UGA Recruitment Winds Down

[AXi1257]

I have been reading this and just waiting for the word on your DD!

[BAMA2]

Congrats!!! Let us know where when you can!!

[UGAMOMof4]

Any word yet on whether all the chapters made quota? I wonder if there is still some snap bidding going on?

[srmom]

Hooray!! You had me kind of worried there! (sympathy worry)

Congratulations and let us know where she ended up!

[UGAMOMof4]

Thanks Lightening Bug! I keep hitting refresh too! I don't want to miss anything. I'm worried about our local girls. We sent quite a few to UGA this year and there has been no buzz in the community and no emails about recruitment. I don't want to be the one to ask, but the fact that no one is talking might indicate that it was a tough year for our local girls.

[UGAALUM]

The sororities membership get the list at 4pm today, but probably won't tell the girls until closer to the time the PNM actually receive their bids.

[Greek Stress]

ok I am new at this and just spent 5 min. writing my thoughts and got kicked out.
So I am just going to hit the button and see if it works first.

[Greek Stress]

I have just spent the last week talking and texting with my daughter a PNM at UGA.
What a stressful week for both of us. I come from greek life of 30 years ago. It was never this bad. Yes my daughter got a bid from a sorority she wanted but she was forced to suicide that bid. The only other pref she was invited to was a sorority she felt she would not fit at all at. She did not want to be forced to join it if her first choice did not take her. But because she did not maximise her bid process, if the 1st choice had denied her she would not have been able to be picked up by others or go through informal rush. I understand this rule and that some would abuse it if they could "work the system" But what about those that are truly unmatched with any other choices? She was cut early by a couple sororities who she felt she knew several girls and would be ok. I have heard that if they are a sophomore they have "no say". How can so many girls get cut with only 7-10 min. with one or 2 girls who may also have not had much in common with her? She got mismatched but took the boot because of it. There must be a better way?

Originally Posted by Greek Stress

I have just spent the last week talking and texting with my daughter a PNM at UGA.
What a stressful week for both of us. I come from greek life of 30 years ago. It was never this bad. Yes my daughter got a bid from a sorority she wanted but she was forced to suicide that bid. The only other pref she was invited to was a sorority she felt she would not fit at all at. She did not want to be forced to join it if her first choice did not take her. But because she did not maximise her bid process, if the 1st choice had denied her she would not have been able to be picked up by others or go through informal rush. I understand this rule and that some would abuse it if they could "work the system" But what about those that are truly unmatched with any other choices? She was cut early by a couple sororities who she felt she knew several girls and would be ok. I have heard that if they are a sophomore they have "no say". How can so many girls get cut with only 7-10 min. with one or 2 girls who may also have not had much in common with her? She got mismatched but took the boot because of it. There must be a better way?

Your daughter got a bid from a sorority she wanted. Others were not as lucky.

Just leave it at that and don't waste your time asking "how come?"

[Lightning Bug!]

Originally Posted by Greek Stress

I have just spent the last week talking and texting with my daughter a PNM at UGA.
What a stressful week for both of us. I come from greek life of 30 years ago. It was never this bad. Yes my daughter got a bid from a sorority she wanted but she was forced to suicide that bid. The only other pref she was invited to was a sorority she felt she would not fit at all at. She did not want to be forced to join it if her first choice did not take her. But because she did not maximise her bid process, if the 1st choice had denied her she would not have been able to be picked up by others or go through informal rush. I understand this rule and that some would abuse it if they could "work the system" But what about those that are truly unmatched with any other choices? She was cut early by a couple sororities who she felt she knew several girls and would be ok. I have heard that if they are a sophomore they have "no say". How can so many girls get cut with only 7-10 min. with one or 2 girls who may also have not had much in common with her? She got mismatched but took the boot because of it. There must be a better way?

Welcome to modern, computerized, regulated sorority recruitment in the South! Be glad your daughter's story ended up being a happy one...we all ask these questions about the recruitment process, but unfortunately PNM numbers have gotten to the point where strict regulation and expediting of the recruitment process are completely necessary. The system is far from perfect, and both the schools and the organizations are working to find the best way to do it. Of course it is unfortunate that houses cut girls they've only spoken with for 20 minutes...but you cannot have 1000+++ girls get extended time with each sorority's members...the process would drag out forever and ever and ever, and everyone would collapse!

As OTW says...count your blessings...you could be consoling a heartbroken girl instead of just a stressed out one!

[Greek Stress]

You know, I am just trying to better understand. I am not the type who just accepts it and lays down. She got into a sorority yes, was it the one of the ones she wanted more than others, did she feel she was left with any other choice, NO. Yes that is my point, I ache for the girls who pulled out and the girls who did not get a bid. I think it is horrible.
Don't you think there are ways for surveys to be taken by the PNM's to better educate the houses on who is coming to rush and to better match them with girls they are interviewed by? Obviously using resumes does not do it. My daughter had hundreds of hours of service work in a variety of organizations, she had recs from everyone. Sheer numbers yes, but more research and time can be taken. 11 houses in one day is ridiculous.
These girls went home and went to bed and still were completely exhaused by day 3 and 4. They can't "perform" to their best when put in that condition. If only you knew the hours of tears. You know as well as I do many of these girls are dismissed for brainless, rude reasons. These girls can be extremely wicked. I can only hope that next year and the years after that these PNM's remember how they were treated and how they felt and be a little kinder to others. Isn't that what a sorority should strive for?

[ugadg]

Originally Posted by Greek Stress

You know as well as I do many of these girls are dismissed for brainless, rude reasons. These girls can be extremely wicked. I can only hope that next year and the years after that these PNM's remember how they were treated and how they felt and be a little kinder to others. Isn't that what a sorority should strive for?

