Advice for PNMs: Not getting a bid to your 1st choice. - Page 4

Gatorbaby · #1 10-15-2010, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

Was that supposed to make a disappointed new member feel better?

Perhaps I miscommunicated.
My point is this: Despite all of those other houses dropping me, I did get my first choice which happened to be a house with a strong presence and substantial respect on-campus.
No matter what happens, it happens for the best and I'm happy now.
My intention wasn't to make a disappointed new member feel anything but what was realistic to feel from the Rush process - sometimes people like you and sometimes they don't. Houses drop you and sometimes they don't. Those that don't drop you are worth your time, energy, and effort because they want to invest the aforementioned things in you as well! Don't take the process personally.
That's all.

FSUZeta · #2 10-15-2010, 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gatorbaby

Perhaps I miscommunicated.
My point is this: Despite all of those other houses dropping me, I did get my first choice which happened to be a house with a strong presence and substantial respect on-campus.
No matter what happens, it happens for the best and I'm happy now.
My intention wasn't to make a disappointed new member feel anything but what was realistic to feel from the Rush process - sometimes people like you and sometimes they don't. Houses drop you and sometimes they don't. Those that don't drop you are worth your time, energy, and effort because they want to invest the aforementioned things in you as well! Don't take the process personally.
That's all.

good advice, new sister. happy founders day!

DeltaBetaBaby · #3 10-15-2010, 09:09 AM

Another thing that is tough is when Suzie PNM down the hall gets into your first choice, and then you have to sit there and think "wow, what does she have that I don't?" Well, maybe she's a legacy or maybe she had a rec from the national president or maybe she just really clicked with her rusher.

Also, when you are thinking you are the only one who got their second choice: a few girls on my floor dropped out of rush or didn't accept their bids because their parents wouldn't let them continue on. In retrospect, it's pretty clear that they didn't get their top choices and were saving face.

carnation · #4 10-15-2010, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Another thing that is tough is when Suzie PNM down the hall gets into your first choice, and then you have to sit there and think "wow, what does she have that I don't?" Well, maybe she's a legacy or maybe she had a rec from the national president or maybe she just really clicked with her rusher.

I think what's hardest about that is if you find out that she didn't have anything special going for her except 1 or 2 vocal members from her hometown pulling for her. And maybe you're a legacy and would've cherished those letters she's flaunting...and your grades are higher and you had a great resume..and you both went to prefs but not all NPCs require that legacies be on the first bid list.

(I have heard this very story at least 3 times in the last 10 years from fabulous girls.)

baci · #5 10-15-2010, 11:03 AM

So true carnation^^

This happened countless times when I was at UF. It broke my heart to see many girls dropped throughout recruitment that were really special girls.

DeltaBetaBaby · #6 10-15-2010, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation

I think what's hardest about that is if you find out that she didn't have anything special going for her except 1 or 2 vocal members from her hometown pulling for her.

I also know of cases of the opposite...girl pulling for Suzie PNM isn't well-liked in her chapter, Suzie PNM is dropped.

A friend from another chapter came to me early on bid day my senior year and told me that she was pretty sure a friend of hers was going to get dropped from her chapter because of some stupid internal fighting. She knew my chapter was her second choice, and asked me to look out for her on bid day.

33girl · #7 10-15-2010, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation

I think what's hardest about that is if you find out that she didn't have anything special going for her except 1 or 2 vocal members from her hometown pulling for her. And maybe you're a legacy and would've cherished those letters she's flaunting...and your grades are higher and you had a great resume..and you both went to prefs but not all NPCs require that legacies be on the first bid list.

(I have heard this very story at least 3 times in the last 10 years from fabulous girls.)

I know this might not be as much of a deal in a larger chapter, but what if the girls who are "pulling for her" - as well liked as they may be - graduate, transfer or for some reason are no longer in the equation? I would certainly hope that sorority members are not so stupid as to vote for a girl just because Peggy Popular loves her. (Oh shit, wait, we were. Never mind.

)

In all seriousness, if the girl turns out to be a good member who everyone likes, yeah, that sucks for the legacy, but maybe the other girl ultimately fit into the chapter better. I kind of doubt that people would destroy every bit of social currency they had pushing for a girl they knew wasn't a good fit. If you're a legacy and just hanging on by the skin of your teeth by pref, instead of feeling confident, maybe that just isn't the place for you.

carnation · #8 10-15-2010, 12:09 PM

Dang, I would hope that sororities would have the decency to cut legacies who didn't fit before prefs and not string them on until then!

DeltaBetaBaby · #9 10-15-2010, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation

Dang, I would hope that sororities would have the decency to cut legacies who didn't fit before prefs and not string them on until then!

But if a girl is at pref, that means they want her in their chapter. They just might not want her as badly as they wanted someone else.

On the flip side, at schools where you pref three chapters, if you list ABC then DEF, you could match to neither and end up in XYZ, where if you had listed DEF first, you would have matched there**. So sometimes the PNM's end up in their third choice because they aren't honest enough with themselves about where they belong.

**NB: This is not an example of getting cross-cut. Cross-cutting is an urban legend that I'd be happy to explain elsewhere.

KSUViolet06 · #10 06-12-2011, 03:57 PM

Bumping for summer so PNMs can read it.

carnation · #11 06-12-2011, 04:33 PM

I was looking for the "Like" button about this being bumped.

I am so embarrassed.

AnchorAlumna · #12 06-12-2011, 07:44 PM

Me, too. We need "like" buttons. For thumbs-up. Or something.

AZTheta · #13 06-13-2011, 03:35 PM

I do not have to understand any of this. I have AZ-AlphaXi to understand it for me. That is yet another benefit of our friendship!

AZ-AlphaXi · #14 06-13-2011, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzTheta

I do not have to understand any of this. I have AZ-AlphaXi to understand it for me. That is yet another benefit of our friendship!

Glad to help out anytime. And since I'm retiring in 17 days, I'll be glad to be an on-call consultant.

FSUZeta · #15 06-17-2011, 08:22 AM

decisions like the one discussed above would often be cleared thru a national officer before snap bids were offered.