The Don't List for Black Folks

Professor · #1 10-10-2002, 04:19 PM

The Don't List for Black Folks

1 DON'T visit a tanning booth. I do not care how light you are,tanning
is not an activity listed as acceptable for African Americans. If you
are
that light, buy bronzing creme.

2. DON'T Outline your lips with black lip liner. You are not white. Your
lips are big enough already. There is no need to call attention to them.

3. DON'T Leave the house without using lotion. Ashy is not a synonym of
sexy.

4. DON'T Skip a day...Your body chemistry is different from that of
white folks. Please use deodorant. Funky is only good if it's a bass
line in
a song.

5. DON'T Have three or more baby mamas/daddys. It's not cute and its
confusing. Ladies, if you do, at least give them your entire last name.
The mailman and the folks at school will be extremely confused
otherwise.

6. DON'T Call your family gathering a picnic. You got the email; you
know where the word came from. Besides, if you haven't been picked by
now,
it ain't gonna happen at your family reunion.

7. DON'T Drive a car that is worth more than your house.

8. DON'T Put on cologne without showering, bathing or washing up first.
You stink. Refer to #4 to determine the acceptable types of funk.

9. DON'T Believe the myth that all black folks can dance. Remember your
uncle at your sister's wedding? That's how you look, just 20 years
younger.

10. DON'T Confuse a hustle with a job. Your hustle is what you do in
addition to your job. Going to the studio is not a job. In fact, it's
not even a hustle unless you get paid.

11. DON'T Walk around half-naked outside. We don't want to see it. Have
you ever wondered why your lover/spouse turns the lights off before you
get
in the bed? They don't even want to see it.

12. DON'T Laugh when your children cuss. It's not cute.

13. DON'T Ever let anyone make you feel bad for being "too black",
whether in skin complexion, culture or attitude. Remember the words of
Ossie
Davis in Purlie: "I find, in being black, a thing of beauty, a joy."

14. DON'T Accuse someone of selling out simply because they've become
successful. Gospel artists, hip hop stars, and jazz musicians like nice
things just like you and if you could get paid to drink Sprite on camera
or
sell a million records, you would too. Kirk Franklin and Ice Cube aren't
sellouts, they're successful. Learn the difference and then handle YOUR
business.

15. DON'T Neglect the older folks in your life. They have plenty good
wisdom. Besides, you'll be trying to jump in the grave with them when
they die.

16. DON'T Refer to straight hair as good hair. If it covers your head,
it's good hair. You can be happy nappy.

17. DON'T Go to Bedside Baptist Church. In other words, get your butt up
on
Sunday morning, get dressed and get your worship on. God deserves it and
you
need the word whether you know it or not.

18. DON'T Pass on ridiculous emails and swear up and down that they are
true. Your cousin did not see Tommy Hilfiger on Oprah dissing black
folks, Proctor and Gamble is not owned by Satan, no one is going to
steal
your kidney if you visit New Mexico, and Bill Gates is not going to give
you
jack.

skywalker20_99 · #2 10-10-2002, 09:54 PM

Amen to #16. I'm on a personal mission to change folk's way of thinking about only straight or wavy hair as "good" -and admittedly had to change my own thoughts. Its difficult to change one's mindset about these this when it has been so heavily ingrained for such a long time.

lovelyivy84 · #3 10-10-2002, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor
The Don't List for Black Folks

6. DON'T Call your family gathering a picnic. You got the email; you
know where the word came from. Besides, if you haven't been picked by now, it ain't gonna happen at your family reunion.

18. DON'T Pass on ridiculous emails and swear up and down that they are
true. Your cousin did not see Tommy Hilfiger on Oprah dissing black
folks, Proctor and Gamble is not owned by Satan, no one is going to
steal
your kidney if you visit New Mexico, and Bill Gates is not going to give
you
jack.

FUNNY how these two things are in the SAME EMAIL. Where does the author think that whole hype about the word "picnic" came from?

THIS IS JUST NOT TRUE

Picnic comes from a FRENCH TERM (pique-nique, and no nique is not french for n*****) and has nothing to do with the south- it's been in the English vocabulary since THe Norman Invasion, lol.

Steeltrap · #4 10-11-2002, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor
The Don't List for Black Folks

1 DON'T visit a tanning booth. I do not care how light you are,tanning
is not an activity listed as acceptable for African Americans. If you
are
that light, buy bronzing creme.

9. DON'T Believe the myth that all black folks can dance. Remember your
uncle at your sister's wedding? That's how you look, just 20 years
younger.

On No. 1, I am rather light, particularly my legs. Once upon a time, I bought self-tanning creme, but the isht is messy.

But my (biological) sister and I both lay out in the SUN, not in a tanning booth, so I guess we may have our black card revoked.

On No. 9, that is sadly true. I've never been coordinated and in fact, chose not to participate in my chapter's step team.

BigChill06 · #5 10-11-2002, 01:27 PM

Quote:

16. DON'T Refer to straight hair as good hair. If it covers your head,
it's good hair. You can be happy nappy.

*As I play with my Locks*

PrettyKitty · #6 10-11-2002, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BigChill06

*As I play with my Locks*

how long are your locks? I just saw this man last night when I was chopping my hair off

at the hair salon with the most beautiful locks...they were small and very neat and half-way down his back...

Eclipse · #7 10-12-2002, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lovelyivy84

FUNNY how these two things are in the SAME EMAIL. Where does the author think that whole hype about the word "picnic" came from?

THIS IS JUST NOT TRUE

Picnic comes from a FRENCH TERM (pique-nique, and no nique is not french for n*****) and has nothing to do with the south- it's been in the English vocabulary since THe Norman Invasion, lol.

You beat me to the punch, LI84! I chuckled at the irony as well! People, just a little bit of research will show that most of the email 'alerts' we get are not true!

thesweetestone · #8 10-13-2002, 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor
12. DON'T Laugh when your children cuss. It's not cute.

oh, that is the worst. Amen.

KnowledgeEternal · #9 10-15-2002, 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor
6. DON'T Call your family gathering a picnic. You got the email; you know where the word came from. Besides, if you haven't been picked by now, it ain't gonna happen at your family reunion.

18. DON'T Pass on ridiculous emails and swear up and down that they are true. Your cousin did not see Tommy Hilfiger on Oprah dissing black folks, Proctor and Gamble is not owned by Satan, no one is going to steal your kidney if you visit New Mexico, and Bill Gates is not going to give you jack.

Oops. lol