rejected

I got my letter and was very hurt when I read it. I thoughtI had done my best, but I guess it was not good enough. I am wondering why I was rejected. I am a student returning back to school after 5 years. I suppose that the sorority did not know me. Does anyone have any suggestions for me when I try again next year.
Thanks in advance

[BFulton]

Do not take this overly personally. Many things could have happened: as you say, they may not have been able to get to know you well enough to decide; they may have had more candidates than places available and had to cut based on a variety of factors; etc. My bit of advice is to keep being involved in campus activities, keep your grades up and build your network of friends & associates. (Depending upon the type of group you're rushing, there may be other things to do or definitely not do.) Keep your chin up -- you gave it a shot and that's important!

[The Researcher]

In addition to that, If you really want it, don't let this one rejection stop you. Winners get up everytime they are knocked down.

[AKA2D '91]

I LIKE THAT, RESEARCHER!

[DGPhoney]

I am sorry you were rejected , I know how you feel, maybe you should look at other groups, either way I wish you the best of Luck and happiness, and I am sure all my sisters do too
One and Much Love DGP

[Bro2B]

Well since you said they don't know you, that's probably why you were rejected. Think about it. If you had to choose who did and didn't get a bid, would you vote for someone you didn't know? That's the point - it might be fake at first but you have to make the effort to get to know the brothers or sisters of the org.(s) you are interested in. You age shouldn't have anything to do with it.

[drinknlotsNole]

That sucks, I must say..... But why in the hell would you post such a topic? Are you a glutton for punishment?

[SweetestDiva]

Originally posted by DGPhoney:
I am sorry you were rejected , I know how you feel, maybe you should look at other groups, either way I wish you the best of Luck and happiness, and I am sure all my sisters do too
One and Much Love DGP

Not to discredit what DGPhoney said, but this depends on what kind of org you're interested in. If it's an NPHC org, I think you wouldn't look to another group if it's truly in your heart.. that's kind of understood. Not sure what your situation is, but best of luck either way!

[amycat412]

Originally posted by drinknlotsNole:
That sucks, I must say..... But why in the hell would you post such a topic? Are you a glutton for punishment?

that's really insensitive, drinknlotsNole. think before you type--what if you were down and looking to talk it out with an objective group of people sharing your interests? your friends aren't objective, that's why they're your friends. this forum offers people a place to share and vent and ask questions about the greek system and no comment or question deserves the sort of invalidation you gave it. do you realize your comment could have hurt the writer? anyway, i'm getting off my soapbox now.


[This message has been edited by amycat412 (edited March 14, 2001).]

[pledgetrainer2]

Ok. I know that when we are trying to decide who to bid, we do look at age. It makes a difference, because there are just a certain number of openings and you have to look at how many years people can stay with the organization in an undergraduate situation. If a chapter always makes quota they are going to take the younger people in order to keep the most involvement out of the group for the longest time. Because of your age, they are going to think that you will more than likely get married before you finish and move on into the alum group. Then they have to replace you. Also, if you are 25+ you may not enjoy the mixer type things that the group does, because they are mixing with younger guys, too.

It would be better to get involved with another group, and there are a lot of them, where your age won't matter-for you or them. Then join a sorority as an alum initiate.

If groups don't always make quota on your campus, there is still the oportunity to join as an active. I'm just telling you like it is. You may find the activities to "girlie/young" for you-or then maybe not. It just depends on the group and yourself-it's different with each group and each campus. We always need good alum initiates-they can be some of the best ones yet.

[This message has been edited by pledgetrainer2 (edited March 14, 2001).]

[James]

Wow, I must say that men and women are very different in their approaches to membership.

Generally you have different levels of thinking in a chapter setting.

So for example, there are people who think of others in terms of fun, there are others that think in terms of leadership and quality of participation.

I am not sure that many male fraternities would disqualify on the basis of age. They might use it as an excuse if there were other more subtle reasons why they didn't like/approve the person.

Also, generally age is cosmetic, in general a chapter is more likely to accept someone who looks younger that is older than someone who is younger but looks older.

And even then, for a person to realistically expect a bid from a fraternity he must have shown interest or been shown interest in.

