Do you like his friends?/Do you like her friends?

[I2K Beta Mu]

Fellas, do you like your girl's friends? And to the females on here, do you like dude's friends? I'm asking because my girl doesn't like my friends, and I really don't like hers either. There are reasons for both, but why do you or don't you like you significant other's friends?

My girl says my boys like to kick it too much at the club. We don't do anything while we're there but chill, so I don't know why she has issues with them. I don't really know her friends that well, but I get vibes that they don't like me. My girl has never told me they didn't like me, but I get vibes from them when they see me that they aren't feeling me. Folks who don't like me, I'm automatically not going to like them. Point blank.

For those who have this same problem, how did y'all resolve it. Do you put your significant other before friends you kicked it with before you two met, or do your friends come first? I think it would be pretty fucked up to just dump some friends you kicked it with before you met your significant other. My girl thinks my boys are bad news, but they were my boys before I met her.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by I2K Beta Mu

My girl says my boys like to kick it too much at the club. We don't do anything while we're there but chill, so I don't know why she has issues with them.

By club, do you mean strip club? If so, and if you aren't there for any reason other than to chill, why can't you chill somewhere else? If you weren't referring to strip clubs, all this is obviously irrelevant.

I think it's important to hang out, as a couple, with friends. If neither of you enjoys the company of the friends that the other had prior to establishing the relationship, then you should find ways to meet new friends as a couple.

That said, when I was dating, it was a big red flag for me if my friends/family didn't like the guy I was with. It wasn't automatically a deal-breaker, but those relationships never seemed to work in the end anyway. I think friends have a talent for seeing significant others without the rose-colored glasses that the person in the new relationship often wears.

[I2K Beta Mu]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

By club, do you mean strip club? If so, and if you aren't there for any reason other than to chill, why can't you chill somewhere else? If you weren't referring to strip clubs, all this is obviously irrelevant.

WTF? Why does it matter what kind of club we hang out at? You don't know what it is to "chill?" It means to hang out, relax, kick it with your friends. Do you have places where you hang out (chill) with your friends? Asking me why we can't chill somewhere else was a dumb ass question and doesn't make any sense.

Your stupid comment was "obviously irrelevant."

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by I2K Beta Mu

WTF? Why does it matter what kind of club we hang out at? You don't know what it is to "chill?" It means to hang out, relax, kick it with your friends. Do you have places where you hang out (chill) with your friends? Asking me why we can't chill somewhere else was a dumb ass question and doesn't make any sense.

Your stupid comment was "obviously irrelevant."

...the fuck?

Chill out, dude lol

[I2K Beta Mu]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

...the fuck?

Chill out, dude lol

For real though. How is what I said "irrelevant?" It's a thread simply talking about if you like your girl's friends and does she like your friends/family, etc. That's all it is, then she comes on here talking shit about what I said being irrelevant. WTF? I don't know why she couldn't just reply to the damn thread without asking dumb questions and talking shit, like she usually does.

[christiangirl]

Like I said before...STOP BEING SO DAMN TOUCHY ALL THE TIME.

Sydney asked if "the club" meant strip club because your girlfriend may take issue with where you are, not your friends (if she disapproves of strip clubs). If that is not what you meant, then her suggestion would be irrelevant--she's talking about her own post, not yours. Dolt.

[IrishLake]

Originally Posted by I2K Beta Mu

For real though. How is what I said "irrelevant?" It's a thread simply talking about if you like your girl's friends and does she like your friends/family, etc. That's all it is, then she comes on here talking shit about what I said being irrelevant. WTF? I don't know why she couldn't just reply to the damn thread without asking dumb questions and talking shit, like she usually does.

Your panties in knots or is it something else that makes you have reading comprehension issues? She didn't say shit about what YOU said being irrelevant. Go and read AGAIN and try to comprehend better. She said if you're NOT just "chillin" at a strip club ONLY, then what SHE is saying is irrelevant. Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

[pshsx1]

Originally Posted by I2K Beta Mu

WTF? Why does it matter what kind of club we hang out at? You don't know what it is to "chill?" It means to hang out, relax, kick it with your friends. Do you have places where you hang out (chill) with your friends?

Because if I went out all of the time to the strip club to look at other dude's junk (whether I'm just kickin' it or not), my boyfriend would definitely get irritated. If I was going to a club that had a reputation for heavy hard drug use, my boyfriend would be concerned that I might be getting sucked into that, especially if I'm out 'chillin'" until 3am.

And you can't sit here and tell me that there isn't at least one time (when you go out) that you and your boys don't look at another women and go "damn, look at her."

We obviously have different places where we go out with our friends, otherwise we wouldn't be questioning the club. There have to be other places that you can go. It's even better if she can come out every once in a while. If you really care about her, you would want her to be (hypothetically, not in reality) just about anywhere you are. I love taking out my boyfriend, for instance, because I love spending time with him, I love it when he hits it off with my friends, and I love showing him off and bragging about him.

Take a walk in each others' shoes so you can maybe learn each others' frustrations. You obviously haven't learned that relationships require compromises from both parties involved.


(GC, I apologize for potential misuse of apostrophes)

SN: Yes, this was all about you, Sen. <3

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by pshsx1

Because if I went out all of the time to the strip club to look at other dude's junk (whether I'm just kickin' it or not), my boyfriend would definitely get irritated. If I was going to a club that had a reputation for heavy hard drug use, my boyfriend would be concerned that I might be getting sucked into that, especially if I'm out 'chillin'" until 3am.

And you can't sit here and tell me that there isn't at least one time (when you go out) that you and your boys don't look at another women and go "damn, look at her."

