Feeling Misled by Sorority

[Loyally Kappa]

Have fun and just don't drink. Offer to be the designated driver once in a while. Folks will appreciate it. And on the bright side, at least you will never be the butt of those Ashley-Smashley-Trashley jokes!!!

[minDyG]

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

Also, if you are a new member of an NPC sorority, other new members shouldn't be drinking during your new member period anyway.

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

haha ok!

I guess every sorority at the University of Arkansas forgot that rule. The new members were the biggest drinkers post-bid card because they'd been pent up.

Is that a rule? I've never heard of it before. While we were in no way encouraged or "allowed" to drink if we were underage, it was definitely an unspoken thing that those who wanted to and were able to were doing so at their own risk. I've heard of fraternity men being barred from drinking during their new member periods, but never NPC sorority women!

[rosiegirl]

Thanks so much for all the advice and encouragement. I think mainly what I needed was some perspective, but it's kind of hard to step back when you're in the middle of it. I am going to take my time to make a decision because I agree you can't judge 120 girls by the comments of a few. I guess the thing that threw me the most was to find out that it's accepted or even expected that these issues aren't discussed during rush. I honestly didn't know that and I wish it wasn't one of the four things you don't talk about because it's kind of an important issue, at least for me.

I also REALLY appreciate the comments that this may be a reflection of the alcohol culture on campus as a whole, the comments that this will probably settle down as the reality of classes hits, and the comments that perhaps the partiers are just a bit louder in the beginning. Big sigh of relief from those, so thanks very much!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

Also, if you are a new member of an NPC sorority, other new members shouldn't be drinking during your new member period anyway.

Originally Posted by minDyG

Is that a rule? I've never heard of it before. While we were in no way encouraged or "allowed" to drink if we were underage, it was definitely an unspoken thing that those who wanted to and were able to were doing so at their own risk. I've heard of fraternity men being barred from drinking during their new member periods, but never NPC sorority women!

Under 21 year olds shouldn't be drinking, period. If they are telling the new members they aren't allowed to drink but turning the other way when 19-20 year old sisters do it, that is hazing. Telling NMs they aren't allowed to do things that are legal by law for their age group (smoking and, back then in some states, drinking) was declared hazing back in the 1970s.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

Also, if you are a new member of an NPC sorority, other new members shouldn't be drinking during your new member period anyway.

Is this new? I've never heard of this?!

[APhiAnna]

Quite frankly, I don't know your campus but I'd be willing to guess that ANY sorority you joined would have had their fare share of partiers...and guess what? Any other organization outside of greek life you would have joined would have had partiers too. Even religious organizations have their fare share of people who still party heavily. It's college, so don't blame the sorority for something that is a generational thing.

In addition, I am sure there are many members who don't drink or who drink infrequently. I would still go to socials, especially as a new member because most of your pledge class will be going to those. But there are so many aspects of greek life where even the craziest girls will be completely sober, such as philanthropy, athletics games, optional committees, Big Sis/Lil Sis, TV marathons, lip-sync practices, etc. The girls that may be "too crazy" during a fraternity party or a new member social are not going to be the same way during those dry activities, so make sure you are not judging them for how they'd act in a different situation.

Nobody minds a sober girl, but nobody likes a judgmental sober girl. So stick it in there, go to all the activities that won't have behavior you feel uncomfortable around and don't speak ill of actives/new members drinking. I guarantee you they don't care that they don't drink, but the second you start openly or excessively casting judgment on those activities it could cause drama. So politely refrain and realize that regardless of what you do in college there will always be partiers.

[SusySorostitute]

I know that the "fake-ness" of recruitment can hit hard in so many different ways, and it sucks, but we don't have a better system yet. Stick with it. There are girls in EVERY sorority that drink. Remember all the other great reasons why you picked your sorority and determined it was the match for you! The high academic achievement, philanthropic involvement, friends you made, whatever! Just do what you do and let other do what they do. If you be yourself, and don't make a big deal out of not drinking, no one else will! If you walk around like you are better than everyone for not drinking, the other girls might get sick of it. You mentioned something about not wanting to make the girls who drink feel uncomfortable because they'll think you're judging them for drinking in front of them. My advice for that is simple- DON'T! don't judge people for drinking and they won't judge you! Also, don't discount people as your friends because they drink. A lot of people are saying find the girls in the house that don't drink, of course this is very true and just by the sheer date of your post, I assume you are in a very large pledge class so you will definitely find others who don't drink, but make friends with the girls who drink too! You made a connection with them during recruitment, I'm sure you have a lot to connect with these girls about. All that aside, the beginning of the year everyone wants to show off because they are big bad freshmen or sophomores. It'll all cool down.

[MaggieXi]

I believe some campus Panhellenic's have dry new member periods, and was under the impression (maybe mistakenly) that this is an upward trend due to risk management issues. I thought it was to curb pressure on NMs to drink (whether hazing or peer pressure) after joining an organization, plus its illegal to drink alcohol if you are under 21.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

I believe some campus Panhellenic's have dry new member periods, and was under the impression (maybe mistakenly) that this is an upward trend due to risk management issues. I thought it was to curb pressure on NMs to drink (whether hazing or peer pressure) after joining an organization, plus its illegal to drink alcohol if you are under 21.

If they aren't 21 they can't drink anyway. During pledge activities you aren't drinking anyway. But if you had a NM who WAS 21, and she got in trouble for, say, being at the local Applebee's and having a beer with dinner, or couldn't get served at a mixer held at a third party, she would definitely have a hazing case against the Panhellenic who made a "dry NM period" rule.

I realize at many schools this is a moot point as there aren't many pledges under 21, but the schools are setting themselves up for a lawsuit if that exception to the rule DOES come along.

[KALee94]

I really appreciate this thread. I am planning on attending a major party school in the SEC, but only because they have the best program for my major in the state. I really wanted to rush because of the sisterhood, philanthropy, and academic bent of social sororities, but I was worried about rushing when I don't drink or smoke or anything. Again, thanks for the thread and the replies.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by KALee94

I really appreciate this thread. I am planning on attending a major party school in the SEC, but only because they have the best program for my major in the state. I really wanted to rush because of the sisterhood, philanthropy, and academic bent of social sororities, but I was worried about rushing when I don't drink or smoke or anything. Again, thanks for the thread and the replies.

Good luck! As long as you keep an open mind, you'll be fine. Just wait for the excitement and newness of partying to wear off a little bit and find the girls in the chapter that feel the same way you do (there WILL be some). Be courteous to everyone, and be careful not to judge and you'll have a great experience.

And don't be afraid to go to parties and events. Just put some Coke in a Solo cup and have a good time.

[sydney bristow]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

And don't be afraid to go to parties and events. Just put some Coke in a Solo cup and have a good time.

I'm 21 and I STILL do this. As long as you have a cup in your hand nobody is going to know what's in it and you'll be just fine.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by sydney bristow

I'm 21 and I STILL do this. As long as you have a cup in your hand nobody is going to know what's in it and you'll be just fine.

I did and do do it on nights when I have work/class the next morning and it's a great way to keep people from asking repeatedly if you want beer.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by KALee94

I really appreciate this thread. I am planning on attending a major party school in the SEC, but only because they have the best program for my major in the state. I really wanted to rush because of the sisterhood, philanthropy, and academic bent of social sororities, but I was worried about rushing when I don't drink or smoke or anything. Again, thanks for the thread and the replies.

Well, that narrows it down to twelve schools.

[itb2a]

Don't sweat it.

The most respected brother in my fraternity did not drink or smoke. He did go to every party and event; and he (and his dates) always had fun.

If you stand by your principles, you will be respected.