Why would you want your daughter to be associated with women who cut her for brainless, rude reasons and who are extremely wicked? And why would your daughter want to be with them?

It sounds like she has landed exactly where she should. People never believe it at the time, but these girls really do a better job then you think of picking girls like them.

[MerryGPhiB]

Originally Posted by Greek Stress

You know, I am just trying to better understand. I am not the type who just accepts it and lays down. She got into a sorority yes, was it the one of the ones she wanted more than others, did she feel she was left with any other choice, NO. Yes that is my point, I ache for the girls who pulled out and the girls who did not get a bid. I think it is horrible.
Don't you think there are ways for surveys to be taken by the PNM's to better educate the houses on who is coming to rush and to better match them with girls they are interviewed by? Obviously using resumes does not do it. My daughter had hundreds of hours of service work in a variety of organizations, she had recs from everyone. Sheer numbers yes, but more research and time can be taken. 11 houses in one day is ridiculous.
These girls went home and went to bed and still were completely exhaused by day 3 and 4. They can't "perform" to their best when put in that condition. If only you knew the hours of tears. You know as well as I do many of these girls are dismissed for brainless, rude reasons. These girls can be extremely wicked. I can only hope that next year and the years after that these PNM's remember how they were treated and how they felt and be a little kinder to others. Isn't that what a sorority should strive for?

Greek Stress- you bring up excellent points that NPC has been working on for years. I too agree there is no perfect system and what I do know is women go into recruitment thinking I only want to be in this house or this other.

Here is what I do know, many women who try a house/group most of the time end up happy. It's a bit of "what I know now that I wish I knew then" sometimes mistakes happen. And that is what also happens in life. Not to say that makes it right. I was given an incorrect bid ( this was in the days of hand matching) and it turns out it was a mistake. I was given one week to depledge and repledge the other group ( which historically was the "best" house on campus)-- what happened? I loved my pledge class and the women I got to know after rush ended and decided to stay. I have never regretted it and 30 years later they are still my dearest friends.

That is why so many women on GC encourage having an open mind. It can end up being the best years of your life- if you let it. And we can always improve hopefully, the greek system will have a survey after recruitment to evaluate the process. Then will be the perfect time for your daughter to share her thoughts.

Congratulations to your daughter and her mom who cares so much~!
Smiles

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by Greek Stress

If only you knew the hours of tears. You know as well as I do many of these girls are dismissed for brainless, rude reasons. These girls can be extremely wicked. I can only hope that next year and the years after that these PNM's remember how they were treated and how they felt and be a little kinder to others. Isn't that what a sorority should strive for?

Okay, now I'm a little confused. First, we know about the hours of tears. Just check out UGADad's post - some of those tears are on our side. Don't forget - the alumnae and actives have to prepare for those 11 parties in one day, attend the parties, and then try to trim down their lists of beautiful, talented girls.

And no, I don't know of these "brainless, rude reasons". Do elaborate. I don't know to which sorority you belong, but I can assure you, without going into membership selection, that "brainless and rude" reasons wouldn't fly. "Wicked"? That's a loaded word - do you know of a single reason why your daughter was cut from a house? And when your daughter was presented with her list of houses that extended invitations to her, did the ones who cut her write rude comments on it? As she passed the houses who had cut her, did they point and laugh? Somehow, I doubt it. You must remember - just because a pnm feels a connection to a chapter does not mean that the chapter feels that connection with her. It hurts - rejection always does. But it may just be as simple as that - it doesn't mean that the chapter members are brainless, rude or wicked. They may simply have not liked your daughter as much as they liked another pnm.

Seriously, I was very sympathetic to your compassion for those who were cut - but then you started pulling out all these judgements about chapters who cut your daughter - based on what? Your chapter's experience 30 years ago? Your reading of "Pledged"? What?

I'm afraid you are coming off as more concerned about those awful chapters who cut your daughter than in the fact that the vast majority of those going through recruitment found an acceptable home.

Again, where are your suggestions for improvement?

[DoctorD]

Originally Posted by Greek Stress

You know, I am just trying to better understand. I am not the type who just accepts it and lays down. She got into a sorority yes, was it the one of the ones she wanted more than others, did she feel she was left with any other choice, NO. Yes that is my point, I ache for the girls who pulled out and the girls who did not get a bid. I think it is horrible.
Don't you think there are ways for surveys to be taken by the PNM's to better educate the houses on who is coming to rush and to better match them with girls they are interviewed by? Obviously using resumes does not do it. My daughter had hundreds of hours of service work in a variety of organizations, she had recs from everyone. Sheer numbers yes, but more research and time can be taken. 11 houses in one day is ridiculous.
These girls went home and went to bed and still were completely exhaused by day 3 and 4. They can't "perform" to their best when put in that condition. If only you knew the hours of tears. You know as well as I do many of these girls are dismissed for brainless, rude reasons. These girls can be extremely wicked. I can only hope that next year and the years after that these PNM's remember how they were treated and how they felt and be a little kinder to others. Isn't that what a sorority should strive for?

UGADad said it well earlier - it is hard on both sides - perhaps even harder on the other side, particularly at a school the size of UGA.

No one forgets how hard it is. And I will go out on a limb and say that every group does the best they can in this situation, and each group tries to treat each group of PNMs coming in the house the same as if it is the first party of the day.

So, with that... congrats to your daughter for receiving a bid! When it comes down to it, she can join only one sorority. What she chooses to get out of it is now up to her.

Let the celebrations commence! Milledge Avenue and Lumpkin Street will be the center of the universe for many a UGA student tonight.