We obviously have different places where we go out with our friends, otherwise we wouldn't be questioning the club. There have to be other places that you can go. It's even better if she can come out every once in a while. If you really care about her, you would want her to be (hypothetically, not in reality) just about anywhere you are. I love taking out my boyfriend, for instance, because I love spending time with him, I love it when he hits it off with my friends, and I love showing him off and bragging about him.

Take a walk in each others' shoes so you can maybe learn each others' frustrations. You obviously haven't learned that relationships require compromises from both parties involved.


(GC, I apologize for potential misuse of apostrophes)

SN: Yes, this was all about you, Sen. <3

Very well said, misused apostrophes and all!

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by I2K Beta Mu

WTF? Why does it matter what kind of club we hang out at? You don't know what it is to "chill?" It means to hang out, relax, kick it with your friends.

Yes, I'm aware of what it means to "chill". If you are hanging out at strip clubs simply for the enjoyment of each others' company, then you can "chill" anywhere. If you're there for the scenery, then don't try to convince her (or others) that you're there just to hang out and relax. You can hang out and relax in lots of places that don't involve scantily clad women.

[cheerfulgreek]

Generally if I don't like a guy's friends, then I'm going to be leery about him. Knowing what types of friends he has tells me some things about who I'm dating. I just think that it's important to see what kind of connection he has with his friends before I make a commitment to him. Where do they hang out? What kinds of things do they enjoy doing together? etc. As the old saying goes "Birds of a feather flock together", and I truly believe that. To me, a man's friends can tell me a lot about what I haven't seen in him. It's just that I believe they reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he's on good behavior. The bottom line for me, and what I believe in a lot of cases, is that a man is like his friends –that's why they are his friends.

We don't have a problem with each others friends at all. I like his friends and he likes mine. His friends like me, and my friends like him. I mean, his closest friends are married, and mine are too, so we generally go out as couples most of the time, when we are around them. Sometimes, I'll go out to eat, or go to the mall with my friends if we aren't doing things together as couples. It just depends on the day or what we have planned.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by IrishLake

Your panties in knots or is it something else that makes you have reading comprehension issues? She didn't say shit about what YOU said being irrelevant. Go and read AGAIN and try to comprehend better. She said if you're NOT just "chillin" at a strip club ONLY, then what SHE is saying is irrelevant. Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

[psusue]

I mean I'm still best friends with my ex's friends, but that's because we were all in the same friend group. I think you can tell a lot about a person though about how they treat their friends though. For example if they aren't the best communicators with their friends/roommates, you can bet they won't be with you once the honeymoon stage is over, etc. You can also tell a lot about a person by how they act to and with their family members, and conversely they can tell a lot about you with yours.

On the whole I don't think you need to necessarily be best friends with all of their friends but it certainly helps. And I think you absolutely need to have a baseline of respect for them, even if you don't like them, because otherwise it would be hard to sustain a relationship with your SO. Especially if you're on a long term/marriage track, these people are obviously important to both of you and it makes life a lot easier if you all can at least tolerate one another, IMO. And if you like each other/enjoy spending time with one another, so much the better, I think.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Generally if I don't like a guy's friends, then I'm going to be leery about him. Knowing what types of friends he has tells me some things about who I'm dating. I just think that it's important to see what kind of connection he has with his friends before I make a commitment to him. Where do they hang out? What kinds of things do they enjoy doing together? etc. As the old saying goes "Birds of a feather flock together", and I truly believe that. To me, a man's friends can tell me a lot about what I haven't seen in him. It's just that I believe they reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he's on good behavior. The bottom line for me, and what I believe in a lot of cases, is that a man is like his friends –that's why they are his friends.

We don't have a problem with each others friends at all. I like his friends and he likes mine. His friends like me, and my friends like him. I mean, his closest friends are married, and mine are too, so we generally go out as couples most of the time, when we are around them. Sometimes, I'll go out to eat, or go to the mall with my friends if we aren't doing things together as couples. It just depends on the day or what we have planned.

I agree. You tend to be friends with people who have a lot in common with you, not just activities you enjoy, but lifestyles, values, etc. so it would seem odd to not like each other's friends or be disliked by their friends.

[I2K Beta Mu]

Originally Posted by IrishLake

Your panties in knots or is it something else that makes you have reading comprehension issues? She didn't say shit about what YOU said being irrelevant. Go and read AGAIN and try to comprehend better. She said if you're NOT just "chillin" at a strip club ONLY, then what SHE is saying is irrelevant. Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

CTFU! Hey y'all, I was fucked up when I typed that shit, and I was drunk as hell the night before. I just looked at some of what I typed in the dating thread, and started cracking up. I remember writing the shit, but damn LOL. My bad, y'all.

Originally Posted by SydneyK

Yes, I'm aware of what it means to "chill". If you are hanging out at strip clubs simply for the enjoyment of each others' company, then you can "chill" anywhere. If you're there for the scenery, then don't try to convince her (or others) that you're there just to hang out and relax. You can hang out and relax in lots of places that don't involve scantily clad women.

I was drunk as hell when I typed that shit you. I owe you an apology. My bad. That Hennessy ain't no joke LOL. But I wasn't talking about strip clubs. We hang out at night clubs. Sometimes we go to strip clubs, but that's usually on special occasions.

On the flip side of that. What about family? Do y'all get along with your significant other's family? Do they like him/her? I don't know my girl's family all that well. I met her mom and her sister. I haven't met her pop's yet. They seem to be pretty cool, and she hasn't told me they have issues with me, just her friends trip like that. My mom is easy going as hell with the females I've brought to the crib. I don't think I've ever brought a female home she started trippin about.