So with that in mind it is possible for even a much older personn to be initiated, in fact I can see some chapter members thinking it was a cool thing to do to share an experience they value with someone who didn't get the chance to participate at a younger age.

As far as not enjoying the mixer thing . . . women and alcohol . . . hmmm . .. we said they were older not dead right?

And if they find themselves to mature to show up and talk to people, that just means a better ratio of girls and alcohol to each individiual brother (in a legal third party vending setting of course with proper adherance to policies) .

This seems to be a recurring topic . . . I am not sure how your older friends are but mine are kind of people that still enjoy life, have fun, but have greater responsibilities, and are often better at things through practice.

Granted for most the end of college means the end of dreams and aspirations but some of these posts seem to condemn y'all into becoming your grandparents, because what would be true in your implications for those older would likely be true for yourselves in a few years.

So please stop assuming that Benjamin Franklin's quote (paraphrased) Most people die at 21 but wait till their 60's to be burried, is true.

But women do look at the world differently than men. Although disqualifying a women on the basis that she may get married because she is a few years older than you is the same type of discrimination that women have seen in the work place. why would women discriminate againbst women?

Oh well . . .

In the meantime please introduce me to your better looking fun loving alumnae that you believe are just to mature to hang out .



[This message has been edited by James (edited March 14, 2001).]

[AOX81]

pledgetrainer2,
Not allowing someone to join your organization because of age is discrimination. You shouldn't look at the age of the possible new members you should look at the qualities that they would bring to your organization.

First of all, I was 20 when I joined my organization and was 24 when I got married and graduated. I stayed active in the sorority from the time that I got married to the time that I graduated which was six months. And let me just tell you I was probably the most active member.

Secondly, you shouldn't assume that people who are 25+ would not enjoy the mixers that are planned because it would involve younger guys. I met my husband at a mixer two years ago and he is two years younger than I am. Is there some sort of rule that I should know about for dating younger guys?

Why would you tell somebody to get involved with another group if they were interested in yours?? (sorry, we like you, but you're too old) Age shouldn't matter. I don't know what school you go to or to which organziation that you belong, but it isn't like that all over.

I surprised someone hasn't busted your organziation for discrimination. No wonder most people don't want to join a greek organization...

James, I'm with you on this one.

[33girl]

To my understanding, a rejection letter is used by NPHC organizations. deeplyhurt, you didn't say but I'm going to assume that's what you were interested in.

If that's the case, if at first you don't succeed, TRY, TRY AGAIN....and LEARN and GROW in the process. "Reach for the moon - even if you fail, you'll be among the stars."

[Katey Alpha Gam]

One thing that I always tell my sisters when choosing a new sister is to think of the girl as well as the chapter. Maybe they think that you weren't going to be happy there. Hopefully there are other sororities at your school to look at. please e-mail me and I can tell you all about mine!

------------------
Katey, ZA chapter of AGD
"Could I have been anyone other than me?"-Dave Matthews

[pledgetrainer2]

Now wait a minute. I am only telling the truth. Besides, membership in Greek organizations if based on discrimination of many different types. Life is full of discrimination, when picking friends. You descriminate against the one who has no personality at rush parties, who looks like they fell in a tackle box, weighs 300 lbs., who dresses like a whore or talks trashy, so when in the world did being way older than the group become something to try to hide as a factor in picking members? We pick people that we think will fit in with the ones we already have-and I agree-who will contribute in a way that will add to the membership.

When you don't take quota-there is more likelyhood that you will take some who might not have made it otherwise.

I didn't register my school or group, because I want to be able to tell the truth without worrying about anyone wanting to trash my GLO. I've seen too many of you post that your group has all the hot girls or guys-how did you get them, is you didn't make that a priority when picking pledges?

And as far as woman descriminating against women-they do it a lot worse than women do, during school and afterwards. Always will. We may come down on men for doing it, but you know we do it, too. I think it is because women have worked so hard to get ahead, that they find it hard to help another woman. SHe might get ahead of you! Sorry, that's a whole new thread and in another forum. I didn't say that I agree with it-either, because I don't.