Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil
 Not facebook and Internet friendships. Talking about face-to-face friendships.
I just finished watching a story on male friendships on CBS This Morning.
Watch it here: http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/lack-o...affect-health/
They say some interesting stuff. What do you think about your friendships, overall, and are there gender components to your friendships? What say you GCers? Men GCers, what do you think of your friendships? |
(Story link wouldn’t open so I didn’t hear the CBS interview, but I did google the book title and read its reviews/comments.)
Men make social connections just as women do—although, I think our friendship interactions often differ in terms of frequency, and how the friendship’s “depth” is perceived by others. I suspect we may have fewer friendships, but who can really say?
I have friends I talk with daily/weekly, and friends I talk to every few months. With some, it's weightier issues, like faith; with others, it’s politics/sports/social issues, frat stuff, hobby stuff, etc… Is one set better than the other? No, because I don’t have to have them. They all add something to me, make me a better, more developed man, but I don’t consider them essential. (I guess I’m assuming that more women have relationships they consider essential.)
Male friendships can have a complexity, but I’d guess most are mutually rewarding because of their simplicity. I can’t say men are loners by nature, but I think we are more so than women. Besides the basic rule of friendship is this: You bring me excess or avoidable drama, the friendship is getting turned down low.
Regarding gender, I think some women tend to view male friendships as “less than” because we tend to gather less frequently, (for lunch, or shopping, or just to sit around and talk) than some women do, so they’re somehow not as “good.”
Most men have probably heard the question, “how can you guys be close? You don’t talk for months and then pick right up where you left off?” All I can say is “it’s there.” Whatever it was that built and has sustained the friendship, stands beyond the time/distance of contact. Maybe that’s the undiscoverable quality of friendship anyway; no one can really speak for a friendship they are not a part of.
As to book referenced in the CBS story, I’m always initially leery of people pushing books. But, hey, it’s America. Everybody’s got their grind.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby
I read something a while back about how hetero breakups are worse on men, because women typically have close friends they can confide in, and men typically just lost the only person they really confide in. I think it makes a lot of sense, and I've seen it play out in my friend group as we hit the divorce years.
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I think it depends on the man's make-up. His inner resolve, how he views life. Some curl up and cry. Others realize that, Lord willing, tomorrow may bring both challenge and opportuity. If you're ready for both, you win.
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