she would want you to go through recruitment. There is a chance that if you go to visit your grandma that week, you would regret not having the chance to join a sorority for years afterwards.

However, the same could go in reverse -- if you decide to rush that week and you don't ever get to see your grandma again, you may regret THAT for the rest of your life. And as rush is generally a week that requires all of your positive energy and doesn't have a lot of room for distraction, your rush may be affected if you're continually distracted by your grandma's situation (which is absolutely normal!).

I agree that if it's possible, planning a separate trip a little earlier would be the best answer, but if that's not possible, I'm not really sure what to tell you. It's a tough decision either way.

[tunatartare]

Originally posted by sugar and spice
This is a really tough situation.

I'm not going to blow sunshine up your butt -- at a competitive Southern school where COR is rare, this probably IS your last chance to join. And while family is important, if your grandma is anything like mine, she would want you to go through recruitment. There is a chance that if you go to visit your grandma that week, you would regret not having the chance to join a sorority for years afterwards.

However, the same could go in reverse -- if you decide to rush that week and you don't ever get to see your grandma again, you may regret THAT for the rest of your life. And as rush is generally a week that requires all of your positive energy and doesn't have a lot of room for distraction, your rush may be affected if you're continually distracted by your grandma's situation (which is absolutely normal!).

I agree that if it's possible, planning a separate trip a little earlier would be the best answer, but if that's not possible, I'm not really sure what to tell you. It's a tough decision either way.

What S&S said is true, however, if your family already isn't supportive of your decision to join a sorority, they would be really upset if you went through rush instead of going with them to see your grandma. If you're a sophomore, from what I understand, at a big, competitive, Southern school, your chances of getting a bid are lower. If I was in the same position, I would go visit my grandma rather than risk upsetting my family.

[UKTriDelt]

Originally posted by BGKdLady
Is it possible for you to go visit your grandmother before the family trip? I agree, family is way more important, but maybe your grandmother would appreciate a quiet more personal visit from just you even more??? Just a thought.

My thoughts exactly

[FSUZeta]

i am so glad someone else suggested visiting grandma before the whole gang gets there. it seems the point is to be able to see and spend time with grandma before she dies, not to have a family reunion and see grandma. the visit might be more meaningful for both of you if you go at an earlier date and are able to have some one on one time with her. if i were a grandmother i would rather have the family visits spread out over a period of time, rather than everyone descend on me at once, and i would be very upset if my granddaughter missed out on something because of me. you may have to stand your ground with your family, but if you point out that you would rather spend some time alone with your grandmother and the whole point of the trip is to see her before she dies, then they really do not have
a valid argument. good luck to you.

you should go ahead and register for recruitment and line up those recommendations. as for obtaining recs., advice further up in this thread is excellent.

[doves95]

I agree make time out before and spent a week or 2 with your grandmother so she knows you feel her importance and care.

Regarding recruitment (IE NOT RUSH) any recommendation is vital especially at competitive schools. Current actives and alums can recommend women for membership, if nothing else that will set you apart from other women during the process especially if you have already met some greek women on your campus.

[FSUZeta]

some sororities allow their initiated collegiate members to write recommendations but some, like zta, require an alumna to co-sign a recommendation from a collegiate member.

[cavusdaisy]

If you do decide to go through recruitment, please please please get recs for each chapter! I go to a large southern school that has a very competitive fall recruitment. And many of the chapters here will simply cut you the first day if you don't have a rec for them.

Also, I sent you a PM

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by KLPDaisy
What S&S said is true, however, if your family already isn't supportive of your decision to join a sorority, they would be really upset if you went through rush instead of going with them to see your grandma.

Some families are never going to be supportive of the decision to go Greek. I was lucky in that while my parents never LOVED the decision I made, they went from "What the &%$! were you thinking?" to "You made a decent choice." Some parents will never get there.

If you're eighteen, it's time to start making your own decisions -- not let your parents make them for you.